Please help me feel better about going back to work, any positive stories?

[lionstigersbearsohmyg]

I was feeling terrible and guilty enough about it and now 2 days before I go back to work my dd has come down with a febrile conjunctivitis type of thing. My first two days are induction and if I don't go, I can't go back to work, so going to be forced to leave her. She was meant to be with childminder so her dad will have to take time off work to have her but even then we would all much prefer it was me with her if she's feeling poorly...

She 10 months, I'm going back 3 days a week. 1.5 days are with her dad, 0.5 days with my mum and 1 day with childminder. I have a job where it is really unideal to take time off work as it negatively impacts on many others and I would feel really guilty. But then would feel even more guilty to not be with DD. Luckily DPs job is relatively flexible but we have no local family so a lot will fall on him.

It all just feels like one big unachievable, chaotic, difficult to organise mess where I will just miss her terribly and feel guilty the whole time. Not going back isn't an option sadly.

Soooo, any positive stories where going back to work was good for you/baby/anyone??

It was fine. Similar sort of arrangement with a lovely, reliable childminder. All good.
We did it twice :)
It's very hard to start with but it does work.
There will be hot drinks for you and dc get used to socialising a bit.

I was terrified before I went back. The first week or two were pretty awful - DD was miserable, I was stressed and exhausted, and like your DD she got sick just before I went back so I spent the first week juggling everything. Then about 3 weeks in something clicked - over night she went from hating to loving nursery, we figured out a routine and it started feeling right. It has been so good for her, she's so much more confident and chilled about life and her language has come on amazingly. And I felt so good for getting some time back to me, and felt better able to parent on my days off. And mostly things run pretty smoothly now. We still have stressful times when she is sick, or when we are both held up on our commutes but overall it really does work. I also did 3 days, but we don't have family locally so all in nursery and we managed and so will you!

And 1.5 days with her dad with be great for them if you are usually the go to parent when she is feeling poorly! I am sure a few weeks in she will be equally happy with either of you when feeling sorry for herself, which is the long run is good!

The thought of it it is generally speaking much worse than the reality (I say this after going back from 3 mat leaves). It will be tough the fast few weeks but you’ll get into a routine and it will be good for all of you. You get to keep that ‘other’ identity so you’re not ‘just’ mummy.
3 days is a lovely balance. We are very lucky in this country to be able to do part time. I’ve had friends in States and Canada faced with full time or nothing.
Hang in there. And most of all what a good example you will be to your daughter, of a strong, independent woman capable of earning her own way in the world (girl power)!
Good luck.

I love working 3 days a week, DC love nursery and I love my days with them! I honestly prefer this to when I was on Mat leave and not working. Yes it's very annoying and stressful when they are ill, but the older they get the much less often it is! Good luck!

Thank you every one I feel like it's just snuck up on me very suddenly. Good to hear positive stories :)

You’ll all be fine and it sounds like an excellent time for her dad to bond and get used to doing sick days. I went back when my first was 11 months (with 6 hours of travel 1-2 of those days so I was leaving the house at 6am and not home til dinner). I went back full time when she was 2. It really was the best of both worlds. She had never been left with anyone before or slept with anyone but me (bedsharing) and she settled fine. She loved nursery and we both cried 4 years later when she left to start school.

As long as you like your job, it'll be fine! It sounds like you have a really good balance of childcare and your dd will be fine. I'm going back at the beginning of September with two days nursery and my mum one day per week for my two year old and 9 month old dd. I'm feeling pretty good about it... it went smoothly last time though so that gives me confidence!