Meal time he'll with 3 year old

[Tiredandemotional123]

My DS has always disliked 'meals' and has always been a fussy eater. He's also what you might call a 'spirited' child, very energetic, up early, no naps etc.

His fussiness combined with him not being able to sit still at a table for 2 minutes is making meal times hell.

I have tried: eating as a family, letting him eat alone, putting the tv on, giving him the iPad, toys, no toys, ignoring, being very strict etc etc. Nothing I have tried will get him to sit down and eat his bloody tea - even when it's something inoffensive like fish fingers and chips.

I think I'm looking for advice or just reassurance that he'll grow out of it!

Ye gads no wonder there's a generation of snowflakes being raised.

Sitting down at mealtimes really shouldn't be a distant unachievable target for a 3 year old.

I do think all children are different. My DS has never been interested in food and is always on the go. My friends son loves food, will ask for seconds and isn't as motivated by being physical.

I'm really not wanting to make meals times negative - for everyone involved. I don't think it would be letting him get what he wants by getting up because we would be ignoring him and he wouldn't be doing what he wanted - playing / tv.

He does have snacks throughout the day but I try not to allow them soon before a meal. He will ask for snacks after mot eating the meal and I definitely don't allow that.

Setting a timer might be a good idea - he likes a challenge. 30 mins is pushing it though! I'll start with 10....

Thanks for all your advice!

chocolateaddicted it's your choice to parent however you want but I don't agree that having a dinner or bedtime gives any negative associations when done in the right way. Quite frankly letting a child decide to go to bed anytime between 6pm and 1am for me would be insanity. I need sleep too, and a sleep deprived parent is not likely to be the best parent they can be or be at their best if they have to work. I think there is a balance to be struck between having routine and letting the child make their own decisions.

If I put him to bed at the same time every night he would still fall asleep when he falls asleep so I'd be sat in his bed for five hours potentially and I have work to do and a house to run so that's not practical for us. Plus if he goes to sleep at 1am he's more likely to sleep in till 6 rather then 3-4ish and I'd prefer the extra hours in the morning.

I don't believe in making children sit at a table as it does create negativity because they are doing something they don't want to do. It ruins it for everyone and that negativity spreads to their adult life. They need to learn to self regulate the rest of their lives and not eat because it's mealtime rather than if they're hungry.

If he's not sitting and hungrily eating a meal then I'd stop snacks for a bit or only offer smaller portions.
Be careful about milk filling him up.
If he doesn't sit and eat enough then he wasn't hungry.
I was a childminder and would have 4 children/babies sat nicely eating/waiting so it is possible with a change.

I don't believe in making children sit at a table as it does create negativity because they are doing something they don't want to do

You need to seriously rethink your approach. You are doing your child NO favours.

Throughout life, there will be many a time when they need to do things they'd rather not do. This is essential for adulthood and is learnt in childhood. You are not teaching your child these valuable life lessons and they are going to have a very unpleasant shock when they reach the real world.

My child has to do things he doesn't like doing all the time. But these are necessary things like wearing shoes, leaving the park early, getting in the car. But why should we force a small child to sit in a chair and upset everyone else for no reason. If he's hungry he eats and if not he won't. Like all children. If I'm not hungry I won't eat a meal so why should my children. He does a lot of other things and it's his decision not to do this. I foresee no situation where he would have to sit down to a formal meal unless he chose to do so.

I foresee no situation where he would have to sit down to a formal meal unless he chose to do so

Every day at 12.15 for the whole of his school career?