DD is a dream when anyone but ME puts her to bed - help help help :(

[mothballs]

DD 2.5 has always been relevatively good when I put her to bed, and as DH often works late, it is usually me who does the nightime routine etc. But for the last 2 weeks when only I put her to bed, it takes around an hour of her crying when i leave the room, her tactics are:
1 - throwing dummy out "mummy mummy dropped my dummy, help me please. please help...
2- un tucking duvet and screaming ' help mummy help mummy more tuck in more tuck in'
3- 'please mummy, non nights kiss again. please more kiss please please'

if i just leave her, she gets into a real state and can go on crying for over an hour so i just dont think leaving her is the answer, but at the same time when i go back she knows she is winning my attention, argh.
This is now happening at her afternoon nap as well, its just taken me 1hr45 mins to get her settled, stop buggering about and actually go to sleep. DH had a day off yesterday whilst i popped out and she was a dream at both nap time and evening. DD goes down fine for everyone else when i am not here. Why is this? Please offer advice on how to deal with this its driving me crazy and a nap time today i really lost it and screamed at her

can i add nothing in our daily life/routine has altered to spark this kind of behaviour.

Concentrate on the bedtime routine, as afternoon nap will be phased out in due course.

Explain the bedtime routine to her, just to reinforce that at the end of the routine she is in bed and is expected to go to sleep.

1 - sounds like a delay tactic... retrieve it on the first occasion, tell her that if she throws it out again she won't have the dummy, and if she does throw it again, remove the dummy.

2 - ignore it, delaying tactic again. Does she need a duvet - it's getting hot now now that summer is here.

3 - more delay. Stick with the routine.

Do you shut her bedroom door? If so, sit outside the door - so when she kicks up a fuss, all you need do is open the door (while still sitting on the floor if possible), to show her that you are still there. Avoid having conversation with her. If you must say something, say "night time - sleep now" and then close the door again.

Good luck, sounds as if she is testing you.

How did last night go... any better?

agree with Nanny, you are giving her attention so she will keep doing it. Can you get one of those "soother savers" that attach the dummy to her or as Nanny says if she keeps lobbing it out of bed take it off her, if she settles without it now might be a good time to get rid of it (no judgement my DS2 has dummy too)

Go in to her but be as dull as dishwater, you only need to tell her it is bedtime a maximum of 2 times and she knows it is. So after that it is complete silence and try to just open the door and stay there rather than going in. Avoid eye contact and think to yourself all the time you are doing it "I am in charge and I will win"

thanks for your advice, I have tried the tips since last saturday and things have gone so much better (have had sinus infection which was why i havent posted earlier!!), like you say DD was getting attention from me qwhen she played up. I haveavioded eye contact and have refrained from taking to her and this has worked an absolute miracle, alongside just opening the door standing there and then closing it again so she knows i am there but shes not getting any attention once down and in bed for the night... thanks so much for the tips