Toddler and a baby!

[ilz07]

I have a 7 week old baby and a 2 and half year old toddler. I didn't realise how hard juggling the both of them would be!
My 7 week old cries ALL the time, he only wants to me carried and if I put him down he just cries until I pick him up again, I don't know what to do as I don't want him to become reliant on the fact that I will always pick him up! Anyone else had this problem with a 7 week old bub? I have to stand with him and rock him or just walk around until he falls asleep again, I do use the sling but he cries as he wants to be held higher but then just tires himself out! He's a big baby so he eats ALOT he's breast fed but still gets topped up on formula and sometimes starts to suck my shoulder as if he's hungry but when I offer him the boob or bottle he's either not interested or over eats and vomits.. recently he's been waking up more in the night probably because of the heat but he's dribbling so much I wonder if maybe his teeth are troubling him or would it be way too early..

My toddler is really good with the baby but even she has outbursts now as she wants attention too (good or bad), it makes me feel awful that she may feel that the new baby has taken any of our love away from her. I've been really struggling with the two and hardly ever leave the house as the baby always cries and that makes me really anxious. My daughter goes to nursery a few hours a week so that helps me and she gets to be out of the house but unless someone is with me I'm just terrified to leave with them both. Anyone experience this or has any advice?

My partner works long hours and when he is home he sleeps as he's 'too tired'.. so it's pretty much me and the kids 24/7, I am finding is so emotionally and physically hard and didn't think I would struggle as much as I am especially as my first never ever cried! help

Have you ruled out reflux for the baby?

When I had my youngest (26 month gap), my youngest lived in the sling for the first 12 weeks. I also used a dummy which was a life saver as dd has tongue tie and silent reflux.

Also your partner needs to help. Long hours or not!

He had tongue tie which was cut about 2 weeks ago and the reflux cleared up in about a week, now he burps all the time and feeds fine (doesn't swallow any air).. they did give me reflux medicine which he's been getting less and less of as advised after getting the tongue tie sorted. But for some reason he refused to take the dummy, I try and give it to him and sometimes not very often, he will take it but spit out shortly after ..

My wee one had two teeth when he was 8 weeks don't rule out teething but also see about reflux as they want to feed to take away the pain but then makes it worse. Sending hugs

I'm be had the help me argument 100 times and it's just stress on top of my anxiety, I just can't be bothered for the same conversation over and over again.
If baby didn't cry then I think I would manage 100 times better but this is new territory for me

I'll definitely ask about the reflux again, my GP last week said as it's cleared up if he does have it it's would be every so slightly as the tongue tie is what caused.. didn't even know what tongue tie was until now

Worth checking that the tongue tie hasn’t reformed. My dd has tongue tie plus lip ties so her feeding meant she took down a lot of air and would be dreadful unless I winded her for 20 mins after each feed. Id have to wind gentle though - just rubbing her back, not patting.

I could have written this! Could be teeth. My 4 month old has just cut his first one. Other than that I can't really offer much advice I'm afraid. It does seem to be getting better though now he can roll. Perhaps it's frustration. My first was a major cryer so this one is actually easier but still bloody hard as there is now 2 of them to juggle. I find he cries far less when we are out so we go out at least once a day. Perhaps try that? Should cry less in the pushchair? It really does get easier. He's now going an hour between feeds usually (I know that's crap but he was attached to me permanently).

Also yes could be worth checking tongue tie again as my baby's had to be cut twice x

Can you get to a sling library session to get help with the sling? You may need to make a few adjustments to help your baby feel more comfortable in the sling. If you can nail the sling then it will honestly change your life as you can go about your toddlers routine and get out as normal (ish) with 2 hands free to deal with toddler.

Have you tried a dummy for baby? Might help him settle between feeds.

It is very very very normal for little babies to want to be held all the time (google 4th trimester). Re: constant feeding this could also be very normal. Lots of growth spurts in the early weeks and the hot weather will make babies thirsty a lots so will be after lots of small, frequent/constant feeds.

I've tried the material wrap and a normal sling, he does settle after a while but he like being over the shoulder a lot of the time. I don't know why but he just doesn't like a dummy I've tried all types of shapes and sizes and he just doesn't take to them, maybe he just a very clingy and fussy baby ..

7 weeks they should be asleep most of the time, so maybe it's overtiredness? If you can walk him in the sling until he falls asleep, your life will get easier - you can just wear him and then have two hands free to play with DD. At 7 weeks, mine just wanted to sleep, wake up and feed and then go back to sleep again.

Mine was like this at 7 weeks (though he took a dummy, thank fuck) so I just wore him for a month. After that he calmed down and was happier to be put down. It does get easier!

Your so lucky! Like now he's been awake for about almost 2 hours and I've been carrying him for the past 30 mins waiting for him to fall asleep, total killer on my back!

I feel your pain too. There's 16 months between my youngest 2. DD( the youngest) had tongue tie snipped at 13 days, upper lip tie and had bad reflux as well ( still has now at 14mths) DS was only 16mths old when DD was born so still v dependent on me. A sling was my saving grace, it took 4 different types of sling to find one that she was comfortable in and left me able to look after DS. It may be that regular reflux medication is needed, we tried 2 different ones to get one that worked, some are easier to give when ebf. A reflux pillow/tilted moses basket helped her to settle to sleep without being held. We also got a bouncy chair with adjustable recline and head support which was a life saver as well - would rock DD in chair with my foot whilst reading to/playing with / cuddles with DS
Have you tried topical teething medication, like bonjela or anbesol, even if you can't feel the teeth, it can still help.

Have you got any relatives or friends to give you a bit of respite, even if just evenings or weekends? Just even a few times?

Sympathies it is exhausting.

Oh gosh, that sounds like a hard time! I know it's meant to get easier but I feel like my routine everyday is the same and it's just not getting easier I feel slightly better that I'm not the only one, someone I just feel like wacking my head across the wall!
I actually started to use colief drops today from Holland and barrot and he was much more settled, he was able to lie down for about 20-30 mins at a time and just chill out, then cry after but by then he would be tired so getting him to sleep wasn't too bad. Since the tongue tie was cut his burping and gas has been pretty good and the medication they gave us he doesn't like so he spits out like 80% of it but so far the colief seems to be working so I'll see how that goes over the next few days!
I think he's just so fussy he only likes to be held on my shoulder if I hold him any other way, meltdown! So today I just put him in the material wrap sling, he cried for about 10 mins and then realised that it wasn't getting him nowhere and went to sleep. I feel like I'm certain situations I need to put my DD first as she also needs attention and I know he's fed and clean and has no gas so the tears are just because he wants attention and to be carried. He was a 10lbs baby too so carrying him all the time now he's 13lbs isn't the easiest
Just really need some peace and a glass of wine!

My mum comes round most days and I try and take a nap when she's here but it never happens! Today I got my toddler for a nap but baby work up about 1.30pm and didn't get a solid sleep until it was bed time at 7!!! He's just so interested in what's going on! As soon as u took him out of the sling his eyes popped open or he would only sleep for 15/20 mins then hear my DD playing and wake up. I must say he has really taken to her and she to him, she sings and plays with him which gives me some peace for 15 mins or so, it's crazy that my toddler is who's really getting me through this stage!