Who am I?

[Twinkletwinklelittlefish]

Just that really. Wondered if anyone had any words of wisdom. I love my little boy so much but I feel really confused about who I am nowadays. I hate my postpartum body and finding it really hard to do anything about it as I don’t have time to myself away from baby to exercise. I’m having to give up my job because it doesn’t pay enough to cover childcare and travel, so I won’t have that part of my identity any more, although when I did try to work I hated having to put him in nursery too. Hardly ever have sex any more, don’t feel sexy and rarely have time to spend together as so exhausted and still feel not right after the birth (but nothing specific to get help with really). Can’t do many of the things I used to enjoy because I have a baby to look after. Tired all the time because he doesn’t sleep well. Feel panicky at the idea of having another baby. Does it get better?

Ps. I don’t think I’m depressed... I am functioning ok day to day. I suppose I just feel lost

Sorry you're feeling low atm. It's not the easiest of times is it.

Could you put your son in the pram and go for long walks, it'll do you both good doing that. Body and mind.

It does get easier, hang on in there. Best wishes.

Yes and no. How old is your baby?

I'll be honest, I've struggled with this a lot because I had 2 close together. I felt like as soon as I started getting some normality after my first I was pregnant again with second.

After having my second I've really struggled with my sense of identity and I've been guilty of neglecting my own needs, putting myself last and generally running myself into the ground. It's only really now after having a breakdown earlier this year that I've learned the hard way to out myself first.

Part of it is about accepting the old you is gone. But you can still make time for things you enjoy etc. It does involve a lot logistically, either with a babysitter or childcare etc or taking baby with you. I'd say start small, what's one little thing you can do just for you each day?

Thanks for your replies. I think I am still mourning for the old me and not ready to accept it’s gone yet. Perhaps I need to focus on that

Focusing on the here and now, trying to see the positives, moving forward, other than looking back is best IMO.