Whats it like starting again with a new baby when you have an older child?

[thatlldopig1]

For various reasons we haven't had another child and ds is 6. Life is easy now and we have our life back , no money worries, ds is settled at school and all is well...

For some bizarre reason I am contemplating trying for another child but I can't imagine loving back to baby days with a 6 yo. Anyone done this? What is it like? And how did your older child react?

Just over 4 years here so not quite as big as you. It’s been great. DD has been so much more independent and understood that the baby takes up time etc. She absolutely loves her little brother. He’s a much easier baby than she was which helps. Not just a second baby thing he’s definitely got a calmer temperament. I can highly recommend a slightly larger age gap.

My two boys have a few weeks shy of 7 years between them. Now they are 9.5 and 2.5 and they have a lovely bond. My eldest loves helping his younger brother and in return my younger wants to be just like him. He also quite hilariously told me off for confiscating screen time off his brother and shouted "no mummy! Give him iPad!"

Best bits are seeing their bond. Like when Ds1 asks to wake him up from his nap or when he got upset last week as the boys were sharing a room on holiday and now we're back they are in separate rooms. Or when ds2's first word was an attempt on his brother's name. Or how he wants to sit next to him at dinner.
There are difficulties in that they won't much like the same thing for outings, but I find if you continue to make time for your eldest one to one he will enjoy reliving his youth with his sibling.

I just asked DS1 what he likes best about being a brother and he thought about it and said "having someone else in my family to love". It's made my eyes go all leaky.

I have a 5 year gap . It wasn't what I would have wanted, I always pictured having a few close in age but it didn't work out like that for me .

However, it's actually quite lovely. My 2nd arrived a few months before the eldest started school. So we had a few months together of bonding time and then once she started school I had the rest of my mat leave being able to spend days just me and the baby. Older was very helpful , adores her baby sister. And likewise now that she's a bit bigger , baby adores her big sister too. I'm sad that they might not be as close when they're older (like teenagers etc) but overall it's a really nice gap.

Don't get me wrong, it's a shock to the system going back to it all. You completely take for granted how easy it is with an older child, they're so independent. You completely forget how hard it is doing anything with a newborn,.even just leaving the house is a mission ! But it's only for a few years and I'm sure it's worth it !

There's 7 years between DD1 and DS and 4 quite close to 5 years between DS and DD2. They're 13, 6 and nearly 2 now. i was quite worried about how my oldest would react to having a sibling after being an only child for 7 years but she was keen to help look after him. They get on well most the time, though they've never really played together they do share a love for football so they play that together quite often. I think having that common interest really helped them bond. With DS and DD2 one second they love eachother and the next they can't stand eachother, usually when they have to share anything. But there's deffiently an inseperable bond between all three of them even with the age gaps, DD2 absolutely adores her older brother and sister, she nearly hugs them to death when they come home from school or are gone for the day for any reason

We had a 15 year gap between DC4 and DC5.

It felt like having the first one again, but with the confidence of having done it before.

DC1 had already moved out but DC2 and DC4 were not impressed at all and have never really been interested in DC5. They'd quite like to put her away in a box when they've had enough of her. DC3 loved her to bits as a baby and has been the only one consistently being there for her. Obviously I can't prove any correlation but DC1/2/4 (now late 20s/early 30s) have no interest in having children. Neither does their cousin whose only sibling was born when she was 11.

We went from university visits to nursery visits almost without blinking. One lot of uni visits while pregnant was fine but the next lot with a lively toddler were a trial.

Obviously it had an effect on my career. I was FT but had to go PT when she started school. Nursery fees nearly bankrupted us. There have been some jobs in my organisation I'd like to have gone for but can't with a small child and no longer have the luxury of time.

I think you can't help looking at the past with rose tinted glasses and the new reality is a bit of a shock.

I must add I think them all being at completely different ages can be hard sometimes. About a week after DD2 was born DS started primary school and DD1 started Secondary school, I think i was more focussed on having a newborn baby and probably didn't make as much fuss over the other two as i should have