8.5 year old ATTITUDE!

[mrsoutnumbered]

Oh. My. Gosh.

My daughter is 8 and a half and seems to have developed a massive attitude!

I can't even look at her without her saying 'WHAT?' And giving me a filthy look. Every conversation I try to have with her, she responds negatively and defensively. Everything I try to do with her is declared 'BORING' yet she loafs about the house not knowing what to do with herself.

I'm not sure what I'm expecting from this thread really! I just need to vent as it's really getting me down. I need a thicker skin!

I need a thicker skin!

No, you need to call her out on it when she does it! I teach this age group and it's quite a common thing for kids to get a bit of attitude. Nip it in the bud and it subsides until teenage hormones erupt.

Haha! Yes you're right. I do point out that her attitude stinks but beyond that I don't really know whether to ignore it or punish her for it (eg early bedtime, take away tablet).

My son is very similar. He doesn't lack a sense of humour or a playful attitude but he answers back, doesn't listen when asked to do something and if I ask for a kiss or cuddle he tries to wind me up by not giving me one. He isn't horrible about it but because I want one he messes around and turns his head away. This morning I told him we were going in campervan with another mum and her son and he moaned that he wasn't going with a friend from school. I also told him we were going to another friends caravan to Swanage next weekend and her eldest daughter is in his year at school but a different class and he moaned about that I said he didn't want to go with a girl..blah blah blah. Anyone would think he was pleased to be going away to the seaside regardless, but no. So I spoke to his dad after and said we tell him he's staying at home and I will go and see if he changes his mind. I feel he doesn't appreciate anything and feel he constantly wants to wind me up over everything he can and I don't know how to change this. Help!

My DD1 has been the same for about a year (she’s just turned 8). What seems to have helped, bizarrely, is a sticker chart, like she had as a 3-year-old! Her behaviour has been much improved since we introduced this.

This is going to be very much a YMMV answer, but we just explain to our 8yo that what she did her our feelings and why.

We wait until after the moment has passed and just calmly chat to her - this is usually at bedtime after she's in bed (which I realise sounds a cruel time to do it, but I promise we're really nice about it!)

The boring thing I think it's very much a 'that age' thing. I remember after using the same line on my grandparents, my grandad said to me that 'only boring people can get bored' - I should be able to think of something to do. It stuck with me, so perhaps it can help?

Maybe somethings wrong with her. Did you try to talk to her about it? Maybe she needs more attention and yeah you can also punish her for her bad attitude. In that way she will learn what's wrong or right.

Oh no Op, ! I’m not much help as ds is only 17 months old and going through teething combined with a sleep regression but I wanted to believe it would get better!! Seems like there’s obstacles no matter the age. I will cuddle and kiss ds while I can. Hope your daughter emerges from this awful attitude soon and starts to show appreciation for her Mum. She will eventually.

Thanks all. It sounds like it is common at her age.

I don't think there's anything wrong with her, we have asked. I think she will probably get better once she's back at school. I think that at this point in the school holidays they start getting a bit fed up and although they'd never admit it, they miss the routine of school!

Oh I’m sure she’ll get better once she’s back at school OP. They get so bored in the holidays like you say. This will just be the latest fad I bet and one of many, her friends are probably saying it I bet. She’ll probably settle right down for afew years then the teenage phase will begin! I think as one poster suggested the next time she says something is boring tell her to be creative as ‘only boring people can get bored.’