9 year old not happy about pregnancy

[hol7492]

I am nearly 26 weeks pregnant. My 9year old son has known about the pregnancy for around 15 weeks and still shuts down when we talk about it. He's always been great around younger kids and we really thought he'd be excited when we told him but we didn't get the reaction we expected!
I know it must be a lot to take in, having had us to himself for nearly 10 years but has anyone else had this experience and found a way to soften the blow? Sometimes we think he's coming round, he wants to see everything when we buy new baby stuff and a couple of things he's even tried to take for himself and we've asked him to keep one of the things safe for when his little sister is born but this morning I sat down with him and asked him what he was worried about and the most I can get out of him is 'I want to be an only child' when asked why he changes the subject. I asked him to think about it and write down anything he can think of that's worrying him but he won't do it. His birthday is 4 weeks before our due date so we're planning on getting him and extra special present that he's been asking for and giving it from his little sister but I don't want to bribe him or him reject it cause it's from her.
I keep telling myself once she's here he'll change his mind and everything will slot into place but sometimes I feel like I'm kidding myself.

What are everyone else's experiences?

At 9 I'd brush it off a bit OP. If he senses you're concerned about his reaction then he'll probably milk this for all it's worth.

I had my DD when my first was 9 years. During the pregnancy he was a little disinterested - kids, hey! However when baby arrived I have seen him fall in love With her, ok he was a little bored initially but now he’s very proud that he Can make her smile, he likes to create records of how many smiles he can make her do!
Whilst we’re busy worrying they’re busy getting on with things.
I’m sure it will all work out

Long car journey yesterday, ds 9 told ds 4 he can remember finding out he was having a little brother and he was so happy.
It's great he said, and just as well or we wouldn't be having this conversation!!
Was filling up I confess!
Your ds will be a good big bro I am sure!

I couldn't not post because my DS was exactly the same when I was expecting DD only he was ( a mature) 6 year old. I was so worried and then when she arrived it all turned out fine. I couldn't ask for a more tolerant and caring big brother for my DD. I think he was afraid of the unknown and I don't blame him! I was nervous of adding a new baby to our little family too. Congratulations ( everything will be just fine)

Well his life is going to change massively isn't it? I'm not sure why you think this would be good news for him. Being an only means that he's probably had a closer than usual relationship with you. He's no longer going to be number 1 for you. With a new baby the baby's needs will have to come first. There'll be broken nights, you'll be exhausted, you won't be able to just do things with your DS anymore. You'll have to make things age appropriate for your LO as he/she gets older. The age gap means that they're unlikely to be playmates, they're a half generation apart.

However it is what it is. The baby isn't going to disappear so your DS will have to make the best of things. Reassure him that he will still get some 1:1 time with you and stick to it.

When he's much older, an adult, they may end up getting on very well and he will be very glad to have a sibling.

I was 12 when my sister was born, swore I’d never have anything to do with her, threatened to run away and just really threw all my toys out of the pram. Then refused to acknowledge it til she was born.
Took me a few weeks to come round to her but we’ve been so so close since she was a couple of months old. She’s 15 now and we’ve always had a wonderful relationship and I love her to bits.
I hope this gives you some reassurance

My son was 9 when I got pregnant for the second time, I thought he's be really excited, we didn't tell him anything till after my 12 week scan, we took him out for tea that night and told him after he'd eaten, oh my he wasn't impressed at all!! He refused to speak to me or make any eye contact he then asked his dad to take him home and I wasn't to go with them as he was really upset. He softened gradually over the next couple of months, when I tried to talk to him about it he wouldn't ever entertain talking to me but every now and then he'd suggest a baby name which would take me by huge surprise! He was so happy when his sister was born, they have their moments but he dotes on his little sister and quite often he'll snuggle up in her bed with her and read her bedtime stories.
We had a similar reaction when I told him I was expecting again, but once again he dotes on his baby sister and he really does love being a big brother.
I think he was scared of the change and impact on him which actually has been very little, he's extremely protective of his sisters and really does love them to pieces

Thanks for the reassurance everyone, I suppose only time will tell! Hopefully come December he'll be happy about being a big brother. I was always content with him being an only child till a couple of years ago after a lot of issues and a laparoscopy I was told it may be difficult to have more which made me reevaluate the situation, after a miscarriage at the end of last year I was hoping things would be plain sailing from now on but I guess if it took me over 8 years to come round to the idea of having another child I can't expect him to come round to the idea straight away. Fingers crossed.