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Parenting

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Original poster

10 month old STILL not sleeping through. HELP!

21 replies

Natalie2900 · 31/07/2018 21:22

Im after some advice, my 10 month old son has never slept though an entire night in his life!
Can anybody tell me where i am going wrong?

There isn't really a set pattern in his waking but usually his routine is..dinner, play, bath then 8 ounce bottle in bed at 7pm goes to sleep, bottle at 10pm as he wakes for it.. then he can wake up 1am or 3am and he'll take another bottle, impossible to settle him without it, Ive tried ignoring him but he gets in such a state and i don't believe in "crying it out"...also tried to not give him milk and he cried for 3 hours!! i am completely exhausted and on top of it i struggle with anxiety so can't even sleep through and let me partner take over, as my body just won't shut off i am listening in to everything.
Anybody have any tips or any good books i can follow, i have brought no cry sleep solution but have just moved house and not had a chance to start it yet.

OP posts:

Lozxx · 31/07/2018 21:27

Have you tried giving water instead of milk? Maybe he's just thirsty, how much is he eating in the day and what are naps like? That is quite late to still be waking so much for milk but every child is different. My LB stopped taking milk during the night from 5 months but before that he woke every 2 hours for milk. Sleep training is definitely something you can look into :)

OsMalleytheCat · 31/07/2018 21:29

I don't know that it's that unusual I'm sorry to say, my little one didn't sleep through the night until he was nearly 3

serenmoon · 31/07/2018 21:30

Possibly not what you want to hear but I don't think there is anything you can do. I have ten month twins, one sleeps through one doesn't even though they have the same routine. So I really believe sleep is developmental and down to the baby.

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Mrsharper88 · 31/07/2018 21:33

I feel your pain. DS was a terrible sleeper until about 1, and didn’t sleep through consistently until about 20months. Like yours he would become so distressed if I left him to cry, I couldn’t do it. I also suffer bad anxiety especially around sleep so i understand how hard it feels. We started giving him water instead of milk in night feeds, and I would sit in the room/hall with my back to him until he went to sleep. If he got really distressed I would pick him up briefly or stroke his hair and then go back to sitting down. This did work for us, perhaps you could try it.

You’re doing everything right, he will sleep through eventually xx

Original poster

Natalie2900 · 31/07/2018 21:33

I have heard some are just that way, I think i need to look at sleep training as i believe its just separation anxiety that he has. once im in the room he stops crying but is hanging off me like a baby koala trying to cling on to me when i lay him back down.

i will offer water and also try the controlled crying and just going in to check on him and then leaving. Also will try "gradual retreat" . This worked with my daughter but she is 6 now and I cant remember anything! She took about 5 days i think with gradual retreat!

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ImYourWomanJonSnow · 31/07/2018 21:34

I know it feels hard work but 10 months is really young. 10pm and one more waking during the night is really not bad and perfectly normal for that age. Sorry can’t help with advice, I have a 14 month old who only slept through a handful of times but it does get better (in my case one waking a night is a good night). Good luck with whatever you choose to do, or decide just to wait it out, it does get easier. My first born shit sleeper (and I mean truly shit) used to wake every hour at that age. He now falls asleep by himself and sleeps for 11 hours solid and has been from 18ish months.

Original poster

Natalie2900 · 31/07/2018 21:36

I feel bad sometimes like im expecting to much of him! And maybe he just isn't ready to sleep through and i shouldn't be depriving him off milk!

I will have to have a week off not giving in just try crack the separation issue he has. I will try the water tonight! and i will just sit in his room.

Not sure whether to try the sitting in his room and gradually moving out or the controlled crying and keep returning?

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Original poster

Natalie2900 · 31/07/2018 21:38

You have all made me feel SO much better. Sometimes i feel like everyone i know who has a baby is sleeping through already.. some even 10 weeks old!

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bourbonbiccy · 31/07/2018 21:42

I really wouldn't put yourself and your baby through the heartache, he will sleep through when he is ready, my DS is 1 soon and has only just stated sleeping through a few nights a week (still not consistently ). I got myself so worked up and thought I must do everything to get him to sleep through, but then I spoke to the midwife and she just said he will do it when he's ready.
So if I were you I would ( and did ) keep yourself and your baby happy, he will do these things in good time, and sure enough he is starting to.

