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what to do - child on child abuse?

4 replies

wishfulblinking · 01/08/2018 01:13

I also posted this in the teenage section but haven't had any responses so am posting here too.
My 12 year old daughter told me today that her best friend (also a girl, 13 yo) confided that she'd 'had sex' at 8 years old with her 8 year old friend (a boy).
My DD is the first person she's ever told. The way she told my DD made her feel like it was definitely not a case of mutual curiosity. This girl felt she had to agree. Of course, no 8 year old can give consent so that's not really the point.
My DD of course has sworn me to secrecy and is adamant that I can't tell this girl's parents.
Obviously I have to. I feel this poor girl needs support and help and this was child on child sexual abuse. The boy, wherever he is now, does too.
How do I go about this? What would you do? It's taken nearly 5 years for this girl to tell someone. I don't want to go in all guns blazing but equally I can't not do something.
I've suggested my daughter talks more to her friend about this and try and convince her to tell her parents. But I think it's unlikely she will. Should I try to talk to the girl? Or just go straight to her parents and say that I heard something that concerns me and please could they try and get their daughter to open up to them?

OP posts:
MummySparkle · 01/08/2018 01:15

Call Childline for advice

Rebecca36 · 01/08/2018 01:21

Tread carefully because your daughter's friend may not be telling the truth, or not the whole truth.

At 8 years old a lot of children occasionally play Doctors and Nurses and it may not be more than that.

The poster above me recommended contacting Childline; I agree with her wholeheartedly as the people there are experienced in sorting through such things.

wishfulblinking · 01/08/2018 02:00

Yes, good idea. Will call a similar number here in the country where I live. I asked another friend for her advice just now and she thinks it was probably just normal childhood experimentation... but what if it wasn't is all I can think.

OP posts:
Justgettothepoint · 01/08/2018 07:51

Yes agree with others to call for advice. At 8 years old it might be someting else but on the other hand by the age if 13 the idea of what sex is would be clearer. Of course it also depends on the maturity of the 13 year old. Tread carefully not least because you don't want to break your dds trust for the future.

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