My partner doesn't want another baby

[Sj2608]

My partner has decided he doesnt want anymore kids. When we got together he had a 2 year old and before i was introduced to his son. i explained to him how important marrage and kids were to me. He agreed hed marry me one day and we settled on 2 more kids. 3 years down the line he tells me hes never going to marry me and he just said that part to keep me. But at this point we were a family and being married wasnt as important as them. So 2 years ago we had our son, which hasnt been an easy 2 year, we suspect he has asd waiting on an assesement currently. Now when people ask if were having more ill say yes and he goes straight to no. So i asked him one night when we were alone if he was being serious and he was. Knowing how important having lots of kids is to me, he didnt even sit me down and explain he told me infront of everyone. Then he'll just say if its that important to you go find someone who'll give you that like its that simple. He blames my son for not wanting anymore because of "how he is" ive tried my hardest to let go of wanting another baby its been over a year now and the want is still so strong and its making my depression worse. Would leaving him to go after what i want and splitting our family up make me the bad person? Or should i stay and make yet another sacrifice ?

Leave him! Happiness comes first, you may get married and have another child, or you may not. But at least you won’t have to stay with somebody who doesn’t care what you feel and didn’t even have the decency to tell you how he was feeling until you asked. It’s okay for him to not want more children though, and to not want to get married, but he shouldn’t hold you back.

More so than the baby, you need someone who respects you and your wants.

He has deceived you cruelly and I’d think it unforgivable. He has been entirely false with you, lead you on and promised things he never had any intention of fulfilling. I think resentment will grow for you if you stay and will eventually ruin the relationship anyway.

He's not wrong to not want more children. An agreement you made before you had any children does not have to stand into the future - anyone can decide that they are finished having children at any time, and there is no need to justify it. You had admitted that it has been a difficult couple of years with your existing son, and he already has a child from a previous relationship. I can see why he does not want more.

You would not be unreasonable to leave, but you would be unreasonable to assume that having babies will put a stopper on your depression, or cure it.

6He's not wrong to not want more children. An agreement you made before you had any children does not have to stand into the future - anyone can decide that they are finished having children at any time, and there is no need to justify it. You had admitted that it has been a difficult couple of years with your existing son, and he already has a child from a previous relationship. I can see why he does not want more.

Only you can decide if it is a deal breaker for you.

Thanks for the replies. I know it his decision its more how he went about it that hurt me and hes not even willing to consider how much i want another and the way he just says go find someone else if you want more kids like its that easy to walk away from a 7 year relationship . I consider his oldest my son too, he lives with us and ive brought him up from when he was 2 yo. So leaving would mean splitting brothers up aswel and leaving one of my sons. I dont want our family to be broken just dont know if i can let this go and not resent him later for it.

Yes I think that while his choice is reasonable, the way he has treated you is not. He has been callous and unkind. Perhaps he feels guilty.
Very difficult for you but your choice is to stay with him, or to leave and have more children.

Leave him.

He filled you with empty promises when you met and has gone back on them all. You won’t feel satisfied with one child and life is too short to stay in a situation that doesn’t make you happy or fulfilled.

For me having a second baby was more important to my long term wellbeing than my relationship. Not a great statement but a fact. Husband didn’t want another (his fourth) but he wanted me to have this. If he had said no I suspect I would have struggled to stay with him.

For goodness sakes don"t make sacrifices. There's nothing worse than being sacrificial and knowing it.

Your partner doesn't want any more children so don't have another one, simple. He also won't marry you after saying he would so he is hardly a man of his word.

Ditch him.