second time round

[Anonymama]

OK. Discovered I am pregnant with number 2. Found one baby/toddler hard enough work as it is (although love him to pieces).

All you dyed-in-the-wool, more experienced MN-ers: what is your best piece of advice for coping with a new baby and a 2 year old?

when baby cries at the same time as toddler is crying, leave baby. Look after toddler. Get to baby when toddler sorted out.

Buy toddler a doll with bottle, nappies, etc so that he can sort out his "baby" whilst you are sorting out yours.

Get toddler to fetch and carry nappies, wipes, creams, etc. to make him feel as involved as possible.

Lots and lots of hugs

Have to admit that the fact that ds was going to nursery twice a week helped me (and him) a lot.

good advice so far - bumpety bump!

Wear baby in a sling so you have hands free to play with toddler but also feel close to baby.

Agree with nursery (or someone to look after) toddler occasionally to give time for baby.

Mine were 20mnths apart and DS quickly got used to new baby. Now 3 and 2 and play together really well (sit down time for me)

Mkae sure that the baby does his/her first smile, laugh, coo, words, steps - everything cute - to his/her sibling. Become practiced at an admiring and slightly envious tone when exclaiming (lying through your teeth) "Oh, he's never done that before - he does love his sister so much!" Work really hard at building their relationship - even if they fight other later, the basis of love will still be there. And there is nothing, I repeat nothing as sweet as the first time your older one says "we" and you realize she means her and her sibling, not her and you!

And keep a constant supply of chocolate buttons handy as bribes.

thanks for the tips. keep em coming.

Congratulations! I bought each of mine a present 'from the baby'. Involve your 2 yr old as much as possible and make sure that everyone who visits the new baby makes as much fuss of your ds too. It is bloody hard work but its good fun

Don't set yourself too high standards, if your baby is asleep and your toddler is awake then spend time with your toddler doing something they enjoy, the dishes can wait. It can be so easy to think I will just do them then we can do the colouring in, baking whatever and half way through your baby wakes up and needs fed and changed and the day slips away and you still haven't given DC1 that special mum time.

Also expect for a short time your 2 year old to wrap themselves in a blanket and say they are a baby, go with it baby them they find out soon enough it is boring and go back to being big boy/girl.

My dd thinks she is the only one that can settle ds to sleep if he is crying her fave song is twinkle twinkle and she sung it all the time when i was pregnant and I swear to you DS stops in his tracks if she starts singing it has done since he was tiny.

in the same shoes - dc2 not here yet but have been preparing dd with lots of stories about having a little brother/sister and have got her a doll (which she LOVES) and buggy to get her used to the idea - also talking about her baby rather than your baby might be a good idea - but who knows if it will all work when dc2 is actually born.
Good luck!