Still so tired and making me unreasonable

[Rach000]

My baby is now 8 months but still wakes during the night. I am breast feeding but would like to stop as going back to work soon and I also want my husband to do more.
She wakes in the evening usually. Maybe about 8 or 9pm. Then sometimes at 10 then about midnight. Then she will wake twice again before morning, sometimes it has been once but not often. So I can't even get an early night and get a few hours unbroken sleep. My husband just doesn't really get it, he says he does but then doesn't always offer to get up early with the baby and toddler as he sometimes needs a lie in. Which is ok sometimes but he says he is tired...
I am getting so snappy and starting to shout some days when I am more tired and hate it.
I don't know why she wakes so much. How can I improve sleep?? Any tips?
I also want to just stop breastfeeding, how can do that when she doesn't really want to. She will sometimes take a bottle but not all the time and not when she is tired. She ends up having a long feed and won't always stay asleep after so can't put her down for a nap. Would be better for us all if she had decent naps during the day but doesn't she just sleeps while feeding mainly.
Sorry if that doesn't make a lot of sense. I just feel I am not doing it right as it's not going well as should be better by 8 months.

I am sure someone more helpful maybe along soon. By that age I was ff and DD still woke at least twice a night and lots of milk so you may have to get DH to share night time formula feeding.

She won't easily take a bottle of formula. It is something I am working on but is a slow process. If she only woke twice it would be ok. But it's a couple of times in the evening, midnight then maybe twice after the other wakings. I don't expect her to sleep through as my first didn't till she was 1.
My husband needs to do more. He says he will then it's go back to me doing it as it's easier.

Is she feeding lots during the day? How long does she feed for? You mention she sleeps whilst feeding, so perhaps it is a comfort thing? Offer plenty of milk feeds and food during the day (how is weaning going). Perhaps send DH in to comfort her when she wakes during the night if you think she may not be hungry.

Weaning is going pretty well. She likes most foods and enjoys it but she needs to eat more. I do try to do 3 meals with some snacks.
She can have a breastfeed for about an hour in the morning and again in the afternoon. I dont want to offer less as she is even less likely to sleep then when she is tired she doesn't eat food anyway and I don't want her waking more at night. It's just so hard to know what to do.
My eldest wasn't great at night but she was having long afternoon naps by now so at least I could cook and clean or rest easier during the day. I just seem to never get a break. Even in the evening.

I would definitely offer more milk during the day and perhaps make it part of a nap routine. Milk/ breakfast/ play time, then milk/nap. Lunch/ playtime/ milk/ nap. Evening meal/play time/ bedtime routine/ milk and bed. Some kind of combination of that. Food is just for fun before one and the milk is most important. Do you put her down for naps? Or do you go by cues? Or are you very relaxed and see how each day goes?

It's so annoying as I saw a sleep advisor at the health centre a few weeks ago and she made it out that I was doing wrong for not offering enough food and was saying I need to reduce milk. I haven't reduced milk as she would just cry for it. And can't make her eat more food really. She wants me to do an early tea then do supper before bed but hard to fit in when she goes to sleep for about half 6. I always thought food was more fun till 1.
I am fairly relaxed and feed her when she wants. I have tried putting her down for naps but she won't. She needs me to feed her to sleep. Unless she is in the car or sometimes pram.
How can I stop breast feeding when she likes it so much?

You're at a tricky age with the 8-10 sleep regression and frankly, if the advice to feed less doesn't sit right, ignore it.

It naturally cuts down as they eat more, at 8 mo, they're usually not really eating significant amounts plus bf is not just the milk, it's comfort too.

It will get better but your DH needs setting straight

Yeah I have had a moan at the husband and will be talking to him again later and will make him do more. He will try but he easily lets it get back to me doing more. He needs to realise how tired I get. He says he does but he doesn't really know.
Just want to get into a better routine soon and breast feeding doesn't seem to helping.

Routines come and BF has so many benefits, but if it's not for you any more, you can change onto formula, or, like I did, wait until 12 mo and then a cup of milk