Feeling really down becayse ny eldest is starting primary school in Sept

[K8eee]

I've got three beautiful children, and my eldest who is 4 'graduated' from nursery, and is starting school in September. Has or is anyone else experiencing a horrible feeling of great sadness and feeling so down at the prospect that your first baby really is growing up. I'm so sad, like to the point I want to cuddle her and sob. She's a clever little thing and I don't want to hold her back, but there is this huge wall of upset I feel is going to crash down onto me when she has her first day 😔

Personally, with 3 kids under 5, I'd be doing cartwheels

Could you home educate? Or defer her by a year?

When my DT’s started school, I took it as a time for celebration rather than sadness. They were so excited at graduating from preschool and starting ‘big school ‘. THey loved getting their uniform and showing it off to everyone. DH and I looked forward to the next stage in their lives and enjoyed their enthusiasm for growing up and learning new things.

My DT’s are now at Uni but the new stages of their lives are still something to look forward to.

Yes but you have to let go - my youngest has just left reception and I am sad but growing up is good for them and what should happen

No. I feel a bit wobbly at times but I’m mostly excited about this next stage. The transition and uncertainties are uncomfortable but I’m looking forward to our new routine.

I didn't have quite the huge great wall of sadness, but I also had 3 under 5 and felt very unsettled and "end of an era"-ish when my eldest started school. I felt like I lost her for the first couple of terms - she was physically not around anymore, and was so worn out (despite being nearly 5 when she started) that we didn't get much quality time in the evenings either.

Things that helped me were having a set routine in the morning with time for a quick story / song before we left, not arranging any after school clubs for the first 6 months or so of school, following the school on Twitter, starting some new pre-school groups with the others so it didn't feel like eldest was "missing", and making the absolute most of weekends (even if that meant not doing anything, just re-acclimatising to being together.)

Just remember it is only 30 hours a week for 39 weeks a year. It sounds like she is ready for school so don't let her know you're worried or upset. Blink and it'll be October half term!

No, not at all. I was overjoyed.

Before you think I'm a heartless bitch I must explain that DD had some serious health issues until she was 3, and needed 24/7 care. By the time she started school they were completely resolved. I danced for joy when it meant that she could start to be independent from me.

"Could you home educate? Or defer her by a year?"

Why would anyone do this purely because a Mum is finding it hard seeing her little one grow up? Do it in the best interests of the child it it is, but not a parent!

OP, she is just expanding her experiences. She is still tiny, she has so much to discover, and you will rejoice in the way she responds to new experiences and expresses it back to you.

From the day they are born they are learning to be self-sufficient in the world. They need our help every day until after they leave home, so you have years yet.

It's a big move, but you will be so proud of her!

I had 3 under 3.... When my eldest went to school I did a little victory dance !!!! Youngest now going into Year3 and eldest off to high school!!!
Life is a progression....enjoy all the moments !

I totally hear you. Thrilled for DC that they get to expand their horizons, make new friends etc. So sad for me at spending less time with them, end of an era with the freedom of the pre school years. Bittersweet.

Don't get me wrong I'm all for encouraging her and not holding her back, but as a first time mum, I was a bit of a recluse with her and scared to be seen out as a mum when she was a baby. I see mum's now taking their kids out for the day and I wish I'd done more of it.

You are a mum and a human being. Please don't think your life should only be defined by being a mum. There is more to life than that.

My eldest starts in September, and my youngest starts next September. It's wonderful that she's going, and that she's so excited, and she's so ready...but I do feel sad too.

They seem to have grown up so quickly, it seems hardly anytime ago that she was a baby.

Don’t look back at what you might have done differently- look forward- your child is embarking on a great adventure- which may not be plain sailing at all times but will allow them to experience a whole load of new experiences.

I have children about to leave school so am at the other end of it all.

I did feel a bit sad, like end of an era, I only got it with my eldest, I now have 3 in primary school.

I think after they are there a few months, and settled in, and come home and tell you something you didn't know they know and also talk about their friends, the feeling will be gone.

There is plenty of time for day trips! Also they remember more from 5 years on. I had a zoo "pass" and took my eldest multiple times over years and he barely remembers anything except that we used to hire a special buggy! So overall it was only for my benefit/sanity!

I didn't feel sad at all when my children started school. I had a party well, I took myself to the pub and had cake and a Felix hot chocolate when the youngest went up last September. When I read posts like this I sometimes wonder if I'm a cold hearted cow but I don't feel sad or tearful when my children meet milestones or whatever. If anything I am happy because they're growing up and away from me and are getting on with their own lives.

felix can fuck off I changed it twice delux hot chocolate...

I see mum's now taking their kids out for the day and I wish I'd done more of it. there's still plenty of time to do stuff like this - your child is still v young and will enjoy lots of days out with you in the next few years and will actually remember them and then share those experiences with their classmates.

Just wait until she starts school. She'll love it! The pride you feel when your children go out into the world and start learning new skills and growing as individuals is a whole new level of joy. Just embrace every stage of parenting - don't try to hang on to the one you're at now.

The primary school years are the best ones! And you've still got plenty of time to do stuff with her! They are only at school for 6 hours a day. Relax it'll be great and she'll love it.

I felt how you feel now. A kind of sadness that the lazy baby days were ending. But life quickly changes and you get used to the new routine.

I'm feeling pretty emotional this summer. My youngest is going to nursery school and I am back off to work full time after 3 years of being home with my boys in the day. I'm sad but excited as well.

Try and enjoy each stage for what it is, as you can see time whizzes past so stay in the moment and relish all of their experiences. Don't have regrets about what you wish you'd done previously, do lots of nice days out now and during the holidays (there are only about 7 weeks until October half term). Try and cherish the moment - big cliche but the time does go faster and faster.