I'm loosing my mind with screaming!

[Poppy1989]

Every day... I question my ability to be a good mum. Every day he screams and screams like I'm the worst person in the world.
I breast feed and my days sitting on the sofa for hours, unable to move or he screams, can't eat or drink enough, can't shower, can't sleep! I'm at my lowest!

I have tried to explain this to sooo many people including health visitor and doctors who all just say it will pass.

Everyday I cry my eyes out and get so upset and down beacuse I feel usless and that I can't do this!!
My baby doesn't settle with me, doesn't want a cuddle... just screams beacuse he wants to feed... even though he's not feeding!! My breasts and nipples are so sore from him constantly being on them!!

I have tried pumping but it then takes ages for him to take breast again!

I feel so usless and so upset. I just want 24 hours where I don't feel so rubbish.

Have you thought about formula? You might have had your heart set on breastfeeding but if it's affecting your mental health then maybe it's time to change...

How old is your baby?

I think you should see some kind of breastfeeding specialist in case there’s some issue with his latch and he’s struggling to get enough milk (our surgery send out a breastfeeding support worker for 2 home visits but if you don’t have this, try local breastfeeding groups or maybe a lactation consultant).

And massive hug, because motherhood is bloody knackering.

How old is your little one?
I had this with my Ds until he was 8 weeks.. I actually went deaf in one ear from stress because of it.
I promise you it will get better?
Can you put your little one in a sling or a pram or the garden?

You've make a pretty heroic effort. Now give yourself a break and use formula.

It’s the only advise they can give “it will pass”. You’ll probably say it to other people one day. Just know you are not alone. Many Mums have been through this. If anyone heard me describing having a newborn they’re think I was evil. I loved him and enjoyed it too but Jesus there were days I felt on deaths door and the shock of this constant needy thing that completely took over my life was incredible.

I used to turn up crying on my Mums doorstep on a bad day and I’d say “ I can’t do this any Mum”
Being the straight talking family we are shed laugh and say “Don’t be ridiculous, what you gonna do, get him adopted? You have no choice but to do it now pull yourself together” harsh but true.

It will be OK, it does get easier I promise xx

Have you tried going for a walk with the pram? Chances are your baby will sleep most of it.

How old is your baby? By 4/6 months that constant feeding will not be as bad. The cluster feeding etc will usually be over by then and you’ll definitely be in more of a pattern. I know that seems like ages but I remember feeling like it would NEVER end. Never seen many breast feeding, non sleeping, screaming 10 yr olds but my erratic mind couldn’t resonate that. I felt that was my life FOREVER.

Give him some formula. It will change everything. I put up with the screaming for 7 weeks and nearly lost my mind. My mum saw this, stepped in and gave him some formula when i was asleep one afternoon. I never looked back. Don't punish yourself about BF!

Also do you have some one handed drinks and snacks. In an ideal world you would be eating healthily but at this point you have to just eat what you can.

Hi Poppy, I am sorry you are going through this. My little girl used to scream constantly too. In the end I filmed it on my iPad so that I could show the health visitor how awful it was (as she only ever slept when professionals visited). My little girl was diagnosed with reflux at 6 weeks and prescribed ranitidine which helped to settle her although it took a few weeks to start working and she needed the dose increased.
It feels so long ago now and my little one has just turned 9 months but it was horrendous at the time. I felt like the worse mum in the world and thought I had made a horrendous mistake in having a child. What I found helped was:
being able to leave her with my mum for a couple of hours so I could go out for a walk, I would breast feed her then leave the house then be back 2 hours later to feed her again. My mum wasn't as upset by the crying as I was and had more patience as she wasn't knackered.
My friend lent me a sleepy head deluxe and I would lay her in there and lie next to her in the bed. She would scream and thrash whether I was holding her or not and this meant I had a safe padded area to put her when I couldn't hold her any longer. At times I would fall asleep next to her even though she was still screaming.
Try a dummy, I did even though I was exclusively breastfeeding and very anti dummy. My little girl wouldn't take it but it might work for you and give your nipples a rest. Also try nipple shields if you aren't already using them.
When things got really bad I would put her in a cot in another room for a while (I could still hear her crying so I knew she was okay but it wasn't so loud and I would tell myself she is clean, warm, dry and fed)
I would watch telly with subtitles as this sometimes helped me to zone out.
I had some horrendous thoughts about harming my child at times just to stop her crying but I never acted on these. It might be worth having the phone number of the Samaritans on hand so you can give them a call.
I hated people telling me it will pass too as it felt never ending when I was in the thick of it but you can get through it and being a mum will become enjoyable again.
I hope this helps, you aren't alone and have a big hug from me.

You’re doing an amazing job. How old is your baby? Babies do feed constantly when they’re tiny. I recorded my DS’s feeding on an app on my phone and up to 6 hours a day wasn’t uncommon in those early newborn days.

Babies don’t always go to the breast to feed - they go for warmth, comfort, sleep, because they’re in pain, because they’re feeling overwhelmed... the list goes on! It may not seem that you cannot comfort your baby but you ARE simply by being there to offer your breast when your baby asks and I completely understand that it feels like that’s all you have to offer your baby - I’ve been there not too long ago. If you are determined to breastfeed, keep at it, it will be worth it, it does get so much easier. Don’t, however, rule out formula if you feel that would better suit you and your baby but rest assured you are doing a fantastic job breastfeeding your little one.

I would repeat to your health visitor that it is not passing and you cannot continue this way. Feeling sad is entirely normal but if you feel like it’s gone further then push it - and well done for already being so open and honest with them.

I would also consider reflux for the screaming - look for signs as if in pain after or during feeding, arching back etc. Newborns scream a lot but you want to rule that out.

Keep going. The newborn days are dark and long but they do end and when looking back it seems like the quickest of times. I wis you all the best x

It's not normal. Could be tongue tie or silent reflux. Make a fuss, get it checked and checked again.

Just give him a bottle

My DS1 was like this. He was born heavy and was a glutton. I couldn't satisfy him with breast milk.
Once on formula he was a different boy and we bonded so much better.

If you want to, that is

I just meant I felt such pressure to succeed in feeding him that I wasn't enjoying him. It took the pressure off x

I would also suggest trying him on formula.

I put up with the screaming for 5 months. It nearly drove me to insanity.

As soon as I tried formula he was a different baby. He was finally satisfied and had been screaming through hunger.