Super alert babies.. did you make it through?

[Catheroooo]

I have a very lovely but super alert 8 month old DD. she's been awake since day 3! She needs constant activity to keep her happy and is not a drop off in the car seat, pram or anywhere apart from her cot kind of girl as long as it's dark and quiet. She's tuned in to the drop of a pin... I watched a baby 2 months younger than her simply drop off today, and lay in a bouncer quite happily... things mine woukd never do.

It's hard but equally I can see all her cogs turning in her brain. I just wondered if you had a similar alert baby in the past how they turned out? Sleep is erratic and I'm signed up for it of course but I just was curious what the future will be like! I can't imagine sleep being easier until she can understand what I'm saying.

My six year old was a hyper alert baby. From birth he only slept in twenty minute stints day and night, with long gaps of awake time in between and was holding his head up at about six hours old. He crawled at five months, walked well before a year and has been non stop ever since. He ditched naps completely by the age of two. He is now on the go all day and I hear "muuum" approximately every two minutes. He is emotionally very sensitive and behind his peers. He's so overly social and excited by everything that the societal boundaries (not interrupting/waiting to talk/using quiet voice/not talking to strangers etc) are lost on him. His enthusiasm for life just takes over, we joke that he is like Parker from Friends.

By contrast, his younger brother is the complete opposite and acted more like a "normal" baby. He just quietly gets on with life, is content in what he's doing and doesn't seek the constant reassurance and approval that DS1 seems to need.

DD age 8 was like this - I remember taking down all the paintings/photos/mirrors/anything of interest in our long hall way as this was the only place I could pace up and down with her in her pram to try and get her to nod off. If she spotted anything that wasn't white wall she was fixated on it .

She still doesn't need a lot of sleep (she's sat next to me now). She usually sleeps 10.30pm to 8am. I gave up with the 7pm routine years ago. I'd sit by her bed reading for 3 hours whilst she was still wide awake.

Her sleeping was atrocious up to about age 4 when she started school. She sleeps (more or less) through the night, but getting to sleep is another matter. I have found that listening to sleep meditations on YouTube really help her though.

She's still super alert to everything and seems to have super senses - smells particularly trigger her (mummy I can smell someone having a bonfire - 3 streets away) and sounds (mummy the fridge downstairs is very loud tonight - all doors shut and 2 floors away).

She is the kindest, funniest, old beyond her years child I know and whilst I thought on several occasions I may die of sleep deprivation when she was little I lived to tell the tale and so will you.

Thank you everyone for your replies. I've spent the past 8 months fighting the way She is, feeling hard done by and honestly not accepting her. I had been in tears most days through exhaustion but today had something of an epiphany. Don't get me wrong, I'd take an easy baby any day, but now I have her, spend ing time with the other baby today who is easy was an eye opener. He doesnt do much!!! I love my little wriggly, demanding little girl. She keeps me on my toes but I've realised she is just perfect.

She's not a talker and fairly serious but mobility wise is nearly walking!

Just a few questions... what do you do bonfire night? She woke at a car backfiring last night so I know it'll cause grief! We have a fan on but it won't cut it! We love going camping but the noise from the campsites (and I woukd think even the zip of the tent) will wake her... shoukd I just give up on that idea for a few years?! And what about long car journeys? I'd love to go back to our family favourite place but it's 5 hours away, am hoping by next summer she will be 18 months and we can occupy her with an iPad if she won't sleep...

Mine is 17 now, just about to start his second year studying circus performance skills.

Our 17 year old! We used to call him 'The amazing non-sleeping baby' as if he were a circus performer. He turned out to be very clever, talked exceptionally early, loves learning about everything (well he was always awake so couldn't avoid it). When he was younger he would tell me things that school staff had talked about privately (eg staff pregnancies, staff leaving before anyone else knew as he watched and listened to everything). He began to have a decent nights sleep when he started school. He loves science and tells you all about it. He reads lots and nowadays we ask him questions. Most importantly he is such a kind, lovely and helpful young man. And yes, he still notices everything.

I’ve found my people. DD was truly the baby from hell - amongst other things, she utterly refused to nap unless it was in the car, and even then would sometimes take an hour plus to drop off and would wake up as soon as you stopped moving. Chuckling at the above poster astounded by baby staying awake for 6 hours. DD was more of a fan of a solid 10-12 wide awake . Then didn’t sleep at night either. Breastfed at least 3-4x a night (for 45 min-1hr+) and often more. Unsurprisingly she was also fractious and constantly on the go. Then, suddenly at 16 months, by which point I’d managed to night wean her with the help of DH, and cut her feeds down in the day too, she metamorphasised in to the one year old of dreams and we haven’t looked back since. Sleeps 11-12 hours a night, naps reliably for 1-2 hours a day (though admittedly still has to be in a car or pram). She’s an utter delight - incredibly sharp and intelligent, speech is advanced, physically dexterous and so kind and helpful, even at a month off 2. Tantrums every now and again but pretty easy to snap her out of them by simply ignoring. I’m not sure what 2 will bring, buy quite frankly nothing could be worse than the baby stage, so I’m optimistic. It has however scarred us for life and plans for number two have been placed firmly on the back burner.

