I am feeling very much like the most inadequate mother this morning

[emkana]

... after seeing threads on science books for 4 year olds and structured/planned music education for same age group.

I feel like an inadquate mother simply for being on mn at this time of day

OFGS Emkana, to quote Cod, The y ar fraeks

Good point.

Do you read to your kids? Do you sing to them or play music? Sorted

I saw the music one too.

I went and played nintendogs with my 3 year old

Me too. I was about to post asking: 'Am I the only lazy bint of a mother on MN that gets up on a Sunday morning and puts CBeebies on straight away so I can have a cuppa and read the papers in peace (rather than get stuck into some stimulating, educational family-oriented activities...)?'

This is the thread for me. I'm happy now.

DS is always in front of the telly on a weekend morning so we can have a bit of peace. And I nearly opened the music thread and then thought, no, it's Sunday morning. Why on earth would I want to spend sunday mornings stressing about DS's education when he's 6 FFS.

Thank God I'm not alone then.

Well we had Hi5 on this morning so that's the music bit sorted, followed by Come Outside which is ALWAYS very educational on a scientific subject - although I can't tell you what as I was in bed and my dc were watching it alone...

Filly is planning to home educate her children so she needs to be thinking about all this stuff now

I think it's a bit off to say that someone else's thread has made you feel like an inadequate mother, tbh

has it REALLY made you feel like that, or is it a bit of a dig?

Came back to apologise as I realised that I may have read your OP the wrong way, emkana, and that you truly might be feeling inadequate

if that is the case, what is it that you're worried about? Do you think your children aren't getting enough educational stuff? I bet they go to nursery and school etc, whereas Filly doesn't really do the nursery and school thing

If like me you believe that activities like this are lovely but not in any way a necessity then I don't believe there is any need to feel inadequate

Sorry to be snappy originally but I did feel like your OP singled out Filly's two threads, and might make people less likely to ask for the sort of information that she was after in future.

I'm glad you came back to this Franny. Filly's OP on the music thread said nothing about home educating and now you've mentioned it, it makes more sense to me.

In the absence of that knowledge, I can see why people (me included) would feel like we we'rent going into the same level of thinking behind our children's education, and might be a bit rubbish about it.

Further to my last post, my DD showed me how nintendogs worked this morning

but but but -

surely either you think what Filly is doing is necessary, and therefore her thread would give you a bit of a kick up the arse to actually get on with it, or you think it's just a nice extra, in which case good luck to her

I don't see why in either case it makes anyone feel BAD that someone ELSE is doing more than you choose to do - unless you think you really should be doing the same, in which case, DO IT

I just think "Lucky Filly's kids" and then pinch some of her ideas It doesn't make me feel depressed.

I agree with you

but...throw lots of sleepless nights into the mix. Stir in a new baby and a DH who's away a lot and then all of a sudden you cook up a recipe for exasperation. It's not always as easy as go DO IT.

And also remember that someone's interpretation to a thread on MN is always directly linked to how they feel at the time of reading, not necessarily the subject of the thread.

This morning I was tired, hormonal and very fed up so I shared emkana's sentiment. This afternoon DH has cooked me a lovely lunch, we've all been out as a family for a walk in the woods where DH has collected leaves and various unidentifiable things, and I feel ok, so I can see the thread for what it was. A very sensible mother looking into the education of her children. Surely you can see that?

lol. DD has collected....

"someone's interpretation to a thread on MN is always directly linked to how they feel at the time of reading, not necessarily the subject of the thread."

ah yes yes I can see all that

but the way some posts were worded I think Fillyjonk would quite possibly feel upset by this thread (she won't though because she is too sensible, hah, but I might)

another way of talking about it might have been something like "what do you think preschool children need in the way of educational stuff and does it make you feel inadequate if you aren't doing xyz?"

Anyway emkana and everyone else I am sure you are all FAB mothers now stop worriting

Sorry have been away from MN all day.

FandZ I hesitated before starting this thread because I could see that it might be regarded as offensive to filly, which it was no way meant it to be. I didn't know about the HE thing, so that makes sense then.

GlassSlipper has already put it very well, it's not so easy to just say do it, as you might know, I have three children, with the youngest being just under one, and chronically ill. I try my very hardest to give them all the dreaded "quality time", and I feel I am doing well when I get through the day having done some activities of sorts with all three of them, together and seperately if possible. But those activities are by no means as planned and thought through as filly's are aiming to be, and because I didn't know about the HE thing I really did feel this morning that my children might be getting the short end of the stick.

Emkana, sounds like you've got your hands full there.

This time last year my kids were 1 and 2 and I felt like a crap mam on a daily basis as I really struggled to get through the days.

I wasn't a MNer then but friends and family used to say 'enjoy them while they're young', 'they grow up so fast' and other helpful twaddle which just made me feel worse.

Now they're a bit older and I enjoy doing things with them and I wish I'd been easier on myself in the past.

I bet you're a lovely mummy to you're 3.

I feel I need to keep bumping this so that filly and FandZ in particular take note of my explanation and know that I didn't mean to offend.

Or is that silly?

LOL no I am sorry that you feel the need to....etc etc

(I don't know if Filly has even seen this Emkana. I wouldn't fret)

No the "just do it" comment was a bit crap, but you know what I mean, if you feel something is missing from your children's lives, REALLY, then you either have to find a way to give it to them or accept that you are concentrating on other, more important things

don't waste time comparing other people's lives to yours because there will always be someone who can make you feel inadequate if you are in that kind of mood

I hope you could see where I was coming from and that I didn't intend to offend you

not at all, not at all

good good