15 year old DD with a broken heart

[oolie123]

My 15 year old DD was with her boyfriend for 10 months. They went to the same school and he is a year older and just done his GSCEs and is now going to college. I really liked him - he seemed like a calming influence on her and they seemed to have a lot of fun together. A couple of weeks ago out of the blue he dumped her as he 'wanted to be single for Reading Festival and going to college'. Seems such a cruel thing to say and really didn't think he was like that. She is devastated and I am at a loss of what to do / say. She is constantly tearful/crying and doesn't want to see her friends. I can cheer her up for short periods of time (shopping, spa etc) but I don't know how to make her feel more positive about the future?

She will be fine, at least he was honest and there was no stringing her along. At 15 it momentarily feels like the end of the world, just be there to talk to and stay positive. She will be better when she is back to school and not moping about. Hope she is back to herself soon.

I also had my heart broken at this age and it sent me into a downward spiral. You are so lucky that you have a close relationship and know what has happened to her. I didn't have this with my mum, and all she could see was a bad/sad mood and we ended up fighting all the time. If I could turn back time I'd have told her what was going on and how heatbroken I felt and then she might have been able to support me. Just keep letting her know that you are there for her and explain that it might take a while but eventually she will start to feel better. Maybe take her mind off things by arranging some special time together?

Thank you for your replies. I’m trying to keep her busy with things she enjoys. She said she has blocked him on all social media as she is missing him and was feeling tempted to contact him. She seems fine one minute and is in floods of tears the next. How long did it take for you to feel better? I know it’s different for everyone but I really don’t know what is normal at that age. I didn’t have a boyfriend until I was much older.

My boyfriend broke my heart at 16, don't care what anyone says I bloody loved him & it was awful. Your poor DD. There's really nothing you can do though OP, except let her know you're there. Times a healer & she will heal. But she'll hurt for a while to. I still don't think I've ever loved anyone like I loved him & im 27 now happily married with a DD! Teen break ups, especially the first can be really tough. I just hope she retains her dignity & doesn't contact/beg him (like I did ) above all, my biggest regret wasn't losing him it was losing my self respect! Remind her of this

I went out with my first boyfriend for 9 months when I was 15/16, but I was the one who dumped him for a similar reason to the one your DD's bf has given. It's not really cruel, it's just how 16 year olds are! It basically means he's not ready for a serious relationship yet.

I imagine she'll be feeling a lot better in a couple of weeks. As others have said, it's good that you can be there for her when she's feeling sad.

My first boyfriend when I was 15 moved away without telling me. I came back from a family holiday and he had disappeared, but had left me a (cheap) ring on my bedroom shelf. Never heard from him again.
I was heartbroken for about two months, then one morning when I woke up he wasn't the first thing I thought about, and from that point on I started feeling ok again.
Unfortunately being 'ghosted' in such a cruel way while a teenager has stayed with me and affected my relationships as an adult.

Thank you all for your replies. Agree with all of you! I have said to her that she can’t control what he does but she can control her own actions and that if she keeps her dignity by not contacting him/begging she will get through this better. I know from my own experience when I have done that it has been harder for longer. I’m worried now that she is telling me she hadn’t contacted him and blocked him as that is what I have said she should do. I really don’t want something that happened to her at 15 to impact her future relationships. I know it was kinder if him to do that than string her along but so hard to see someone you love so much so hurt. I have said I think it is just timing with him but I know she sees it as something about her. She is funny, smart and beautiful but doesn’t see it. She seems so young for this to happen to her