Is there a big difference between having 2 kids, and having 3?

[Anonymumm]

Hi Mums,

The questions in the title really :-)

Have 2 kids, keep thinking I would like another baby, if we were lucky enough (kids are older 6 and 4) but then think, may it upset the balance of things?

Go for it. I have an 8, 6 and 3 year old. He really did just slot in.

I have similar age gap. Dc were 7 and 4 when youngest was born.
Pros- older two were getting fairly independent so physically managing care was fine. Older ones were at school /preschool so had lots of time with baby. The gap is big enough that there is little competition so less fighting, although they do occasionally annoy each other.
Cons- the different stages ment at times it has been tricky to do something everyone enjoys. Luckily they all share an interest in football so that's a good start. The big gap between youngest and oldest has made ds1 very protective of his brother and I have to remind him that its not his responsibility.
Mine are now 18, 15 and 11. Looking back times which were tricky were down to their individual characters and nothing to do with having 3 children.

I've got 4 kids aged 11,8, 4 and 3. I found going to 3 the hardest, much harder than going to 2 or 4, I guess because there was an odd number of them and I had gotten used to the older two being a pair.

I had a 4 and 2 year old when I had my 3rd baby
It was such a blur that I really cannot remember a lot other than it was non stop all day long

Funny you say that about an odd number. My 3 rarely ever played all together, it was usually two of them doing something and the other doing their own thing. Even now if two of them are having a kick about and the third one joins in it usually doesn't last for long.

I have 3 DCs, they are now 8, 10 and 12. My 3rd slotted in beautifully and I can honestly say that the transition from 2 to 3 was the easiest for us. You're already used to dividing your attention between children and a 3rd didn't make much difference.
I love having 3, it feels like a big family but is manageable as in they will all fit in a standard car / house etc... 4, on the other seems much more daunting!

Thanks everyone :-) I feel quite buoyed by the replies.

What was it like going back to the baby stage? It feels like it was a lot longer ago than it was!

I know it's going to be a lot more work, and I know it's all kind of crystal ball, but it's great having your experiences to take into consideration when weighing things up.

I didn't mind going back to the baby stage. I felt confident in what I was doing and really appreciated each stage of it.

3teens2cats that's good to hear, I've always loved the baby stage, as well as all of the other stages (I have friends who really didn't enjoy the baby stage at all)
The sleep thing is a bit of a thought, but you just adjust, don't you? And don't really think about it at the time, only looking back.

I've always wondered this. We went from 1 to 3 with twins. Generally 2 play and one goes off on her own but always different combinations. 3 works well for us

Ds3 was a hideous sleeper. I went into it thinking I know what Im doing this time, there will be no bad habits etc. Unfortunately ds3 really wasn't having any of it and can still be restless even now. Its just how he is.
I think having three has shown me that so much of parenting is down to the child's temperament and character. What works for one won't necessarily work for the others. They are individual people there is definitely no one size fits all even within one family.

When they are little the 3rd one fits right in. When DS2 was born, DS1 was 3 yrs 11 mths and DD was 2 yrs 4 mths.

Pros
It’s like a little tribe but not too many to handle
If one doesn’t want to play there’s always someone else to play with
Easier to sort out what we are going to do etc as you can’t have a tie with 3! Eg do you want to go to the park or stay home? There’s always a deciding vote. If there was just two you would end up with stalemate

Cons
It is expensive, proportionally more than going from 1 to 2 as everything is set up for 2 kids so I’d we want to stay in a hotel we can’t just get a family room we would have to get 2 rooms as they won’t allow 3 kids in a room, holiday packages are for 2 kids, etc
You spend your life ferrying children from school to play dates to activities .
It’s never quiet. If one child is reading quietly odds on the other two are running around with nerd guns!
Some stuff you can’t pass down eg school shoes so certain times of the year are very expensive
Ditto Christmas.
People will look after one or two kids, it’s a lot harder finding someone to have all 3!!
Childcare !!! My 3 primary ages kids are going to the school holiday club. 8 days is costing £650!!!!

I found 2 - 3 easiest of all. Probably enjoyed parenting dc3 most of all too. You've learned to relax a bit - that the detail you worried about with dc1 isn't important in the scheme of things. You've been used to balancing your time between 2 dc (+ work, dh, the house, and everything else). The older two can play a bit with each other (more so with the age of yours). As they start getting older, when one goes out (to hobbies or round to friends houses) there are still 2 to entertain each other.
A lot does depend on the personality of the individual children though, I guess. I found 0 - 1 tremendously hard.