Sleep training before 4-months

[Limpshade]

Firstly, I don't wish to enter a discussion about whether or not sleep training is advisable/inadvisable/the work of the devil. I sleep trained DD1 at 5 months (controlled crying, not CIO) and it was the best thing I could have done for us both. I will definitely be doing it again with DD2.

I'm interested to know if anyone sleep trained their baby before 4 months and if so, whether or not you still were hit by the 4-month sleep regression?

DD2 is 3.5mo and I'm thinking that, since I'm going to sleep train anyway, I should just do it now** and in the hope of avoiding it! With DD1, she had to have my nipple in her mouth and be in my arms (no lying down) the whole night and it was horrendous. DD2 currently will only nap 15 minutes without me and so I picture it going the same way. I really don't want to go through it again if I don't have to.

But I won't train DD2 this young (even by my standards, it's young) if it won't make a difference. She'll be my last so I'm (mostly) happy for all the cuddles right now.

We did very gentle sleep training from 6.5 months in desperation as we got no sleep and DD screamed all night. Worked amazingly. We tried pick up/put down and other gentle techniques earlier but it didn't work. I think they're just too young and too risky to let their stress hormone levels amp up so much.

I feel your pain though. I had to go to bed at 6pm every night while DH had baby downstairs just so I could get 3 hours sleep as after that I got about 90 minutes total across the rest of the night, which went on until 6.5 months. Utterly exhausting.

I wouldn't call it sleep training as such but I started a routine with my now 8 week old a week and half ago and he has started sleeping for longer periods the last three nights now he's in the swing of things!
However he's had his first jabs today so that will possibly ruin things....

Sleep training doesnt always involve leaving them alone to cry in a dark room so go away with your abusive accusations!

I don't know why I'm getting involved but here I go....

Sleep training will always be controversial. I get why a lot of people get very upset when people say they need to try it. But to those please try and be understanding. Nobody ever wants to do it, but parents who so are usually at their wits end with sleep deprivation. Unless you've been there you have no idea how it truly ruins you. And quite honestly a sleep deprived mum us not going to be the best mum.

I think the only thing you can do is read the research, listen to the advice of professionals and make your own judgement. You know your baby best.

But to those against it, please try and at least give your advice sympathetically. Calling OP abusive and casting shame on her is totally unacceptable, and all you will do is rile her. Perhaps if you fave advice on ways you e tried that weren't training that have worked you might be more helpful.

Just think it through before replying. We're all mums together on here aren't we?!?!

@JupiterDrops which technique did you use, if you don't mind me asking? I'm just curious, my own DS is still a little young.

@FiresideTreats so we started making naptime/bedtime a proper routine and did the same each time.

1. nappy change
2. story
3. dim lights
4. cuddle and sing twinkle twinkle
5. put DD down in cot, turn off the light
6. say sleep cue ('sleepy time night night' x3)

I'd stand there and pat and ssshhh and generally comfort for a minute without picking up, then pick up for a cuddle.
And repeat. Over and over.

(I think my DD was an extreme example so hopefully you wouldn't end up having to do it for so long. She didn't sleep more than 20 minutes in one stint in the day until she was 5 months)

Around 3/4 months we aimed for 3 naps a day, so at the same time each day I'd do the routine and then bedtime. I'd keep picking up, putting down, patting etc on repeat until the desired naptime had finished so she was used to having quiet time in her routine.
It honestly took weeks but eventually she settled really well into it.

Nighttime sleep took more work and around 7 months we did a tiny bit of controlled crying. Usual routine then left the room for 1 minute, then 2, then 3. Got to 3 minutes three times across two nights, so really about 15m of crying in total when it's all added together. From that second night sleep was a million times better. Still woke up a couple of times for a brief cuddle then straight back down.

She's now 14 months and around her birthday just decided to sleep through and does almost every night now, 11 hours+.
Naps are a dream, put her in her cot and walk out. She lies down and goes to sleep.

Horrendous sleepers CAN become great ones I promise!!!

@JupiterDrops thank you! Really appreciate you taking the time to type all that out. My DS is only 17 weeks at the moment and is either fed or rocked to sleep (or nods off in the pram/car seat). We won't try anything yet but your post gives me great hope that learning to self-settle is achievable at some point in the future!

@Limpshade we did it at 7 weeks when we moved her to her own room. She has slept through the night (7pm-8am) since then, no sleep regressions at all. She is now 7 months old

Wow, thanks everyone (almost everyone ). Honestly I don't care if someone thinks I am abusive for considering this - anyone who knows me (and my happy, healthy kids) would find that laughable - but thanks for your words of support!

We do already have a strong pre-nap routine (as is allowable with a demanding toddler who frequently drops in to shout HIYYYAAAA at the top of her voice ) but all that for just 15 minutes' sleep... hmm. Lots to think about here. Thanks again everyone.