Anyone else feel excluded by other parents?

[Katearty]

So I go to lots of different baby and toddler groups but I often find myself and my child are excluded by other parents.

I'm a pretty confident person and completely fine with continuing to go even if a lot of people choose not to interact with us.

There is one group I attend were I don't seem to have this problem but it's the only one.

I often strike up conversations with other mums but I don't really get much further than the look of shock on their face when they realise how old (or young I should say) my son is (he's very tall for his age) to which I have a ready response of 'his Dad's tall' ... people are often shocked by how well he interacts and steady he is walking ect... I suppose some people would refer to him as 'advanced' ... though I disagree with this term and ask people not to use it as he's just him and he's just a baby and all babies do things in their own time.

Anyway attended a new group today to try my luck but same old story and I've just started thinking is it a 'thing'? Do parents exclude others due to the fact the child is 'further ahead in their development' than their own???

I wonder if it's me but today before I even spoke to any of the others I observed the way they reacted to him and it's like they are wary of him being near their children even though he was the one being hit, scratched, and grabbed by the others.

He's obvs not fazed by any of this which is why I keep attending as he always has a cracking time. It's just made me wonder if anyone has had similar experiences.

Yes I have the same in one of the baby classes I attend, but ithey are all shocked at his age as he is small, but he was walking at 10months and has started doing things early. The ladies who run the session mentioned that he would maybe be better in the toddler group as he is "advanced" and doesn't want to play like the other babies his age. I hate the word advanced he us just doing his own thing at his own pace, but a lot of the mums look and even whisper when we go in.

The majority tend not to engage and when they do its with passive aggressive comments, we just ignore them and my son enjoys his time there. A couple of the mums there who have spoke with me, tell me it's just jealousy and not to be worried. I though mums should all stick together and help eachother , how naive I was.

I would say it is probably absolutely nothing to do with your DS.... or you for that matter.

Playgroups can be quite cliquey and a lot of times, mum's tend to go with other mum friends.

I used to feel like this with my first DD but as time went on, I would find myself chatting to other mums.

TBH, it's been MUCH easier with my second DD (2) but that's because since DD1 (5) now attends full time school, I have met lots of other mums with younger children similar age to my DD2 and now we go to playgroups and soft play together.

It does get easier though.

People are just crazy shy, talk to every one and be super friendly and inclusive eventually someone will break ranks and talk to you. On the whole I find rude people talk to me far to gad damn much, quite and shy people ignore everyone.

I doubt it has anything to do with you or your son. The parents are most likely busy watching their own kids/ very tired or happy just to talk to people they know. I certainly don't feel a child being taller or more 'advanced' than mine would make me ignore the mother. All of the children will be 'advanced' in their own way and all will be walking soon too. I hope you find a nice group, I know it's hard going to a group who seem so unfriendly. I always try to find something nice about the other parents child I can compliment ( something I genuinely notice and like about them such as eyes, temperament etc) and I find this helps to break the ice. Good luck

My son is older now but I want to say that I agree that Mums can snub others. Like the previous person said we are all mums so why does there have to be this vibe of snubbing??? I also have to say that when at school this doesn't get better!! When my son started I tried my best to say morning or smile to a lot of mums I didn't know and a lot of them forced a smile or ignored me in the future so very unfriendly! Are they scared? Unconfident? Just grumpy and rude? I have no idea but I know it grated on me. Now my son is older the issue is that he has got some friends at school and over the years I have invited kids for dinner and a play and there have been at least 2 kids where I have had them over 4 to 5 times and their mums do not reciprocate!! It is rude and annoys me. I invited one of my sons friends in July to got to Adventure golf. His mums nice and they live 1 mile up the road. I have been waiting the last 3 weeks of summer hols to receive an invitation for my son to go to their house or for the mum to take my son and hers out but so far nothing. I cannot keep giving and not receive anything in return for my son. I am so p*** off!!

Glad others have had some similar experiences. Maybe we will never know why some mums act like they do.

I've heard that it gets worse when they get to school! Dreading it already!

I have never found anything as awful as mother and toddler groups to be honest. Small minded and unfriendly.

School gate is a breeze!