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Dc1&2 just told me estranged father physically abused them help?

6 replies

TROUBLEDMAM · 15/08/2018 17:09

Ds1&Ds2 recently told me that their now estranged father used to physical abuse them. Ds1 is 11 and ds2 is 10.
It was about a week ago and I sat on it not knowing what to do and then yesterday randomly started having a conversation first with ds2 and I secretly recorded it, I didn't lead the conversation I let him speak.
Ds1 walked in on this conversation and joined in so I asked him some open questions and he just broke down sobbing.
He is clearly scared of his dad & has awful childhood memories of when his dad babysat him before he moved away.
Saying how relived he is that his dad is no longer in his life. Ds2 says how he remembers how his dad changed his behaviour towards them in front of other people for example his granny (fathers mother)
I have asked my aunties advice she's not been very helpful n I also sent this video this granny my ex mil
Who thinks I'm putting words in my kids mouth -

My ex dh lives abroad he has a new wife
N since marrying to the day hasn't spoken to the kids video called visited sent them anything or took any interest wat so ever. In fact he has ignored the children trying to contact him. N now blocked us all
According to my mil it's because I shouted at him for lying to the children over when he got married n not inviting them to his wedding or even letting take part in any way shape or form.

I also have another child to him dd aged 5

Historical child abuse ~ no proof
What do I do ?
I'm also really worried that when he does come back to the U.K. he will want to see the kids regularly again

I don't know who to call where to start what to do
Any help is appreciated

I have made a solicitors meeting tomorrow
But I get 30 mins free n I can't afford to pay more

Help x

OP posts:
FoofFighter · 15/08/2018 17:13

I think first things first, get those kids some counselling. GP or school could advise on how to access that, or ring NSPCC helpine.

After that, if he is abroad and hasn't contacted them (how long for?) then probably not much to do until he attempts to see them. Solicitor will advise on that I am sure.

Flowers
TROUBLEDMAM · 15/08/2018 17:32

Thank you
February was last time x

OP posts:
Squidgee · 15/08/2018 17:34

I do think its something you ought to speak to the NSPCC about and possibly pop into your local police station and ask them about.

Disclosing what happened to them will go towards protecting them in future.

Clairetree1 · 15/08/2018 17:38

would it be classed as reasonable chastisement?

youarenotkiddingme · 15/08/2018 17:46

Agree nspcc as first point for advice

TROUBLEDMAM · 16/08/2018 00:54

I've contacted the nspcc thingy and they were really good
I've got a solicitors appointment tomorrow
I'm going to organise councilling for them but I'm not sure if they will talk to anyone if I'm honest
Thank you for your advise
From a very shocked worried mother x

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