Namelesswonder · 31/07/2018 21:43

Try and just go with the flow. I tried every sleep training method I could find but nothing worked consistently or for any length of time. DD1 first slept through at 2 years, DD2 at 8 years. Some DC just don’t sleep.

mindutopia · 31/07/2018 21:43

It’s rare for a 10 month old to sleep through. Most are still feeding during the night still at that age, so yes, it does sound like you are expecting too much. There really isn’t a magic solution until they’re just ready to do it.

My first didn’t sleep through til she was 3.5. My 2nd slept through most nights from 10 weeks. We did absolutely nothing different. Co-slept, fed to sleep, they both only slept on us to start, etc. Just some babies are weird and sleep all night, but it really is normal to be waking at night into toddlerhood. It doesn’t sound like you’re doing anything wrong and especially with separation anxiety, the best thing you can do is to soothe them. It’s a really critical time in terms of developing independence and confidence and they get that from knowing you’re there when they need you. It really doesn’t last forever. I did find it got a lot easier by 12/13 months.

Puddinchops · 31/07/2018 21:46

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at poster's request.

serenmoon · 31/07/2018 21:47

Just ignore people who say their baby sleeps through, they'll have some other struggle along the way. It's perfectly normal for ten month olds not to sleep through and also to not want to be apart from their mum. So much is going on for them at this age and they are trying to make sense of their world and need comfort and security which they find in their parent.

ShakespearesSisters · 31/07/2018 21:51

Mine are 4 and 6, years not months and we still regularly have one appear at the side of our bed in the middle of the night, or occasionally roll over expecting to see DH and find a child instead. Most of my friends have the same issue :-(
But they both were amazing at potty training, we can't have it all.

Rednaxela · 31/07/2018 21:53

At that age DS was waking for milk at similar times to yours OP. After the second feed he would usually not settle back to sleep unless I took him into my bed and co slept. So for a while we spent the first part of the night in our own beds and the small hours together

Sleeping through will happen. Don't try to force it. The illusion of control leads to anxiety. Just focus on getting through this stage.

Original poster

Natalie2900 · 31/07/2018 21:55

The thought of his development being affected because i want sleep makes me feel bad and has really put it into perceptive that he is only little for a small time, and this won't go on forever, if he wants me he can have me whatever hour he needs!
Thanks to everyones comments they have really helped me realise that his waking his ok and not unexpected at his age.
the thought of him being alone in his room crying and terrified me or his daddy aren't there breaks my heart :(..

and he has a bottle to go to sleep at 7pm but he can fall asleep without a bottle, but his usually routine is bottle before nap and bottle before bed. Just seems nice for him to fall asleep with belly full of warm milk :)

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BeeMyBaby · 31/07/2018 21:55

@Namelesswonder 8 years??? I thought my DS was bad at 2.5yrs without sleeping through. I think I might go mad if I had to wait till he was 8!

Original poster

Natalie2900 · 31/07/2018 21:57

Rednaxela this is EXACTLY our lives.. he won't settle after 3am and his in our bed because we are both so exhausted we give in.. last night he was in our bed by 1.30am.. ( naughty).. he ends up sleeping diagonal and somehow manages to pull my hair when he's asleep.

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Original poster

Natalie2900 · 31/07/2018 21:58

my 6 year old is amazing! so maybe i should count my blessings there.. one who's brill and one who's not! she is asleep by 7.30 and don't hear a peep until 7am!

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ednakenneth · 31/07/2018 21:58

My son didn't sleep through until he was 18 months old. He's now 14 and a great sleeper. It's tiring but it's not for ever. He will do it when he's ready. Maybe he's just thirsty rather than hungry. My daughter still called for milk in the night until she was 3. She was thirsty but went back to sleep straight away. It feels like forever at the moment but it will get better. You will look back at this period and laugh!! Stick with the it.

BetterEatCheese · 31/07/2018 22:02

Probably more normal than you think. Mine didn't sleep through until 18 months, always woke at 3/4 until then

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