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Parenting

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Original poster

Want to leave husband, who says I'm lazy, with the baby to cope on his own

16 replies

Pittcuecothecookbook · 18/08/2018 17:51

Apparently, I'm lazy. Don't pull my weight around the house, and just breast feed all day.

I'm this close to leaving him to fend for himself with the baby (2 months old) until tomorrow. There is 10oz breastmilk frozen and he'd have to go and buy formula. I'd have to express all night, wherever I was.

I don't know what to do. He is the best and the worst sometimes.

OP posts:

JellySlice · 18/08/2018 17:54

Go ahead! Let him see the reality, including sleepless night and having to function the following day.

sexnotgender · 18/08/2018 17:54

Wow, that’s fucking rude! Just sit around breastfeeding all day? How dare you!

I’d just leave him and take the baby with you.

Soubriquet · 18/08/2018 17:54

Do it!

Sometimes men don't realise how easy they have it until they are faced with the truth and physical evidence is more powerful than verbal

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SBDB · 18/08/2018 17:56

He sounds charming! does he realise that you’re not feeding just for entertainment? My dh got a little like this when our 4 month old was younger but then he spent a day at home with me. I’d feed him and then hand him to dh. He soon realised I couldn’t just put him down or stop feeding. Once he saw how upset our son was getting he handed him back and asked if he could get me anything to help! Since then he hasn’t said a word!!

Havetothink · 19/08/2018 18:45

I'd get the formula first, leave it where he can see it and then go.

SnuggyBuggy · 19/08/2018 19:01

I'm really sorry your DH is behaving like this.

C0untDucku1a · 19/08/2018 19:04

Fuck that shit. Some days all
Iliterally did was sit and breastfeed BECAUSE SOMETIMES ALL BABY WANTS TO DO IS FEED! My husband, shit as he is in lots of ways, would never dream of calling me lazy for it. He would just bring me food and drinks so
I kept my energy up.

Leave him for 24 hours.

Singlenotsingle · 19/08/2018 19:04

Sounds like a plan! Go for it!

Sparrowlegs248 · 19/08/2018 22:04

I wouldn't leave him with the baby
Is leave him and take the baby with me.

gatheringmoss · 19/08/2018 23:25

This ^

I wouldn't leave him with the baby.

Havetothink · 20/08/2018 07:15

Surely OP wouldn't suggest leaving him with baby if she didn't think him capable. Maybe he just needs bringing down a peg or two?

WellErrr · 20/08/2018 07:25

If you leave him with the baby, the baby will be very distressed without you and you'll achieve nothing, because he'll just claim that he had a far more difficult time than you because he can't breastfeed etc.

I'd leave with the baby.

Havetothink · 20/08/2018 08:40

You don't necessarily need to leave overnight, half a day or a day might be enough to change his assumptions. He should learn to be a parent, not an onlooker.

Sleeplikeasloth · 20/08/2018 17:57

If you do leave him with your baby, bear in mind it could go the other way too...

bangourvillagebesttimeever · 20/08/2018 18:14

He sounds like a delight. I am assuming your little one is also feeding during the night too so your feeling fabulous during the day. Time to put your foot down with the muppet. Don't react to his nasty comments and tell him to cut it out and be supportive. He is meant to be your partner not an observer as another poster said. You need support during the early months not bloody criticism. My OH thought I would be skipping around making fresh bread when I had our first and thought it was ok to invite friends round for dinner that I was expected to cook when my baby was 3 weeks. That was stopped very quickly. I hate men who think that you being off on maternity leave is a bloody holiday! I felt like a feeding machine with my DC and when I did get a few minutes to myself it was so I could wash or eat something. Mine didn't start sleeping through the night until after 6 mths either..

pastabest · 20/08/2018 18:22

Thing is, anyone can manage to keep on top of things enough for half a day or so, perhaps even up to 48 hours to therefore 'prove' that you aren't pulling your weight and that it is seemingly possible to keep a clean tidy house, eat a few meals and look after a baby.

It doesn't highlight the relentlessness of looking after a baby 24 hours a day, day in day out, week after week and having to do all the other boring mundane stuff too that keeps the house running.

I learnt this from bitter experience when I left 15 week old DC1 for 36 hours to go to a hen do, leaving DP with a fridge full of food, and an already clean house but otherwise he had to 'fend for himself' and came back to be told that looking after babies was a 'piece of piss'.

Well yes it can be when that's literally all you have to do with a non crawling, non weaned baby, other than make a sandwich for yourself at lunchtime and chuck some oven chips in at night and your mother spends most of the day 'helping. But that's not the reality of actual parenting. You can't live on oven chips and sandwiches forever, for starters they will run out if someone doesn't buy some more, and the house doesn't stay clean by itself for very long.

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