I came here to post the very same thing!! How to occupy an 8mo who will not sit still for one second, and how to help them unwind for sleep when they wont even have a cuddle/read on your lap as they're desperate to leap around exploring despite clearly being exhausted?!

@Catheroooo, how do you get your little one to sleep? And any tips for what you do in the day time to keep them occupied to and stimulated/challenged?

@littlestrawby with difficulty! Mine is the same...

We had to do a little controlled crying if I'm honest. For the first 5 months of her life she wouldn't sleep anywhere but on me or in my bed. That deteriorated into hourly wake ups which broke me so we moved her to her own room. So she can now settle herself but it is very hit and miss. We're also in the depths of teething and separation anxiety so we are cuddling lots and I feed to sleep often but she hardly ever stays asleep longer than an hour when I do this. We try anyway as it seems a nicer way to fall asleep. When she wakes though my partner will then settle her usually by gentle singing and rocking and putting her down once calm and staying until she drops off.

It sounds simple but it can take an hour or two of repeatedly trying this! We are really just muddling through the whole time as what works can change one week to the next!

I'm going back to work next month and dreading it. She will be with my partner for 4 weeks then nursery. She won't take a bottle and I can't express... She will take some water from a sippy cup so hoping she will take some formula that way to get her through the day.

As for the day... I struggle. She really will only sleep in her cot, but when we're with others she loves it. So I have to balance the two. At home she loves a jumperoo, and noisy toys, and also water. I'm going to try swimming once a week. She's into crawling and climbing so going to try putting some cushions around something she can practice climbing on.

Reading with interest! Mine is only 17 weeks but this is all ringing a lot of bells! When I put him in his bouncer he thrusts his chest forward trying to burst out of it, insists on "standing" at all times when being held on someone's knee and lunges forward constantly as if he thinks he can walk. He can roll both ways already and will be SO much happier when he can sit up and then move by himself I think.

Also just discovered a soft play place nearby that's free for under 1s and has a baby area... might help with the climbing and walking.

Yes! Can I join the club with my little one? He'll be 7 months next week, is cruising, wakes up several times a night and has NEVER 'dropped off' for a nap. I don't think we really had a newborn phase!

Lovely to read all the stories of how other babies like this grew up to be, all your children sound wonderful. Now we just have to make it through the next few months / years alive!

My eldest was like that - held her head up when on her front from day 2, didn't sleep in the day. I always put it down to her being in the womb a month longer than her brothers, both of whom were not as alert in the first few weeks. Dc1 was 2 weeks over due, the boys both 2 weeks early.

She wasn't difficult, just very awake. She only screamed if put down, almost never cried when held.

She rolled proficiently at 12 weeks, sat at 4 months, walked at 9 months and talked early as well - joining words at 12 months and fairly fluent and grammatically correct by 2 years. She spoke 22 languages fluently by 3, second language better than many monolingual peers. That was only because we moved abroad when she was 18 months though, no hot housing!

However she's 13 now and fairly ordinary. Like most kids she's exceptionally good at some things (languages, art) mid range at many and has to work harder at the odd school subject. She's no longer exceptionally sporty, I regret letting her give up football at age 10 in some ways (friendship issues within the team were making her miserable).

Long term it doesn't mean much how they are as babies. The interactive ones are more fun, and tiny bald toothless walkers are endlessly amusing to me, I love the old videos of her

typo - she spoke 2 langues not 22

Thanks @blueskiesandforests I guess what I'm actually asking is will I be ok... it's been quite a slog and I guess I just want someone to say it will be ok and you will not keep ageing ten years with each month that passes!

I've struggled with constantly worrying that something is wrong with her, reflux, all sorts of neurological problems and my latest: autism. She is so active but speech wise not so much, we havent had any babbles yet. She rarely looks when I point or responds to her name and I know she can hear as wakes up at the drop of a pin. I've had one belly laugh and she's not very cuddly. But lately I think it's probably due to her alertness as is tuned into what's going on around her, at least I hope it is. Trying to go with 'all babies develop differently rather than trotting off to the doctors!

Life got much easier when we accepted the ds for who they are and went with the flow. Eventually the penny dropped and i understood my quality of life improved if we expected ds to sleep when we slept, ie, 10-5.50. Sgories downstairs. Cot was for sleeping. Thankfully he did have a two hour sleep from 3-5 and would sleep anywhere.

