Tips for parenting a diva!

[NotN0wBernard]

My DS was always called 'spirited' by people when he was a baby. Fast forward a bit and we realised he lives life at 100 miles an hour and is very contrary by nature (he's also bright, articulate and funny). He's now 5 and we're on holiday and his demanding nature is really starting to grind down his Dad and I. I adore him, obviously, but he's not responding to our parenting style of trying to explain why we can't do everything he wants the moment he wants it. He also isn't grasping that there are 4 of us on holiday and we have to work as a team to do things. I know part of it is him being 5yo, but I'm hoping there might be some MN wisdom I can tap into for tips for raising a diva!. I want to channel the good stuff (being assertive and single minded) and discourage the less good stuff (tantrums, sulks, vindictiveness when he doesn't get his own way). TIA!

Sounds a lot like our DD OP. Try this book

What behaviour specifically are you hoping to change? What is your parenting style? What do you do at the moment in response to bad behaviour?

You are maybe saying to much to him iyswim you might need to keep your explanations shorter. We are doing this now or mummy is having a seat so you go and play with ... kids need clear instructions and any strops should be ignored as much as you can so you are not giving negative attention.

You can adore kids too much if you put little people on a pedastal then they think they are the be all and saying all that he is 5 but you and his dad need to worknout what behaviour you find unacceptable and focus on that. Spirited children are usually perceived as naughty and you are now struggiling you need to support him to change his behaviour.

Clear boundaries. Less xplaining and more telling him what’s what’s-

I say things like-

I have said no, did you hear what I said? (Then I make sure they repeat back what I said) ok then, don’t ask again.

Then just ignore.

How to Listen so Kids Talk and Talk so Kids Listen is worth a read.

Y es get him to say back what you have said to him

Thanks for all the replies so far. I've read How to talk so kids will listen, and found it v helpful. We do specific praise whenever we can. I'm pretty hot on manners and not being spoken to in a disrespectful way. I'm better with DS's argumentative nature as I tend to just say "well we are all allowed to have different opinions" but DH is pretty reactive and it gets his back up. I accepted DS being a meglomaniac as a preschooler but I feel I ought to be teaching him awareness of others. For example, if he wants to do X activity on holiday he needs to wait for us to be washed etc to take him (or do something we want to do). At home if he's being unreasonable I've had success sending him to his room for 5 mins (the ultimate punishment as he is an extrovert and hates to be alone) but it's hard to implement that in a mobile home on a campsite! Keep any tips or advice coming....

I would send him to sit on a chair or spot and wait on you sending him away to calm down can be done anywhere really so if you are in the caravan send him to sit at the table till you are ready to leave or untill his ranting has stopped.

I do think you both need to be on the same page with him but it isn't always easy if dad is dealing with him try to not interfere