Sorry just needed to vent and this is the only place I can vent about this really! My daughter's first birthday is next Friday and me and my partner decided to take her to Blackpool zoo for the day because it's quite local to us and we haven't been yet, so it will be a fun family day out. My mum lives over 200 miles down south and because of this I don't see her regularly. As a nice surprise, she has purchased coach tickets to come up on the 20th August and then she'll leave 2 days after DD birthday. She said she would help me on DD birthday and she'll purchase her own ticket for the zoo. While talking to my MIL, she asked me who was attending the outing to the zoo. I told her myself, my mum, DD, and DP. She seemed off but then was fine after 10 minutes so I thought nothing of it until about 3-4 hours ago. She rang me and explained that because I had changed my mind about MIL and FIL going to the zoo as well, FIL feels very pushed out and upset and they don't want to cause awkwardness or upset but they needed to tell us how they felt. I kindly explained that I haven't 'uninvited' them, I was unaware they were even coming but they are more than welcome to come if they like. I also apologised for any miscommunication leading to them being under the assumption there was already an agreement of them coming. MIL seemed very pleased with this news and started running through some things with me. Even though she had guilt tripped me on FIL feeling pushed out, she then turned round and said that he couldn't make it due to work commitments (why would he feel upset and pushed out and apparently 'made plans to come' if he never intended on going because of work??). She then demanded we change the day of us going to the zoo because DP is working Friday morning so we wouldn't get a decent amount of time there. But he would be back by 12pm so well be there at 12:30pm if we leave as soon as he arrives (which is what he said he wanted to do) and the zoo shuts at 5:45 so that's a decent time anyway. She then said 'well I'm not available that day either and because I am coming it's extremely selfish of you to pick a date that doesn't accomodate everyone'. I explained we wanted to go on the day of her birthday, but we can go twice. One on her birthday and then as just a family day out when she has time. She then said 'but It won't be the same, ill ring you when I find a date I'm available at and then we'll have her birthday outing when' she's 'ready'. She also demanded that my daughter doesn't open any presents til she arrived. One of the main presents I wanted to get my DD was a trike that a parent can control with one of them handles, after hearing this she went and bought one herself for DD! Tbh she won't even be able to use the trike because it has no straps to secure her to the seat, mil suggested I just buy baby reigns and hold the reigns while pushing the trike so she doesn't fall off. I usually get on with MIL but she seems to be very demanding about DD birthday, how do I approach this without causing any fall out!?
Sorry about the long post and bad grammar.