Choosing Childcare- Help Required

[MemoryOfSleep]

I've just had a baby and am thinking about what to do when maternity leave ends, which will be when my LO is 11 months old. I teach at a school an hour away from home so will have to find childcare from 7 a.m. to 4.30 p.m. five days a week, which I worry may be too much for one so young. My boss said he doesn't want to let me work part-time and I have no relatives that don't also work themselves. So my options appear to be:

a) Day nursery
b) Child-minder
c) Give up work to become a SAHM for a few years.

We can afford for me to become a SAHM, though it will obviously significantly impact upon our disposable income. Because I want another baby after this one and a gap of at least 18 months but not much more than that between pregnancies, that would mean a career break of over four years to get the second child to 2 years old, which is significant. I don't know what to do for best. Any advice/suggestions/experience would be appreciated.

Coukd you find a Childminder that does term time only OP?

Mum is a CM and does term time for a teacher, (works well as she has some who require hols only care) CMs for me seem great in ways they can run schedules similar to the parents for naps your routines etc. Try meeting a few in your area and see what you think of them and their homes?

I could do, I've found a day nursery that does term time only. I'm not sure about child-minders versus day nurseries. The day nursery I've seen has cameras in all the rooms and a very stimulating curriculum. They have acres of parkland surrounding them and horses, chickens and sheep. But then, child-minders can build a closer relationship if you get a good one. Which would you say is best?

@Unicornmammy That's a good idea. I'll look into finding some- presumably I just Google?

Why not look for a new job closer to home with the possibility of part time? Or can your partner adjust their schedule to start later so maybe baby is in childcare 8:30-4:30 or something similar?

My dh and I have often staggered our work days. I would start early and he would do the drop off and then I would finish and do pick up. Also ultimately saves money too.

That said they are only little once and if you have the option financially to be at home or part time at a new job, it’s something to consider. I was part time til my first was 2.5 (Home the first year). I did enjoy working so being a SAHM wasn’t for me, but financially it worked to our advantage and it was nice to have that time together.

I'd say childminders are better for babies, secure attachments are more important for brain development than lots of activities. Childminders and nurseries all follow the same curriculum.

Theres a website childcare.co.uk ive heard is good. Also i remember my HV giving a list of local nurserys/CMs. Its hard one. Although im pro CM with my mum being one and taking care of my DC (it was a no brainer for me) not sure what i would have chose if i didnt have that option! Worth asking around locally if ppl rate the childcare in your area

@Mindutopia I've considered a new job, but I'd want to be pregnant again within the year of going back to work, which is probably a bit cheeky if I've just started a new job. We could probably get a bit of time back by trying to adjust start and end times, but not a significant amount.

@Mindchilder that's a good point. But how do you know the childminder you pick is a good one?

@Unicornmammy

Good shout, I'll ask my HV when I see her.

As for which to choose, personally a small child led nursery was best for us. I wasn’t keen on the idea of childminders driving around with my dc in their car and not knowing where they were in case of emergencies or early pick ups, etc. We live rurally so just to get to groups the CM have to drive like 30 minutes. I also felt nursery offered more personal attention. Our nursery has like 5 staff so there was always someone with a free set of hands and someone to gently get her to sleep, etc. My dd wouldn’t let them put her in the cot to sleep at first so for the first 2 months someone just sat and held her for her nap. Whereas I can’t imagine a CM would have the time to do that with several other children to get down for a nap.

Beyond that though it also just about the individual feel. Anywhere personal and child led with lots of outdoor space is going to be better than somewhere really generic where they just plop them in front of the tv every afternoon, no matter whether it’s a nursery or CM.

Personally, I prefer a nursery. Children do get a bond with their key worker (and other staff) and they socialise with other babies. I've seen childminders take their charges to play areas/ soft play / parks etc and essentially ignore them as they chat to other CMs. And I would worry about what the CM is doing in their own home with my DC. I get that they are registered etc but you never know... in a nursery there is always someone else there.

Great points above...just to add one, if CM is off ill you have no childcare... theres always plenty of staff in a nursery!

My DS has just turned one and goes to nursery 3 days a week from 8am-5.30pm. He loves it and it means we can both work. I do 4 days luckily now and relatives have him one day which does help but if it's a case of giving up your career when you don't want to then I'd choose a nursery every time.
I'd put my son in nursery at least one day a week even if I wasn't working to be honest.
I could never be a SAHM though so it wasn't an option to me, to me personally it's so mundane.

Thanks everyone, you've been very reassuring. I have been reading a lot of very negative stuff about childcare for the under twos, so your experiences are very helpful. Plenty of food for thought x

What time does dh/dp start? If they did the morning drop off would it make for a shorter day for dc?

@NapQueen, sadly he leaves the house at the same time I do and gets home much later, so there isn't much wiggle room in terms of his schedule.

Can you really do your job being there 8-3:30? It doesn't seem very long - what about meetings? Surely at least one day a week you'll have to stay until 5ish.
Plenty of people do put their children in childcare fulltime and it is fine. Alternatively see if you can reduce your days - DH and I each went down to 4 days a week so we each had day at home with DS1.
Personally I would (and did) choose a childminder for a baby because I wanted a more personal relationship but nurseries also have their advantages.

Just to add - you say your boss "doesn't want" to let you do part time hours. By law your boss needs to consider flexible working as you have a child. It may be worth submitting a request for part-time hours in writing, keeping it all official as they will have to give you a valid reason to reject it.

As owltrousers said

Doesn't want to isn't a valid reason