DD is 15 months and has been going to her childminder since she was 8 months.
In the first few weeks she was very needy when she was there and only happy if the CM was holding her or at least directly engaging with her. CM was reluctant to leave her crying but after a few weeks I insisted and said she was going to have to as otherwise DD would learn that if she cried the CM would pick her up, which isn't practical when the childminder needs to be giving the other children attention too. This worked and everything settled down and DD has been happy there.
Now we seem to be back to square one and DD is crying whenever the CM diverts her attention to another child. I've said that we need to be fairly tough on this again and that CM needs to get on with other things and DD will learn that she can't have CM's undivided attention. DD is making CM's life hard work and the other children are sick of hearing DD shouting/crying (she's more angry shouting than distressed crying).
I'm finding the situation very stressful. Obviously, I want DD to be happy, I want the CM to be happy, and I need to get on with my work. I constantly feel under threat that I'll have to go and collect DD early or that the CM will decide to stop having DD. It's also an unpleasant feeling knowing that the other children think she is a pain in the backside!
It's weird because she's generally a very happy, confident toddler and is well used to being with other children and to being looked after by other adults. For example, I recently left her overnight for the first time with my brother's family (who DD doesn't know as well as she knows the CM!) and she had a lovely time.
I am a single parent, so DD is well used to having to occupy herself while I get on with household stuff and occasionally with work (I'm self-employed) while she plays happily on her own. She'll happily be left for 20 minutes on her own while I have a shower and sometimes for a lot longer as she is very happy pottering about looking and books and toys while I'm cooking or whatever.
Having invested all these months on settling DD with this childminder, who I absolutely trust, I really want this to work.
I don't know what I'm asking really but does anyone have any experience of this or any advice?