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Parenting

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Accident prone DD

18 replies

MaverickSnoopy · 22/08/2018 07:12

DD is nearly 7 and has a very very very minor hearing loss in one ear. For her whole life she has been accident prone/had poor balance/coordination, but it feels like a bit more than that. These two points are likely unrelated - 1) A hearing specialist said as much and 2) DD2 who is in the same boat is not accident prone at all, in fact her reflexes/balance/coordination are outstanding. For a while I thought they were linked and school who also commented on these things referred her for physio.

Examples. She will regularly walk into people, sometimes because she isn't paying attention but mostly because she doesn't seem to judge where they are. She spills drinks probably 2-3 times a day. She falls over/bangs/hurts herself in various ways that doesn't happen to others, largely because she has not judged the consequence of what might happen. She often tries to squeeze into spaces that aren't possible to squeeze into which always has a negative consequence. Her balance is poor which means she struggles to carry things without spilling/knocking/dropping things. She also struggles to sit properly (only with her legs behind her) and with things like using cutlery properly (could be totally unrelated). Even as a baby she was very heavy handed - until DD2 I just thought this is how babies/children were. I should add that every time I see it coming I warn her and try to support her by teaching her what consequences will happen if she carries on doing what she's doing and I do remind her to try and go a bit more slowly, but it just seems to not compute.

Her physio had originally said she thought her core needed strengthening and that this would lead to better balance and coordination and that once she felt more solid she wouldn't have as many accidents. Yesterday she said that she didn't feel that although she's been working hard and has improved at some of the exercises themselves she doesn't feel that they're having the desired effect. She can see what I'm talking about and feels that DD is not seeing consequences or being able to see danger. For example she was launching herself into the exercises despite both myself and the physio telling her to slow down and the physio physically guiding her several times to stop her from hurting herself. On one occasion she accidentally kicked the physio in the head where she couldn't see the consequence of the position she was getting herself into.

At her initial assessment a senior physio passed comment about assessing for dyspraxia. However there's been no comment about this since. I'm going to email her physio to discuss my concerns as I don't like doing it in front of DD because I don't want to give her a complex.

However - I'm posting because I'm wanting to know if anyone else has a similar experience?

I'm very conscious that I don't want to push for something (eg dyspraxia) that doesn't exist and force a diagnosis on her if this is just something that she'll grow out of or is something that lots of children go through. I should add that DH is VERY accident prone - he breaks things 2-3 times a week where he doesn't seem to have foresight and he often bangs his head and hurts himself. So maybe it's just something she gets from him!

OP posts:
WhoWants2Know · 22/08/2018 07:25

It's possible that your DH is dyspraxic as well. In previous generations it was just called clumsiness.

Hassled · 22/08/2018 07:35

I would pursue the Dyspraxia diagnosis - you mention struggles with cutlery, but how is handwriting? With my Dyspraxic DC, while the clumsiness and falling over nothing was a problem, it was the very slow and laborious handwriting that had the biggest impact at school. With a diagnosis came use of a laptop in lessons and then exams, and a lot of support. That DC is now 20 - still can't tie a shoelace or ride a bike, but otherwise doing really well.

MrsMozart · 22/08/2018 07:40

I third the dyspraxic suggestion.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

ThatsWotSheSaid · 22/08/2018 07:43

Sorry op but everything you’ve writen screams dyspraxia. No ability to grade force, lack of situational awareness, poor proprioception etc
My dd is like this. Gymnastics was the best thing we have ever done. it has emproved her core strength, balance, awareness, confidence and helped her understand where her body is. She loves it because she gets lots of ‘feed back’ from flips and the coaching is good because they physically show them what to do, not demonstrate it like dance which my daughter can’t follow. My dd has some sensory difficulties and dyslexia too.

MochiBean · 22/08/2018 07:52

My first thought when reading was dyspraxia too - it would be worth getting an appointment with a children's occupational therapist to get their thoughts!

Dyspraxia isn't a scary deal - my husband has dyspraxia and now that he's an adult you can only tell if you know the condition well! He's no longer clumsy, just mightily disorganised and with terrible handwriting Grin

MochiBean · 22/08/2018 07:54

Just adding to say that I know for parents dyspraxia probably does sound scary (I'm a teacher expecting my first in November and am aware it runs in families, I fully expect DS to have dyspraxia too!) - Just that from experience of working with many children with varying levels of the condition, it is very manageable 🙂

MaverickSnoopy · 22/08/2018 08:14

I am so glad I posted now. Was worried people would tell me this is just what children are like!

I'm not in the slightest worried about pushing for dyspraxia if that's what it is. I'm just worried about seeing more than there is and pushing something on her that doesn't exist. Honestly, I've thought dyspraxia for a while (and for DH - had no idea it runs in families!) but when I've looked it up I didn't think she quite fit.

Academically she's doing really well and actually for handwriting she came top of the class at the end of last year. The senior physio asked me this and so I got the impression that it lessened the prospect that it might be dyspraxia. Riding a bike...she still has stabilisers but honestly she doesn't use her bike enough and hasn't had enough practice to know whether that's because she hasn't had enough practice or because it's dyspraxia. She isn't great on her (single wheel at back) scooter and does practice a lot on that. She falls off it quite a bit in fact. Her 2yo sister got a micro scooter (with 2 wheels at the back) for her birthday and picked it up from day 1 (although I know we're all different)....anyway nearly 7yo has fallen off that one several times too, once cutting her leg quite badly.

School did refer to Occupational Therapy but we got a letter saying she didn't meet the criteria and wouldn't be offered an appointment. Any idea how we might change/appeal that?

