I have two little boys, one who is five, and one who is 2 today.
My youngest seems to absolutely hate me. I have always tried treating both my children with fairness and respect, I absolutely adore them both. The oldest has a much calmer temper than my youngest, who is very feisty and cheerful. I cannot pinpoint where it has gone wrong with me and my second. I have always showered him with love and attention, well at least as much attention as I can, when also working part time.
He will normally come into our bed in the night, he will snuggle up to me and hug me, but when morning comes and he realizes it is me there next to him in bed he shrieks, and runs out of bed, looking at me with horror and disgust, and it is like he is trying to get thorugh the wall and in to the neighbours just to get away from me. He will throw such a tantrum, kick and scream, and I can forget about trying to calm him, only thing I can do is to just leave him to it, till he wears himself out.
It is nearly impossible to change his nappy, or dress him, brush his teeth, clean him, or provide any of this normal day to day care for him, as he puts up such a fight, kicking and screaming, clawing at me, scratching me in the face. I dont know HOW to change his nappy and at the same time not hurt him as I have to try force his legs up and apart. Half the time I give up as I cant get him to cooperate. Same with dressing him. Getting him into the carseat is a nightmare, too. And it doesnt matter if I try let him climb into it himself, if I "sweet talk" when try put him down, he arches himself rigid and I cant get the straps on him. Yesterday I was lucky that my husband was home, I had to call him out to strap him. He was calm in an instant, and co-operated with my husband, all smiles.
In the moments he is calm I lavish affection on him, will hug kiss and cuddle him, but he will more often than not scream like I am hurting him if I kiss him, and he will slap me in the face, or scratch me. He once took hold of both my eyes and squeezed, just because I kissed his shoulder. Or he will pinch me, my arms, the skin on my chest. My own two year old is physically hurting me on a daily basis, actually several times a day. And it hurts so much, both physcially and emotionally. I dont know what to do. Please believe me when I say he has not learnt this behaviour from me, I am not slapping, pinching, scratching, etc my own child. I dont know where I am going wrong, or what to do with it. When he starts up, all I try and do to protect myself is grab his feet (if kicking) or his hands and hold them still and say "NO, this is NOT NICE, it HURTS". What else can I do?
I have just had another battle with him over changing a poo nappy. My face is red and sore from being hit and scratched. I have bite marks on my arms. I am sat here in tears, he is currently playing naked as I cant face the battle of putting clothes on him. But lets face it, I have to do it, he cant play naked on his own, and I cant sit here all day..... By now, I am seriously considering sending him full time to nursery as I cannot cope with this much longer.