What would you do?

[pippop1317]

My ds loves being outside and playing with friends on his scooter or football. Anything really.
Just recently a new family moved into the neighbourhood and they have a son a good 3years older than mine.
My ds has been playing with him and they get on fine, but the problem is the friend is very needy. To the point of obsessive. He's constantly ringing my sons phone. Asking him if he's coming out, leaving voicemails, texting. If my ds doesn't answer he will ring and ring and ring. To the point my son no longer want to play with him.
What I'd like to know is, how can I tell this friend to back off without hurting his feeling??

I would recommend answering one call, telling him no and then blocking for the rest of the day.

How old are they? Would it be weird (is your son too old) for you to answer the phone and say he’s got other plans? Might put him off ringing if you answer.

Ds is 9 and friend is 12.

Do you know the parents? If so I’d maybe have a chat with them. They are probably unaware that he is pestering and can have a word. The 12 year old might just need some direction about it. If not next time you see him just explain kindly that if your son doesn’t answer it means he s busy and will ring back when free. If he doesn’t ring back that day it’s because he s not free. Doesn’t sound like the 11 year older is being unkind just not quite there yet in the social skills!

I have a 9 year old boy and in your shoes I would probably step in. I would answer the phone and say sorry - we’re busy! I think the message may then get through without upsetting the 12 year old.

I'm fully aware that as he's new to the area he hasn't made many friends yet and is clinging to my ds for that reason. This is why I'm afraid of saying something as I don't want to come across as rude or anything and hurt his feelings.
The friends was also playing with a girl and she has since cut contact. I think he may have been the same with her.
At breakfast this morning my son said "I have lots of friends but he won't let me play with them when he's (friend) is around"
I feel that keeping my son in is punishing him for something that isn't his fault ☹️