DIFFICULT EX

[ZoeSusan]

I'm writing this with a heavy heart and feeling totally and utterly devastated.
My ex and I have 2 beautiful children together aged children together, aged 1 and 3.
We haven't had set days because he has been coming here whenever he feels like it to see the children (which isn't very often), maybe once or twice a week. I have put a stop to this as he has started calling me vile names in front of the children. He has turned nasty about this and said he will start having them every Friday and Saturday after this weekend. Knowing full well I work this weekend, a 12 hour shift on Saturday. I asked why he can't have them this weekend and he said it's because he is going to a local festival this weekend which he already has a ticket for and in his words 'you didn't ask me to look after them this weekend so I've made plans' 🤬
He hasn't seen them now for 8 days, and the last day he seen them (last Thursday) he called me a 'fat dumb c**t' in front of them and He hasn't made any contact asking to have them at all this week.
I said to him today that he hasn't seen them this week and thought he would be looking forward to having them for the day on Saturday, and he said 'well that's your fault I haven't been able to see them'
I'm really at a loss to what to do about this situation. I never wanted things to turn nasty and certainly never thought he would be this selfish. A lot has happened which he has turned around on me and he's displaying signs of very narcissistic behaviour. His family do not like me so I can't talk to them, and I just feel like this is very unfair. I have had to miss work before because he has refused to have them, saying 'I'm not your glorified babysitter to have them just while you're at work'. He hasn't given me a decent amount of child maintenance in 2 months because he's been emergency taxed at work and when I quizzed him about how he can afford to go to this festival but not pay for his children he said the ticket was bought for him as a present.
Any advice we come please. Thank you in advance. Am I being unreasonable?

I wouldnt bother with his sorry ass!

He should be seeing the children every single week, thats what i have in place with my sons dad, we both work so granted its not the same day every week but we keep in communication, i make sure he pays for his school uniform or if he needs a new coat or anything, i may sound like a money grabber but in fact im far from it when i have my son every single day and i pay for his food and his after school activities. Sometimes when im working he even stays at mine and watches my children as a favour.

You both had the children so why cant he pay? Festivals are not important!

If he cant help you then tell him not to bother..after all you are a woman and we can do everything ourselves!

GIRL POWER :)

It sounds like your ex is not happy with being expected to share childcare and resents you being able to work and be Independant of him. You won’t accept his name-calling, so messing up your shifts is his next way of trying to scupper your new life that isn’t centred around him.
In my experience, this will get worse as he realises you can survive perfectly well without him. So it’s time to look for reliable childcare elsewhere if you want to keep your job.
Don’t be surprised if he reduces contact with dcs as he realises he has no control over you. He is already blaming you for him not bothering to come and see them. It’s sad but if he’s already using his time with his dcs to cause you problems, then he doesn’t care much for them, does he.