Should partner pay?

[Mummyofone18]

I am currently on my 5th month of maternity and am really struggling financially with the amount of money I am earning. I get the statutory maternity pay monthly which is just about enough to pay all of my outgoings let alone swimming lessons for baby, sensory class, yoga class etc this is even without travel, yogurts, porridge, baby juice, clothes, nappies and all other essentials. The agreement with OH was that he would go shopping every week or every other and buy baby what he needs. I have tried to explain to him that one day he is ok the next he may need this or that. My mum said he should really be giving me an allowance every week/month so I can pay for me and baby to do things, I have the money when I’m out to buy the things he needs or any extras etc. I have told him that I will be needing some money especially as it is half term and all of his classes bar swimming aren’t on for the next 6 weeks and we are going to be doing different things and of course nothing is free! So last night after days of me mentioning it he gave me £50 to last me to the end of the month. Is this reasonable? Should I be asking him for money, Can I just say we are still very much together so it’s not as if I am expecting any sort of child maintenance. He is also on a good wage and is left around £600 to himself! Do any of your partners give you any money to help out while your staying home with baby?

Get yourself onto the CSA website and that will calculate the minimum he will have to pay in maintenance if you leave. It will give him a shock. Suggest going back full time and see what he says.

These threads come up all the time and I can never get my head around how women get themselves into these situations. How much did you both calculate it would cost?
Did he tell you he was expecting you to survive, continue to pay your half of the bills, and pay everything for your child?

Ultimately a baby is a joint responsibility, so yes he should pay. Going from full time to two days is a significant pay drop, you cannot continue to contribute equally it just doesn't work. He either needs to take on more of the bills or you both do the math and he sends you regular amounts so you can afford to live too.

You’d be a fool to only work two days a week with a miserable tight arse for a partner and no security of marriage.

I will only be going back two days mad or not I would rather spend time with my child than sitting at a desk at work

In that case would you consider getting married? Otherwise you'll be in a financially vulnerable position if you ever split up.

DP and I have joint finances. We have separate bank accounts but he pays half of the mortgage, half of the council tax, his phone bill, the car (he uses it more than me), TV licence and Netflix/amazon prime. I pay half the mortgage and council tax, water, gas and electric. We also split the food so I pay two weeks a month, he pays the other two. It all evens out to equal a similar amount then whatever is left just goes on whatever we want/need that month. If it’s something large we will discuss options together but for smaller things like baby classes as you were mentioning or clothes, we just get it.

We have saved in preparation for my mat leave which commences end of this month but there’s no way I would be accepting an allowance from him . What’s mine is his and vice versa.

He can’t like you or the child very much if he resents giving any money.
Can you imagine treating your baby and partner like that?! He’s a shit dad and a shit partner.

Going back to work full time and/or leaving the relationship would probably be wise.

OP you need to sort this - at the moment its not fair on you or your child

If this financial problem is the only one and he is a good dad and partner otherwise I suggest you have a stern and serious conversation about how this goes forward.
My hubby and I have separate bank accounts and a joint household one, before our DS we both paid a set amount into the household account and spent whatever out of our own personal accounts, we then wanted a baby so discussed it and he would take over all the bills and give me and DS an amount in cash each week. While I was receiving my maternity allowance it got paid into my account to spend as I Seen fit.
If we need any large value items he mainly purchases them, but I have savings in my personal account that I will also use if I see that's fair, I don't expect all if the financial burden to be on him when I have savings, I have nothing to prove and certain don't feel like their is a bigger fight for women I need to have. We have equality in our marriage whatever that dynamic us.
It works fine for me to get an amount off hubby each week, I am in no power struggle, I am happy and content in my own skin and my marriage. I feel no less of a contributor in our relationship because I get an "allowance", if you can get to an amount that both of you agree on, going forward you should be able to raise your child in a happy environment.

It is a shock at how much babies cost but all the extra bits are additional costs a baby technically just needs to be fed dry and happy. I agree with you and trying to be at home with your LO. I find Staying at home with DS is great and I am lucky enough to be able to stay off until he goes to school, then I have decided to give up my career, as it us stressful with long Hhours to maybe being a dinnerladie or something that fits around DS and school ( oh how DS has changed me and I love it lol )

My partner pays for anything DS needs. There's not even a question about it.
Why does he think he shouldn't pay for his child to be fed, clothed?