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Parenting

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Original poster

2.5 year age gap - thoughts

13 replies

ReginaPhalange89 · 03/08/2018 20:52

Hiya !

I'm currently TTC baby #3 . Both previous pregnancies were very quickly conceived. Baby #2 is 16 months old right now so all going well (if we're lucky enough again to fall pregnant quickly) we are hopefully going to have around a 2 and a half year gap.

Just wondering how others have found this gap ? There's 5 years between the 2 we already have so it was fairly easy.

I can't remember how old babies are when they stop using a buggy and all that sort of stuff! I'm assuming we won't need a double. Should be able to re use the pram, cot etc

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tappitytaptap · 03/08/2018 21:52

I am going to have this age gap in approx 9 weeks! I'm hoping to get away without a double pram and put baby in a sling for the first bit. DS still in a cot (took the sides off and he got out of bed 5 times a night) and the baby will go in a next to me then we'll try again with DS in a single bed.

Lightning88 · 03/08/2018 22:01

My oldest daughter was 33 months when our second was born, so a few months off this age gap you're thinking.

It's bloody hard work, but manageable. Things are getting a bit easier now that my youngest is getting into a routine, but it is tough, not gonna lie.

tiggykate · 03/08/2018 22:23

If it takes a few months to conceive it could be a blessing in disguise. The free childcare hours you get at 3 are a godsend when you are in the haze of newborn lack of sleep/routine! But how easy you find things also depends on their personalities. If my 2 had been born the other way around it would have been much easier. But is DS2 was my first he’d probably be an only child! (I wouldn’t change him for the world. I’m very blessed to have him).

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NataliaOsipova · 03/08/2018 22:28

I like it. 2 years bang on is a bit close and the older one is still very dependent. At 2.5 they're just that little bit older, maybe out of nappies/ready to start preschool and are happy to have a bit of time apart from you....but it's still a close gap such that they feel brought up together, if that makes sense?

Original poster

ReginaPhalange89 · 03/08/2018 22:42

@tiggykate I'm not even sure how the childcare thing works... My daughter is a march bday so she wouldn't get her childcare hours til Aug 2020 anyway I don't think ?

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BackforGood · 03/08/2018 22:50

If she turns 3 in March, she'd get her hours from after Easter.... it is 'the term after their 3rd birthday.'

Re the double buggy, my ds use to walk everywhere before dd was born, but, once she was here, he reverted to wanting to be in a pushchair quite a bit. We borrowed a double buggy for a few weeks, thinking it was jealousy and would soon wear off, but then actually used it quite a lot, for quite a long time (bought one, I mean, not kept borrowing friend's).
All that depends on where / how you have to walk though. You might find taking the oldest to ad fro to school is a time when you need to be there in time, so waiting for a wandering little one isn't practical.

Depending on the time of year they were born, if it is a '2 school year' difference, it gets tense around GCSE and A-level years
Also expensive if they head of to university.

tomhazard · 04/08/2018 18:30

I have 2 years and 8 months age gap between my DD and my DS.
Things I got done first which made me life easier:
Toilet training
Move to bed from cot

She was quite an easy, verbal toddler though so it was easy enough to do. She didn't use a buggy then either so i didn't bother with a double but did get a buggy board in case she got weary.

They're 3 and 5 and a half now and it's lovely- they're besties (most of the time!) and I think it's been a good gap- never felt like two babies but small enough for them to enjoy each other's company

WhoAteAllthePercyPigs · 04/08/2018 19:46

We have this exact age gap! It's been fine.

We didn't get a double buggy but did get a buggy board. DD doesn't like to use it all the time but she does really enjoy being on it.

Otherwise, I use my ergo carrier a lot for when we are out and about as it means hands free to deal with an active 3 year old!

I do wish I'd potty trained before DS was born. Was tricky with a newborn to look after too, had to rope my parents in for week day support. But then again, I don't think DD was ready before.

Both DC have a lovely bond. DD's development came on in leaps and bounds once DS was born, it's been such s good thing for her. It's a nice age gap I think; could not have faced the 2 under 2 thing!

Original poster

ReginaPhalange89 · 04/08/2018 21:30

Thanks for all your replies !

I want to aim for July due date so if it works out it'd be more like 2 years 4 months ... it's a scary thought , but I do really want to go for it ! I think it'd be so worth all the hard bits , once they're older and close in age . My daughter is a bit behind so far with walking etc so not sure if I'll be able to get her out of the buggy etc 😬 I can always use a sling for the new baby if she needs the buggy a little longer

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Caterina99 · 06/08/2018 06:03

Mine are 2 years 3.5 months apart. Currently 10m and 3yr 2m

It’s been hard at times, but also not as bad as I thought it would be. I do have a double buggy, as my eldest is a runner, so I wanted to be able to strap him in. And I do a buggy exercise class once a week. It depends on what I’m doing, but mostly I use a single and the older one walks, or baby carrier and older one in buggy. but long days out or a lot of walking then I use the double. Friends with the same age gap don’t have a double so it just depends on your kids really.

Yes there have been some tough moments where the baby is screaming and the toddler is crying and I don’t know which one to deal with first, but you do get used to it. And accept that the baby will get ignored more the first child did, and that your toddler will watch a lot of tv while you feed the baby.

Mostly the baby just comes along to all toddler activities and essentially slots into his routine. Getting out every morning to tire out the toddler was essential for my sanity, and then back home for lunch and nap/quiet time. Also my DS does 2 mornings a week of nursery which really helps.

slapmyassandcallmejudy · 06/08/2018 06:17

Mine have this age gap, I didn't need a double because my eldest walked everywhere by then and I drive so not much need for a double pushchair, if I didn't drive then perhaps I'd have needed one though....

I found the gap ok, my eldest is older than her years though and fairly resilient, she adjusted very quickly. Now they're 2 and nearly 5, they get on well, have a lot of love for each other, youngest copies everything oldest does, they do squabble and annoy each other on a very regular basis though hardest part for me was bed times with two during the first 18 months but I'm a single parent, with another pair of hands it'd have been easier. Now apart from squabbling, they're fairly easy

Eledamorena · 07/08/2018 03:28

Mine are exactly 2.5 years apart (now nearly 3.5 and nearly 1). So far, so good. The older one was aware enough to understand but not overly interested when the second was born. Now they play together quite a lot, though the older one also gets rage when the baby takes her toys!! I think as they get older this age gap will be fine, but I also think you just work with what you've got and you don't know any different!

I didn't buy a double buggy but we rarely used a pushchair anyway. Depending on how much you walk, you might find this invaluable. I did buy a (second hand) buggy board but the novelty wore off after a few goes and I was relieved because I'm short and didn't like pushing the buggy when the board was in use.

DD1 did become a bit 'clingy' when DS was born... wanting to sit ON me rather than next to me etc. But it was fine. We spent a LOT of time saying 'gently!!' when she was near the baby (still do!) I also totally caved on screen time when heavily pregnant (not an easy pregnancy) and we still haven't fixed this to a level I am comfortable with, but I basically couldn't walk towards the end and then had a section so needs must. I certainly couldn't get on the floor to play!

Best of luck with conceiving!

Anyideashelp · 07/08/2018 04:15

I have 2 years and one month between my eldest two. Was pretty tough in the early days and decided against the same age gap between 2 and 3 who have 3 years between them. Much much easier as I have a bit of a break when DC2 is at nursery (funded hours) which I didn't have with the first two and could be full on at times. That said they're now approaching 4 and 6 and keep each other entertained and are the best of friends (and often worst of enemies but, hey, a bit of squabbling is still keeping each other entertained in my book 😬)

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