2 Year Old - Now Won't Sleep, Up All Night - Please Help

[HelloBabba]

Hello. My two year old boy was previously a great sleeper. Went down at 7 (awake) and slept till anywhere between 6-7am. He also had one nap a day, at around 12.30/1, after his lunch and usually has a couple of hours.

However, for the past five or six weeks night time has become unbearable. He whinges when its time to go to bed and then asks either myself or my husband to sit next to him on the floor or sleep next to him.
This now can take up to two hours because if we try and sneak out he wakes and we have to start all over again. Once asleep, he then wakes, like clockwork, at around midnight and screams. The other night it took 3 hours (after i came home at midnight from a ten hour shift) to get him back to sleep. He wants to hold our hands or at least see us next to him. The he is full of energy again at around 6am.

Also, he can now climb out of his cot (which i was hoping wouldn't happen until he was nearer three) so for his safety we have turned his bed into a toddler bed. Now i expected this would be a difficult transition but the timing is awful as it's has to happened at the same time as the sleep problem.

I guess, what i am asking, is if any of you are going through similar or have gone through it? I have read there is a 2 year sleep regression have any of you come out the other side? Is this it? Hoping for some advice. Thank you x

Sounds like sleep terrors but I'm afraid I'm no expert, hopefully someone else will come along with more experience.

Thank you for your reply! The whole thing has completely thrown me. I feel like we have a newborn again except it feels harder.

Imo it's the sitting next to him to go to sleep which is causing the problem (alongside nightmares maybe) when he wakes and sees you have gone then he screams for you and wants to restart the process. I did a gradual retreat type thing (took a long time, no leaving to cry as it's not for me but consistently saying and doing the same thing each night) so explaining that you are going to sleep as well so you can't stay in his room, sitting gradually closer to the door (lights out, no conversation even if he gets up just put straight back in bed with a boring 'it's sleep time now') eventually say you will wait outside door and that you will check on him when he is asleep.
I also bought a night light of my son's choice which he has on all night (after I leave) and my daughter likes to fall asleep to the same CD every single night (she's almost 7!)

No nap is probably helpful and aim for a slightly earlier bedtime if possible..even if it first means you're taking two hours just earlier than before; if he's over tired it'll make it harder for him to settle.

If he wakes in the night offer water only. Say the same thing you say to him at bedtime and keep things dark, boring and predictable.

My 2.7 month old son is exactly the same. Almost identical in everything you describe from when it started to having to take the sides off the cot. I’ve posted on lots of threads about it over the past couple of weeks, it’s just awful and I feel constantly drained and knackered. He wakes at 5, won’t nap in the cot but falls asleep the second we get in the car. Last night he finally fell asleep at about 9 after we sat with him and then he was up at 2. Couldn’t get him back to sleep in his cot so he came in with me and my husband went in the spare room- we do this most nights now. No idea what to do now. Tried picking him up and putting him back into bed every time he gets our both at bedtime and during the night but he just screamed and cried for up to an hour and I just couldn’t take it...

Thank you all for your replies. We tried to do the rapid return but he would still cry and scream even though he would go straight back into bed - and at 2/3/4am i opted to sleep in the spare room where he could see me. This seems to be the only way at the moment for any of us to get any sleep but it's not ideal and not something we want long term. The sleep deprivation is so hard

Get him checked for an ear infection and uti. If both of those are negative, consider some sleep training

There’s a “language download” at about 2 and a half that causes sleep regression etc.

at 2/3/4am i opted to sleep in the spare room where he could see me. This seems to be the only way at the moment for any of us to get any sleep but it's not ideal and not something we want long term.

So ordinarily the adults in the house sleep together but the small developing child is seen as a nuisance if they need comfort and reassurance during the night.

Not meaning to be critical, but it might be worth assessing the impact of your expectations.

We had to move DS out of cot around 20 months which caused similar disruption and what we found helped (not for everyone) was to put a stair gate on his bedroom door (which oddly he never climbed over even though similar height to the cot). It seemed to create a feeling of safety and containment for him that the cot previously provided.

Also worth checking him for threadworm, as they are active at night and can cause itchiness that might be keeping him awake.

DS had night terrors and what worked for him was disturbing him slightly about an hour after he went to sleep initially. We did it for about a week. It broke his sleep cycle and he stopped having them.

this is a really great article attachmentparenting.co.uk/project/the-dangers-of-sleep-assumptions/