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Parenting

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Welfare concerns

9 replies

Desmond23 · 28/07/2018 20:08

Hi all
I have shared custody of my 8 and 6 year olds with my ex for about 15 months now, but am becoming increasingly concerned about their welfare on her weeks. To try and keep it brief my main concerns are:

  • 8 year old (who has bladder issues) routinely sleeping in a wet bed or on the floor.
  • Both staying up past midnight watching tv or playing tablets every night
  • Regularly sleeping in beds without sheets or pillowcases
  • Regularly going to school in soiled underwear
  • Not bathing for the entire week pretty much every week
  • Not brushing teeth ever
  • Falling asleep in class on numerous occassions
  • Not having regular meals (when i collected them at 3.30 yesterday they had nothing to eat all day)
  • Regularly late to school on mum's week

There are so many more things but as i said i'll keep it brief. I have discussed this with the school on a number of occassions and they have noted some of these issues independantly of my input in their book of concerns. But whilst they are concerned, they have been reluctant to act (I was given assurances on the final day of term that they will try to help somehow if things don't change after the summer holidays) and have directed me towards social services. I feel though there are far worse cases out there which rightly take up all social service's resources, and I can't imagine they will have much time for me.
I have tried reasoning with my ex, who flits between "I know I've lost control and need help" and "F-off and stop lecturing me". I've spoken to friends and family who refuse to get involved, and I've tried actively helping her myself. She just always seems to put her own needs before those of our children and I don't know where else to turn for help with this. Like I said, I know there are children out there far worse off than mine, but I can't sit back and ignore it any longer and would appreciate any advice.
Thanks

OP posts:
JiltedJohnsJulie · 28/07/2018 20:46

And you the reason that you haven’t applied for a Court Order to have them living with you is...?

Desmond23 · 28/07/2018 22:00

Do you really feel that there is enough to go on there that i would be granted full time custody?

OP posts:
Happymummy1991 · 28/07/2018 22:59

Dear God get your children out of there! It's madness to let this continue, she is neglecting them!

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cameltoeflappyflapflap · 28/07/2018 23:03

You need to get full custody of your children. She is neglecting them.

OurMiracle1106 · 29/07/2018 08:36

You’re children are going without food, sleeping in dirty beds, have no hygiene and are late for school missing out on their education.

Go to court and get full custody. Your ex clearly isn’t coping with looking after your children and needs help, NOW.

I can’t imagine how sore their skin must get exposed to urine that just isn’t washed off repeatedly.

This is neglect. I’m surprised the school hasn’t referred tbh, at which point they would look at you as being neglectful for allowing this to continue.

Numbkinnuts · 29/07/2018 08:48

So the school hasn't noticed these issues themselves ?

I'd go straight to social services.

I'd also wonder what the safeguarding is like at that school ?

JiltedJohnsJulie · 29/07/2018 09:16

I really can’t understand why you haven’t gone for full custody yet. If it were my children, I’d never let them out of my sight again.

OutingMyDog · 29/07/2018 09:19

Why do you expect the school to do anything when you haven't done anything yourself?

JiltedJohnsJulie · 30/07/2018 06:49

The County Court should open at 9am OP so that you can be there nice and early with your application.

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