Older child ruining the summer break

[eleventwinkles]

My eldest DD (9) has not let 1 day go by without a strop/tantrum about 1 thing or another. It's really starting to get to me as I'm resenting spending any days out with her as I honestly feel she doesn't deserve them given her behaviour.
She gets a warning but still pushes it and so today we aren't going out because she won't behave.
I feel this is terribly unfair on her younger sister.

Any advice for appropriate punishments/discipline would be greatly received.

Her daily strop so far is her clothes - she asks me to pick them, then has a hissy fit when she sees them. I now refuse to pick them for her but she still stomps about the place huffing and puffing that her clothes are terrible and so not cool

Can you spend a few minutes choosing them together the night before in a calm relaxed way.
My dds have always been funny with clothes so I know to leave time to deal with it.
Rather than punish her try to be resourceful and find ways to deal with her positively.

Maybe she is tired and wants some down time rather than days out? Perhaps sit with kids and have a planning meeting to see what they want to do? School is exhausting the last few weeks and it's been really hot. Maybe do mornings at home and then out after lunch? Also could you do some play dates so she gets time with other people and you get a break.

sit down with DD1 and ask what she'd like to do this holiday. If she doesn't have any ideas, give her some suggestions like kite flying, library, roller skating, bowling etc... Make a reasonable list, and start to work your way though it. Tell her clearly that each time she has a strop or a tantrum, you'll cross something off the list. I did this with my DS and got as far as crossing three things off his list, before all tantrums stopped! It also helped that he got to the end of a day out without having a hissy, he'd get an ice cream/ something small from the gift shop/bottle of bubble mixture etc... Same appplied to his sister.

You could also do a reward system and every time she does something positive she gets a sticker/marble then for every ten she gets to choose a treat e.g. ice cream