1 year old tantrums and not eating

[rosieblu]

Hi everyone, just looking for some advise.

My dd is 1 she's always been on the small side (really low down on the centile chart) but have always been told she's fine size wise and is just small... she got a bug at the start of the month which was sickness and diarrhoea, she understandably went off her food and milk... she got better although her poos are still really loose, samples taken from gp say everything is normal... she got a lot better with food again eating properly, she seems to have got a bit of a snuffle and runny nose this week but is absolutely fine in herself playing chatting crawling etc

She's literally refusing to eat, every time I even try and sit her in her night chair she screams arching her back so I literally can't get her in, I took a spoon off her early and she had a massive melt down, throwing things etc, all of the babies at nursery are older than her and I'm not sure if she's maybe picked this up there as she copies a lot... I just really don't know what to do, I feel like a crappy mum because she's not eating properly... hv advised months ago to offer something every 2 hours or so, I do this but she's never interested, I try her with homemade soups, snacks, pouches, toast, cereal she's just not interested , I feel really anxious with it and I just don't know what to do.. she's having about 4 formulas a day currently

If anyone has any advise id be really grateful

If she’s having formula 4 times a day, how much is this in total OP? And is she just 1?

Can you tell us what a typical day looks like for food and milk?

She's just turned one.

4 bottles roughly I usually make 7/8oz but they are never finished off, usually drinks 5 oz or so out of each bottle

Typically:
Usually wakes 5/6 for first bottle, about 8 ish we have breakfast usually toast followed by readybrek, 11 bottle and then nap 1 lunch, usually blw food followed by a soup or purée, 3 bottle and then nap (has a meal at nursery at this time) 6:30/7 tea time (this late due to work) bath and then bottle before bed

She was doing so well but at the moment it's just not even attempting to try the food

Is she teething? I know some babies who go totally off solids when teething. Also my son is 1 and does the back-arching, screaming thing at the moment - he isn't at nursery yet so I guess it's just a developmental stage!

That’s a lot of food, a lot of bottles and a lot of naps OP. I’m not surprised she’s refusing some of it

Are the Nap times and meal times set by Nursery?

Agree she could be teething too.

This happened to my dd2 around 12 months, she had a long-running bout of rotavirus which took weeks and weeks to clear up. For most of that time she couldn't even have milk, but existed on pints of dioralyte and at the end of it she point-blank refused to eat anything whatsoever. We literally had to start weaning all over again with baby rice etc.

It was a nightmare, we went from her happily eating anything and everything offered, to a screaming frenzy, struggling to escape from the high chair at even the sight of food. Not a lump would pass her lips. All that period when you just give them loads of different things to try, pick up, and play with (and eventually eat), she missed out on it because she was ill, and when we started again she just wouldn't have anything to do with food at all.

It was way beyond what people call fussy eating. It was horrendous, and the effects lasted for years.

If I were you, I'd just do your level best to be as calm as possible at mealtimes - I know you are frantic with worry, I was too, and don't let it show. Just take things really steadily, give her plenty of choice and (this is the hard bit) feign total indifference as to whether she eats it or not. Hopefully, she will start eating again soon of her own accord.

And don't listen to any so-called helpful advice from the 'Well my kids eat everything so you must be doing it all wrong' brigade!

D&V can leave them with a temporary milk allergy, it might be worth trying to go dairy free for a few days and see if that helps.

My DD hated the high chair, have you tried letting her sit on your knee or doing a picnic on the floor with some teddies? (Not practical for all meals obviously)

And don't listen to any so-called helpful advice from the 'Well my kids eat everything so you must be doing it all wrong' brigade hope you’re not referring to me sporadic.

Jilted why do you think 2 naps is too many?

My 16 mo is only just starting to cut down to 1 nap on some days, usually still needs 2.

Ah so you are referring to me. I never said it was too many sporadic. I said it was a lot. In my experience babies of one usually have one, but appreciate that sone babies have more.

At which point did I say that my children eat everything so that the OP must be in the wrong!

sounds like back teeth coming in

Sorry it wasn't me that posted before referring to you re food, I was just interested in the nap thing.

Only as I understood 15 months was the average age to cut down to 1, but my 16 mo DD has 1 at nursery 3 days a week (since 13 months) but I'm struggling with this on the days with me! It's like she still needs 2 but we do often struggle to fit them in without making bedtime too late.

Anyway I don't want to derail the thread! But food wise, my DD loses her appetite when teething.

Thank you all so much for replying.

I think she is teething we have never experienced this before though we didn't really have much trouble with the four front ones coming through so maybe that.

When I say, for example toast followed by ready brek she was just nibbling toast and then having a few spoons of ready brek and wasn't eating that much, I just always offer both blw and something spoon as she swaps and changes which mood she's in

We have done picnic style meals but she's too busy to sit and eat so doesn't eat much then either

Thank you everyone again for your advice good to know she's not just being really difficult & im not being really rubbish!

DD has been always been a very good eater but had a bug followed by lots of teeth coming in at once and her appetite dipped hugely, refusing some meals altogether. It took a fortnight to start improving and I would say a full three weeks to be normal. She's been making up for it since though!

This happened with my son just after he'd turned one. I think it was partly due to him becoming more independent and realising he had the power of refusal, partly due to teething.

Are you offering formula because she's not eating solids or does she normally have four bottles a day? I would always offer food before milk or offer milk in a cup alongside food. Try not to panic though - I got really worried about my toddler not eating enough but it was just a phase and he has had many other phases since!

Could she possibly be filling up on milk too much? My dd is 13 months and has dropped milk of her own accord - from about 10 months and I stressed so badly about it, but she will now take a bottle at bed time.
I find if I give her a bottle in the morning before breakfast she hardly touches her breakfast, so you could see if she will take food in favour of milk?

The important thing is try not to stress too much, i had the opposite with dd in that she wanted food not milk and I remember taking her to the health visitors and doctors saying she won't take milk what do I do! Mainly they advised me to be led by her and she will get there in time.

Sorry it wasn't me that posted before referring to you re food, I was just interested in the nap thing sorry Saz. Made a total balls up of that one didn’t I!

@spacepoodle I offer bottles morning and night always but through the day more so because I know she hasn't eaten much and to top her up a bit I try... I try to not give her bottles before meals but if she's really hungry she won't entertain food just wants milk (like first thing in the morning)

@bumfloss she could be potentially I might try reducing bottle amount and then food a bit after and see if that helps

Thank you both x

My dd is 13 months and has recently discovered independence so has been refusing anything spoon fed even if its things that she used to love (like yoghurt). She will only eat things now if she feeds herself so we're having to do that as much as possible. Where it cant be helped distraction is key to getting the spoon in....

Is she wanting to feed herself and that's why, maybe she is frustrated as my DS is coming up for 1 this week and likes to use the fork himself, it's that time of them finding independence. Other than that sorry I'm not much help as i say my DS is just turning 1,

are you aiming to stop some of her day time milk now ready for getting used to meals, as I keep being told " you never find their real appetite until after 1 and the milk stops "

@rosieblu and your not being rubbish, you are being a loving and caring mummy wanting the best for her, sorry just wanted to,add that, good luck 😀😀