I am planning to sign her up with some kind of after school sports activity this term. Her physio suggested this too. She wasn't able to do it last year due to childcare. She does do swimming lessons and is doing very well although she did initially struggle through level 1 (took a year) she has sped through level 2 and is on the waiting list for level 3.

I'm not quite sure where to go with this next (practically speaking). I definitely want to push for a diagnosis if that's what it is and posting on here is helping me to figure out if I'm on the right track or overreacting.

OP posts:
MaverickSnoopy · 22/08/2018 08:14

Ps I promise I'm using paragraphs but they don't seem to be showing on my phone!

OP posts:
intuition · 22/08/2018 08:32

The child doesn't need to have difficulties in every way to have dyspraxia. A lot of the condition relates to working memory and organisation skills, fine motor, gross motor, all different areas.

My 13yo Ds is dyspraxic but he is an accomplished sportsman in rugby and cricket and plays in goal. He has always been in the top teams at school. He swam for the school and was their top swimmer. He can ride a bike well.

But! His handwriting was unreadable, he is so disorganised and messy, he forgets what to do and when and can not tell me the months of the year or days of the week in sequence despite having just got into one of the top public schools in the country.

He has had OT, vision therapy and lots of help getting organised at school.

He is amazing and I am so proud of him but when he is growing it all gets a lot worse.

MaverickSnoopy · 22/08/2018 08:43

That's really interesting @intuition. I just have no real experience and tbh until her sister got a bit older I really put it down to normal childhood development, because I had no comparison I just thought it was normal. I had always thought it was a bit "much" but linked that to her slight hearing loss (DH also has this but a bit worse) and consequently it impacting her balance. I queried this a couple of months ago with a hearing expert and their feeling is that this is not the case. So if it's not hearing then it must be something else.

I just want to help her. I've never discussed with the doctor so I guess that might be the next step. I will email her physio first to discuss my thoughts and concerns and see what she says.

DD walked straight into an old lady with a zimmer frame yesterday. I had warned her but couldn't physically get to her in time (pushing buggy and have pgp and sciatica so very slow and immobile myself at the moment). People don't have the patience for it and get really cross with her thinking she's old enough to know better. Maybe she is, but she genuinely struggles with coordination.

OP posts:
intuition · 22/08/2018 08:55

A diagnosis is really important. My DS was diagnosed at 7 and had a year of OT / Physio. Have a look at the STEP programme for dyslexia/dyspraxia and dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/about-dyspraxia/

Depending on where her problems are a more individual assessment and plan is important. As I said my DS has limited gross motor skill problems but fine motor and memory are his area of difficulty. Saying that is mild in him but I am sure the hemp he has had has made a huge difference to where he is now.

But watch out for growth spurts, we call it his jingly jangly phase!! He is currently 6ft and growing but all over the place coordination wise. He understands now though which helps.

MochiBean · 22/08/2018 09:00

Oh bless her. Your GP can refer to an occupational therapist as well as the school so might be worth trying that avenue? Failing that it is always possible to contact and book an OT yourself, you don't need a referral, but obviously that would mean going privately and paying for it yourself too...

Dyspraxia is a spectrum disorder, so like the previous commenter said, not all of the "symptoms" apply to all people with dyspraxia.

As a side note, have you ever had her inner ear checked? I'm sure you have as balance seems to be one of your main concerns - but thought it would be worth mentioning anyway!

MochiBean · 22/08/2018 09:01

I've just seen your bits about the hearing specialist... so ignore my inner ear comment as clearly I am still half asleep...

MaverickSnoopy · 22/08/2018 09:59

Gosh I really am so glad I posted. I have really been doubting myself.

That link is fantastic and reading the first blurb has made me realise that DH has it too, without a doubt.

I will start with the physio today and see what she says re dyspraxia and whether she can pursue any avenues first. If not then I'll book a GP apt. Perhaps if I'm citing dyspraxia, which I wasn't before, Occupational Therapy may listen. I actually have a family member who works for adult OT so I will discuss with them too.

Out of interest, aside from being able to provide more appropriate support to your child, what other impacts/consequences have you found since getting a diagnosis? I'm just wondering whether it means she'll have a care plan at school or if they'll need to make any adjustments for her?

She can be quite full on and lacks awareness of personal space which I'm working really hard with her on. My concern is that this gets harder to deal with as she gets older and I worry about people thinking that she's not listening to other people's requests for personal space, when really she doesn't quite get it. From my perspective I feel like a broken record saying the same old things but they never seem to sink in, not even a little bit. So I really need some techniques (and not just to do with personal space) to be able to help her, because quite often I don't feel like I can...but I don't really know where to go with this either...

OP posts:
MaverickSnoopy · 22/08/2018 10:00

I don't think I've said it but THANK YOU!

OP posts:
ThatsWotSheSaid · 22/08/2018 10:19

Social stories are a good way of teaching personal space. They are a resource aimed at children with ASD but they work for all children.

ThatsWotSheSaid · 22/08/2018 10:21

If fact a lot of ASD strategies are useful for kids with dyslexia, dyspraxia, ADHD and all the other neuro differences. Even though her ‘difficulties’ are very mild she could still benefit. Look up sensory diets too.

TeenTimesTwo · 22/08/2018 21:40

My DD1 wasn't diagnosed with dyspraxia until y11, age 15. It so helped her to be able to label her difficulties. If you can get issues identified early it will be easier through school and for self esteem.

DD2 has motor skills issues and other difficulties but not the range of things that might come with dyspraxia (I think - jury is still out a bit).

Dyspraxia isn't an indication of academic ability. The brightest teen I know (pretty much straight A* for GCSEs) also has dyspraxia.

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