No end in sight

[Shehz21]

I see no end in sight. LO is 21 weeks and ever since she hit her 4 month sleep regression, she wakes up every 45mins-1hour. I initially thought I should just ride it out as I researched a lot about the 4 month sleep regression and thought it is just a phase where she will be forming her permanent sleep habit so I got rid of whatever I thought consisted of bad sleeping habits e.g swaddle but kept the dummy and introduced a lovie.
However things are just going from bad to worse and all I want to do is cry and bang my head against the wall as she develops into a very difficult baby. She takes 1 bloody nap a day of 45mins-1hour and whimpers/cries/screams for the rest of the day.
She was such a happy baby who used to sleep through the night(swaddled)until she hit this bloody shit 4 month sleep regression. I hate motherhood.
I swear solemnly to never ever go through this again. Rant over.

Bumping - no advice from experience but hopefully someone else will repky with concrete advice that has wirked fir them- how about trying a mobile hologram that puts patterns on the wall. Just thinking a distraction might help. Also maybe worth seeing a baby cranologist, professional who manipulates the baby's skull because sometimes the bones come out of alignment during childbirth. Big hugs and don't be afraid to speak to doctor or midwife until you get someone helpful and sympathetic.

We are also in the dreaded four month sleep regression. In fact I'm in the spare room as DH is giving me a night off and surprise surprise I'm wide awake whilst DH and DS are snoring away 😂
Anyway I have driven my self bonkers reading everything under the sun but now I'm just doing what I can to get through. I'm trying to enforce two long naps in the day, today it worked, tomorrow it probably won't. My DS will only nap with rocking so for his morning nap I rocked and let him sleep on me and for his afternoon nap as soon as I thought I could see sleepy signs I put him in his pram and rocked him for about 10 minutes. Tonight he went down for bed at 7.30 without any fuss and was much happier than the day before where he'd had one nap of half an hour!
My only advice is just so what you can, it's seriously rough but it will end. A friend gave me a great tip, seems a bit silly but helped my state of mind, that the next day is a new day so when baby wakes up don't dwell on how horrible the night or day before were but concentrate on the new day being good. Does sound very cheesy written down but considering I ended yesterday in tears I'm ending today feeling happy. Good luck xx

This was (and still is a bit) me.
Sounds like she's tired during the day? I have to spend an inordinate amount of time getting mine to sleep after he's been awake 2-3 hours but I do need to do it otherwise he's cranky as hell.

Taking him for a walk in the pram helps and my DH has a special rocking move that magically works (I have tried to copy it and can't!)

IME sleep begets sleep so do as much as you can to get her to nap in the day. DC1 had 3 naps for ages but DC2 only has 2 - sometimes both are only 30 mins...

Another one suggesting working on the naps. It’s the thing that really stood out for me from your post. If DH is around today I’d get him to take KO out for a walk about 2 hours after LO wakes today. Tank LO up first, get DH to change nappy and clothes and then send them out for an hour and have a nap. Get him to do the same about 3 hours after LO has awoken from the first nap.

Is LO reverse cycling by any chance too? Can you fit anymore feeds in the Day? Sometimes feeding in a quite okace without distractions can help.

Thank you everyone for your replies. It really helps when in a situation like this.. I feel my mind is in a dark dark place...
I will try working on the naps but may I add,without any intention to drip feed,that at the start of the sleep regression,she was still having 3x 1hour naps per day but still night time slesp was the only thing affected.. Unfortunately as the weeks went by,even the naps started getting affected.
Does it ever end though the 4 month sleep regression? Or will I have to endure this till she becomes a teen or something?
I have started mix feeding incorporating 3x formula a day and a 210ml bottle which she gulps down as her last feed of the day.

So sorry about the other mummies going through this as well.. it's not a happy phase at all..
to you all.

Yes it does end. At 21 weeks my DS would only sleep on me and only if I sat up. I think I nearly went insane with tiredness. He’s now I teen and I’m trying to get him out of bed to go out with me and not having much luck.

Is the formula reducing the night wakings?

Unfortunately no Julie. I have no idea why I thought introducing formula would miraculously decrease the night wakings, even fought with DH who was advocating ebf for the first 6 months, but no.. the night wakings remain the same!! Should I maybe start weaning?

I am going insane myself right now. How did you get through this whole phase Julie? Lol dnt wanna wish her life away but cnt wait for her to grow older and start sleeping atleast a 4hour block straight!!!

Mine is 6 months and 4-5.5 months was the worst. He did improve but now I think he has some intermittent teething pain so that throws things out again.
Mine also didn't really have an evening bed time until one day he just did!

Don't start weaning, it won't make any difference, especially as it'll be a few blobs of puree at best at this age and lower calorie than milk.

Just to warn you, there are more sleep regressions and teething/ illness affects things. YOu won't always get a 4 hour block. I got DS first 6 hour block last night. He's 13 mo. I didn't sleep a bloody wink through it.

And I feed to sleep, cuddle, co-sleep. All the 'bad habits' A.K.A perfectly natural behaviours

Totally agree with arbrigton Weaning actually made things worse for us not better. If you think baby is hungry, try getting in as many feeds as you can in the day. Have a read of this on Kellymom.

The No Cry Sleep Solution helped us a bit.

Hang on in there it will get better. I'm another who suggests working in the naps and the night will fall into place. Our 4 month sleep regression was awful. Try avoid feeding every wake, when they wake leave them alone as long as possible (only go when they get upset) and put them to sleep the same way you did at bedtime.

Just wanted to pop in to thank everyone for their input. I found the criminal! BLOOODYYY DUMMY! I realised she was waking and looking for her dummy after every sleep cycle. I gently weaned her off the dummy the last 3 nights and last night she slept from 9 to 4! Omg it was amazing!
Thank you so much everyone and I put all your advice into practice such as feeding more during the day and not weaning this early.

brighton I would like to add you are absolutely correct about "bad habits" being natural behaviors. I have started cuddling her during the day for her nap and she has 3 naps now albeit 2 starting on me then transferred to her cot. But she looks way more rested and happy this way!

I hope last night wasn't a one off and we can persevere without the dummy despite the 15mins of whining/crying and another 15mins of patting the bum/sshing.

It does get better I promise! I know it's a long way off but I now have to wake my 9yo up during school holidays or he would sleep until lunchtime. Hang in there (and it takes much much less than 9 years ) - she'll get there.

Waves at Bertie !
Well for now I think the culprit might actually be the dummy at night time but I am still letting her have it for her naps otherwise she screams bloody murder. I tried to let her self settle but she just keeps on howling so I gave in and she dozed off within seconds..
Thank you for the support though, I am definitely hoping it takes less than 9 years!!
Ahhh lie ins... can't wait for those blessed days to be back in my life.