Being told off for son helping with chores

[chocolateaddicted]

My 3yo DS has been with his grandparents this weekend (my MIL/FIL) because they have a lovely cottage by the coast and it's only an hour away. It was really kind of them to take him away and, if I do say so myself, my son is an absolute delight to have so not worried about him being there as they are getting on in years.

I've just been to collect him and got a lecture first. In fact more of a telling off because my son told them he always helps mummy with chores. Apparently it started because the washing machine finished it's cycle and he started unloading it into a basket. He does this loads at home and I've always thought it was good to teach him to help around the house.

I was told he's too young and it's dangerous letting him do such things. Apparently her holster were allowed to be children and never expected to help out at home (yes. I've been married to one of those children for six years and can testify he was never taught to wash clothes).

Nothing is forced at home. He's three so unloading a clothes wash, putting away toys, taking his dirty plates to the kitchen and helping dust things (the walls mainly) are his only jobs. He also likes the dyson handheld so does hoovering occasionally. We've not exactly taught him but I spent two years being a SAHM so I think he just saw it as normal. Obviously he doesn't do things dangerous like cook dinner or chop trees!

Please tell me this is normal parenting and I'm not expecting too much? I think he genuinely likes helping me.

I went away with a group of 100+ 12/13yr olds last month and most of them had no idea how to pack a bag or put a duvet cover in their beds properly. I'd hate to send my kids out into the world without the basic skills to survive. If I evicted my 3yo now (potentially to the playhouse as he asks a million times a day to sleep out there) I'd be doing it safe in the knowledge his floors will be clean and he can pour himself cereal and milk and make a sandwich by himself. He won't be healthy necessarily but he won't starve or get rats!

The thing is, lots of toddlers' toys are just 'work' dressed up as play to fill in the gaps because we don't involve our children in the healthy, normal work of our lives that would have given them ample opportunity for development in all sorts of ways.

I think it’s brilliant that he wants to help. You are raising him the right way op

I couldn’t even make a cup of tea until my boyfriend showed me how when I was 16. I still cringe at the memory. Dm did absolutely everything for us. Not good!

I am also convinced that toddlers generally like to help, at 22 months DS can help to unload the dishwasher and put things in the right places, put his nappy in the bin, wipe up spills and table, put his washing in the basket. He’d definitely help with the washing machine if it wasn’t in the garage.

OP, tell your MIL that a Harvard study has recently been published showing better outcomes for children who help with chores.