Has anyone felt overwhelmed with their kids - how did it turn out?

[Abouttime1978]

Be got three kids under 6, and I feel like I'm coping by the skin of my teeth.

I've been assessed for depression and I don't appear to be. I've tried several antidepressants and none of them appear to make any difference.

I'm just overwhelmed. I've felt like this since my third pregnancy.

I love my kids but think I've totally bitten off more than I can chew.

I'm inpatient and frustrated that I'm always shouting or counting down the hours until bedtime.

I have three great kids who I love, I just feel like I'm not doing that great a job.

I'm grumpy and wound up all the time and I'm driving myself up the wall as much as anyone else.

I'm desperately hoping it because they are all still quite young (youngest is 18 months) and that things will settle down but I'm so scared that it won't and that I'm just going to struggle as a parent.

Help!

OP, I have one child and I feel overwhelmed sometimes so I can't imagine how you feel. I think it's normal and I think I hope that it might get easier when they get bigger.

Hey OP, I completely get where you’re coming from. I’ve got 3 aged 6,4 and 8 months. I’m struggling this summer holidays. The older two seem to enjoy winding me up or at least that’s how it feels. My 4yo is mature for his age but uses this to his advantage and I often feel as though I’m being outwitted by him..!
I feel like truly none of us know what it’s like to have kids till it happens and I do think it changes as they age. Not necessarily easier but different needs and priorities and at least older kids can entertain themselves a bit more. Who knows. I hate the shouty mum I’ve become and I hope they remember the good times too.
Anyway sorry for hijacking your thread.! But it struck a chord with me. Hope you’ve had a better day today.

A lot of us have been there and know how you are feeling. It does pass - honestly. Mine are adults now and are lovely and amazingly survived unscathed my frazzled parenting. I am sure that yours will as well.

Struck a cord with me too. I have to face up to the fact that I am a shit mum and I am sure that they will shoot me down with loads of ammunition about how crap I was when they are older. I am absolutely and in no way the person I want to be.

I just feel like I have no wording idea what I'm doing and I have no patience.

I also take on too much - prime example, I'm already Christmas shopping for the kids, it's August FFS!

I want to just relax but I can't. Eugh just drives me crazy. We should have to pass a test to have kids xx

The one thing I learnt was to embrace the chaos. I have 3ds (12,10 and8) and still sometimes feel overwhelmed however I know that I can get through it - I have before and just accept that life is basically chaos!

I have 3 (8, 6 and 2) and feel like I get through each day by the skin of of my teeth. I start the day as a perfect Pinterest mother and end the day by getting highly stressed and counting down to bedtime.

I wish I had more patience, I really do.

I am hoping it will get a bit easier when the two year old is older.

I'm on my 3rd baby and have massive gaps between them all. This time is so different and I'll admit I've often thought what the hell have I done!!
The kids are however, alive, fed and clean and reasonably well behaved. So that's something.
I get what you're saying about just wanting to relax, it's impossible, even when you're not directly with them it's constant planning for them etc.
You're doing fab

Of course.
Don't all parents ?

Mine are grown now (youngest is 16) and it is wonderful.
Not saying you wait that long - it just gradually gets easier and easier as they gradually become more independent..... able to dress themselves / feed themselves / bath or shower themselves / etc., etc., etc.
Everything in life is easier once you return to having a full night of sleep, every night. Sleep deprivation is a recognised form of torture.

Par the course. I'm utterly frazzled most days. It's easier going to work!

Agree with back for good on the sleep deprivation thing.

I can do anything on 8 hours. ANYTHING!

Absolutely understand and also sympathies with you.
I have almost 4 year old twins. Boy and girl. They're lovely and sweet but I'm sooo tired and feeling...ehm...kind of empty inside, like a walking zombie, but that's sounds terrible I know.😬
No family around and my son is incredibly lively child, from morning till evening. Also count hours to the bedtime.
But everybody says it will get better as they will be older.😅

IT GETS BETTER. It really does. I felt exactly the same way you do when my DCs are little. For me it was the relentlessness of the physical obligations: diaper changing, putting them in and out of the car, bathing, cleaning up after them, etc. But now my DCs are 9, 7, and 4, and they can do so many things independently - buckle themselves into the car, use the toilet, clean their teeth and get dressed (with some prodding), grab a snack, etc. My older two can shower alone,, make a sandwich, run to another part of the house and get something for me, and entertain themselves with a somewhat less explosive mess than they used to. They love being helpful and they are also so much fun to talk to. The tantrums are almost gone and I can actually reason with them (to a point). When we’re home I can sometimes sneak away take a shower and even sometimes read a book for 20 minutes.

They do of course whine and fight a LOT, and OMG the backchat. But I love talking with them and getting to know the people they are becoming. And the good news is they won’t remember their very early years anyway. Hang in there!

Do you know what I do now? I wake up at 5-5:30 before anyone else. I just lie in bed and have time to wake up gradually. Sometimes I can even sneak downstairs and have breakfast with the radio on before anyone wakes up. It's bliss.

I think just snatching a bit of time here and there for some self care makes a difference. I feel like I have hit a reset button and can tackle more mentally.

I think that as long as you love them and aren't harming them it will be fine, they won't care that you shouted at them for tipping their dinner on the floor etc

Things that help:
Going to work is a lovely child free rest
Meeting up with friends, 2 adults and 5/6 kids more fun than 1 with 3
Trying to get them to help me with chores e.g. Loading washing into machine, hoovering, tidying up toys, sorting washing into piles, helping with cooking - doesn't always work perfectly but it means I can get stuff done and keep them occupied.
Soft play: like a padded cell for toddlers