Confused about how I feel! Help!

[Bluemoon88]

I need somewhere to get my thoughts out as this is constantly going round and round my mind. I cannot decide whether I want to go ahead with a 3rd child or not. I've got DS (6 in two weeks) and DD (3). The plan was always to have at least 3 children, but we find our 2 extremely hard work. They are both extroverted, demanding, stubborn, spirited children (but lovely!) I'm constantly exhausted and so is my husband. He works long hours and is away a lot and I've just got a new job working between school hours 2 days a week. About a year ago we decided 2 was enough for us because they are so FULL ON. However my heart aches for a baby sometimes. I love the baby stage and the thought of never being pregnant, breastfeeding or holding my own newborn again makes me so sad. At the same time my daughter is about to get her 15 hours funding for nursery and childcare will be affordable. I've just got a job and studying a course as well so now wouldn't be the right time but I'm thinking about babies all the time! I love watching any programmes that involve or are about babies. I'm shattered and feel like a 3rd may tip me over the edge though as I become shouty horrible mummy often with my other 2 so sleep deprivation on top would be even worse! You can see how confused I am lol!!! I just needed somewhere to vent all this really. If anyone's bothered to read this please do comment your thoughts. Tia

Just read your post. Only you can decide what to do. For what it's worth it sounds like you like the idea of having a third child but know the reality will be very hard - I guess it's a head and heart situation.
I always thought I wanted three kids at the moment we only have one but definitely want a second - i have changed my mind on a third though - neither DH or I want to be outnumbered and I like you don't want to be a shouty mum if I can help it.
I'm sure you will do what is right for you and your family.
Sorry I'm not much help.

I am currently pregnant with number 3 but am the complete opposite to you... I really really don’t enjoy the newborn/baby stage but now they’re 4 and 3 they’re (generally) a dream. We decided to have another because we wanted a bigger family, not because we wanted another baby if you see what I mean.
It sounds as though you’re running on empty as it is. How old are you? Can you wait a while before making a decision?

I turned 30 this year so I guess I can wait, but then I think about the age gap and whether the 3rd would be left out because the others are closer in age. We had an extension built on our house with an extra bedroom built particularly for an extra child. We decided that would just become a storage/spare room but I can't help looking at it thinking it's meant for a child. I love the baby stage but I'm not so good with the toddler stage tbh. Once they get to about 2-2.5 I find myself struggling to find the patience for the tantrums that come with the terrible 2's, once they get to age 5 it's nice again lol. Thank you both for your responses! I really appreciate it.