Going stir crazy

[Lilbeth1986]

Hi all,
I just feel a bit overwhelmed!My baby is 12 weeks old and I’m a FTM.He has acid reflux which he’s medicated for but it still causes him discomfort.He is also just a generally colicky baby.(Not only me that thinks this but people I know who say their babies were ‘much easier’🙄)He’s been checked over by the GP who says this is just a phase and he will grow out of it and be a bit happier eventually!I am really proud of how I’ve coped so far especially seen as I have no family locally.He doesn’t sleep great most nights and I do all the night feeding as my husband works full time.I am trying to get out of the house but am finding this really difficult,mainly because my baby cries so much!He’s not mad keen on the car seat and although he falls asleep when we’re driving sometimes,he wakes up and screams when we stop.I try and walk round the area where I live with the pram on the days we don’t go in the car but again this is hit and miss.
I’m quite an anxious person generally tbh and I think it’s more the thought that people will judge me for how much he screams and that this will stress me out.Its starting to make me stay in so I dont have to deal with it!
Do you think the screaming is just a phase?Any tips?

Sorry for the essay!!!🙈

I always say this on all of the posts like this I see, but have you considered cows milk protein allergy as a cause of the colic?

I have wonderful memories of poor DH pushing a screaming DC around the garden at midnight- he just wouldn’t settle at all! I stopped all dairy and I had a new baby. It was such a relief!

I could have written this. Today has been very hard and I'm crying as much as DD. Not much help sorry but you're not alone 💔

Also, re the screaming in public. Honestly don’t let that stop you. It doesn’t feel like it, but most other parents will understand what you’re dealing with, and relate to it. Some will even try and help you. And if they don’t then that is quite honestly their problem, not yours.

I had/have severe anxiety and my HV was very supportive. Have you spoken to yours? And if they aren’t helpful you can self refer to homestart. They can send a volunteer to help you get out of the house. Mine was invaluable!

Don’t be afraid to ask for help and to take it when it’s offered!

Sorry you’re struggling too counter

It really does help to know you’re not alone.

(Also, imho colic is a load of shit. There’s something wrong with the kid, and doctors just explain it away with “oh it’s a touch of colic” because they’re not bloody dealing with it! It’s a nightmare which will push anyone to their limit, and you should have as much support as you need!!! Rant over. It really winds me up!)

We've tried multiple medications and still our baby screams and is projectile. Have been told the referral time for a paediatrician is 3 months ☹️☹️

Zero compassion from any doctor I've seen. They just say lots of babies have reflux. Not like this though!! You just want to shake people when they say that. Our DD has colic too and at times she has cried for 12 hours with nothing helping her.

Have you a sling?

Thanks everyone,sorry you are going through this too Counter27. Yes Foggymist I have just this week invested in a baby carrier.Tried a sling which didn’t work for us.I’ve heard they are a little bit like bras,you just have to find the right one that suits you!
Nothing quite prepares you for all this when you’re pregnant does it?!

By sling I just meant carrier really, they're great for calming baby and giving you free hands once they're a good ergonomic one.

Lilbeth I have one of these too, she's 9 weeks! Her older sister was the same. It does get better, I promise.

Honestly people will care way less than you think they will. The only comments I ever got the first time round out and about were along the lines of "Ooh, someone's a bit grumpy today!" said kindly, not judgementally. Most people didn't notice, or at least pretended not to out of sympathy!

Build yourself up gradually - go to a cafe for a hot drink and take it on your walk with you, then next time drink it in, then try for a lunch etc etc. Shopping centres that have a family room are great - you can look at stuff in the shops that interests you and then if it all goes to shit, you still have a place to feed/calm them where you won't feel so self conscious. If I had to go to an appointment or run an errand with DD1, I'd often throw my BF pillow into the car so I had a back-up "retreat" if things went bad.

This time around, I haven't bothered with any of that because frankly I am too tired to care

Have you tried never lying your bay flat?

The muscle in their stomach hasn't quite closed and is causing acid to burn so they stop screaming you lay them flat and the acid burns again

This closes around 6 months when they sit up

Try a blanket under their coat matress use a pillow for a pot changes keep upright for ar least 20 mins after a feed

A couple of days and they sleep better and are a lot less grumpy

Make sure you join some mother and baby groups..you need that support.