Dd needed slightly more night time sleep but would only sleep in the cot during the day so there had always to be a quiet hour and when she neededvher nap did not necessarily coincide with nursery/scho pick-ups.

Both were as bright as buttons and read early. For the car I guess you need to sit in the back and play with her and story tapes are useful and songs. Also break the journey - find a park/stately home for a picnic and good run around and have another stop or two. Make it a day in itself.

Fast forward 20 years ds has an Oxford first, has had some poems published. Has had a gap year and runs a small business on the side. About to start a masters.

DD is about to start as an undergrad at Cambridge.

DS was v sporty and steating him like a labrador puppy was helpful until he was about 7 when the sport got more competitive. DD musical so we let that dominate. Both excellent linguists and never quite found their maths brains

You will be ok, and so will she. You honestly cannot tell at 8 months whether a child is autistic - in exceptional cases you can tell at 18 months (often at that age it's noticed because a initially advanced child has a language regression and/ or exhibits echolocation), but it's usually later that autism is suspected. Certainly nothing in the behaviour of an 8 month old would suggest autism.

Many physically advanced babies talk late - not all. It's more common for development to be asymmetric than for a child to develop at the same rate in all areas.

I must say my dc3 (after sleeping almost 24/7 for his first 4 weeks) woke every 45 minutes to two hours until he was 3 years old. That did age me noticeably, and nearly broke me, but I had a 3 and a 5 year old when he was born too. He was a different type of child again. They're all different (dc2 was virtually text book as a baby, waking 4 hourly from birth) dc3 is 7.5 years old now and we all survived.

Echolochea not echo location, they aren't dolphins! I really should proofread!

Mine was like that, his brain was always buzzing.
As puberty approached he turned into a laid back monosyllabic scruff (bless). Clever with it but could sleep for England.

My eldest was like this. Didn't sleep through until six, spent all day watching intently, taking everything in screaming because she was so tired with no napping. She's now 12, and very bright, into all sorts of activities, plays music at a pretty high standard (two instruments and voice), loves sports, loves making things, is very sociable etc. She is still very intense and full-on. DH and I have a catchphrase, said in a cheesy German/Euro accent "Maximum DD" when we ask one another how their day was. She's amazing, but exhausting, IYKWIM. Goes through life being picked for everything, winning all the prizes, dancing to her own tune.

Our second was the kind of baby that you put down, they smile and fall asleep, woke up smiling and gurgling, happy to play quietly or watch me do things. Napped well from the start. He's a thinker now, but so much less intense, and happy to be part of the pack, not noticed, conforming in every way.
Interestingly, now DD has been at secondary school a year, and he's been on his own in their primary school, he has started to come out of his shell far more, and has grown enormously I'm confidence, but this could also be age-related, as he has matured so much this year (he's 9 now).

Alert babies are amazing, OP- enjoy yours. I know it's such hard work, but the fire and intensity from them is amazing. I remember a family friend meeting DD for the first time, when she was 10 days old. He said: "Bloody hell, it's like there's a real person in there!"
He's only come across baby-type babies before it was a bit of a shock for him...and then his second was an alert one!

I would expect some babbling at 8 months though - I never babbled at my babies, just talked non stop to them. However babbling with your baby can encourage them to start if they aren't doing it themselves.

Does she communicate non verbally with facial expressions and crying and by physically moving to and grabbing towards things she wants even if you have to reach/ prepare them for her (eg food, her cup, an out of reach toy)?

The raptors in Jurassic Park- that is what her eyes were like! Checking everything out, weighing it up, and calculating... always calculating.

Mine is like this. His sleepy phase lasted about a day or two. Then he was credibly cranky because of it if he’s not stimulated properly. EVERYTHING wakes him up, he’s such a light sleeper I’ve never known anything like it... and like DP, he’s fully awake straight away and focussing so there’s no sleepy wake up period that I enjoyed with my other two! It’s just HI IM AWAKE LETS GO.

DP has low latent inhibition and I’m hoping my son doesn’t have it because DP can NEVER switch off. From what MIL has said though, DP was also very difficult to cater for when he was a baby

@blueskiesandforests yep she does. She's not copying my expressions but she displays unhappiness and happiness. She def grabs for things she wants and sometimes reaches for me when I reach to pick her up. She also reaches for me e.g. when she is unhappy or is upset and doesn't want daddy. Just today she was copying me when I was attempting to sing so hopefully signs are there. She does make lots of vowel noises and I'm sure I caught one with a b start so fingers crossed.

This is my ds!!! He is 15 months old now never ever stops moving even when he is asleep, constantly wriggling around. I can count on one hand the nights he has slept through (3) and never naps for more than 40 minutes.

He is so nosey and is like a sponge, always watching and copying. Constantly babbling to himself in his own little language. He isn't quite walking yet but he crawls like lightening!! Exactly like my brother was apparently!