Parental Guilt

[BlueMoon33]

I have an 11 week old DS and I just feel guilty all the time! The level of responsibility feels overwhelming sometimes. Is it normal to feel guilty, like everything you do just isn’t enough??

If we go out I feel guilty if he gets too hot or that he’s maybe too hungry or too overstimulated, if we stay in I feel guilty that he’s maybe bored. If I put him down I feel guilty that I’m not entertaining him enough. If I pass him on to someone else I feel guilty that he might be missing me! And it goes on!

I know a good majority of this is all in my head but just wondering if it’s common to feel like this? And does it get easier? The responsibility of looking after another human feels exhausting!!

Yep, totally normal. You don’t know worry or guilt until you have another little human to care for.

As long as you can rationise your guilt, you’ll be ok OP

Thank you JJJ. I can rationalise most of it, just can’t shift the feeling of pressure most of the day!

I think there is so much pressure on Mums now, especially new Mums OP, it’s all to easy to feel as though every moment has to be perfect.

If you think he’s too warm, it’s easy to check his temperature.

If he’s hungry, surely he’ll let you know? Is he gaining weight and bright and alert at times? If it’s yes to all of these, then he’s doing absolutely fine

If he’s bored, he’ll let you know about that too. There is no need to fill every moment.

It’s pretty normal to put baby down at some point during the day OP. You don’t have to hold them constantly and you don’t have to be constantly entertaining either.

And if you pass him over and he misses you, he’ll let you know that too

Too true, thank you!

I think he’s just at a stage where he’s awake most of the day and will only entertain himself in 5 minute bursts, I feed on demand and his feeding cues seem to be going most of the time (but he is growing fast and just a bit of a gannet I think!)

I know in my heart that he’s really happy and content and we’ve got a beautiful bond.

Just one of those days today where I just worried about everything!

Please don't worry! The guilt is totally normal, I promise you that every mum feels guilty (usually for no reason). So much pressure on mum's, it's ridiculous. Sounds like your doing a brilliant job!