How much time do you spend with your children if you work?

[newbie202020]

Just seeking advice really. So I've just returned to work after a year of mat leave and have one DC. We've relocated from the UK with my job as we wanted to experience a different culture and way of living while our DC was portable. Another important factor was affordable domestic/childcare.

I wake around 6am each day and change our DC, feed a bottle and generally play and interact with them while I get ready for work. Our helper starts work around 7.20am and I leave around 7.30am. I return home between 5.30pm/5.45pm, take over from our helper, finish giving dinner, bath, play, get ready for bed, bottle, book, bed by 7pm. On weekends we spend every moment with out DC as our helper cleans, does laundry, ironing, shops, cools etc so usual weekend domestic chores are completed for us. My husband is at home with our DC at the moment too to ease the transition to a new country and childcare arrangement. It still doesn't feel like I spend enough time with DC, especially after such an enjoyable one year mat leave.

I'd really like to hear how everyone else feels about the amount of time they get spend with their DC if they work outside the home?

thanks so much!

I get about the same amount of time as you, although my children go to bed a bit later 7:30/8 so I get a bit more time in evenings. They compensate for this with longer naptimes when I'm away during the day. I know what you mean that it doesn't feel like a lot of time but for me the key is making sure it's quality time.. ie phones out of reach, really focus on them and do fun stuff. I pay for a cleaner, gardener and Ironing lady so I don't need to do any of that stuff when I'm with he children.

Those sound like fairly normal hours out of the house at work, but most young couples don't have "a helper" to do all the domestic stuff. Most of us do that around / at the same time as being with our dc.

Is there any flexibility in your work pattern? Mine are school age and I work 9.30-2.30 (no lunch break) then do the rest of my hours in the evenings. Obviously doesn’t work for all jobs but I love that I see my children as much as a SAHM of school age children would, but get to carry on my career. The downside is very little free time for me, but for now it seems worth it.

I do pay a cleaner too. I think it is completely justifiable if both parents are working (plus my cleaner likes that she can fit her job into school hours too, so another working mum benefits)

My mum worked 6 days a week. I have very few memories of her from my childhood.

But, I don't think it's fair to blame the amount of hours she worked outside the home for the reason I don't have many memories of her. To be honest , she wasn't very maternal, and generally didn't bother interacting with us when she got home.

So my point is , as long as your heart is in the right place , I'm sure you and your little one will be just fine

Oh and I actually have a lovely relationship with my mum now. Just had to wait until adulthood for it !

Sounds like you spend more time than the average working parents - wish we had a "helper" to do all the jobs We end up doing on the weekend!!

No time in the morning as i wake her up get her changed and we're out the door at 7:15. Spend maybe 2 hours with her in the evening.

Weekends most of my time, but i try to make sure i have a couple of hours to myself, i don't want to spend literally the entire weekend with her

DDs 5 and a half months.
I'm up at 6am, DDs usually wake up between 6 and 6:30, I'll feed them and spend time with them then, DP gets up about 7:30 so I eat breakfast with him and am out of the door by eight, at work by half past. Depending on what sort of day it is, I can get back anywhere between five and eight (rare) by which point the DDs will already be asleep. The long hours are because I've only been back full time for a couple of weeks and have a lot to catch up on. Hopefully soon, we'll work out a system where I can see them more often.

My job is flexible. I have a certain amount of time to make memories with my family. We go places usually during termtime. Lunch is usually on the go. I hardly ever saw my mom. I don’t want to make the same mistake with my two.

Gosh, what is your husband doing all day if you have 1 kid & childcare help?
I went back to work to spend less time with my kids.
Yours is only little so they still want to be with you 24/7.
On a weekday, I probably spend about combined total 2 hrs/day in same room with my 3 DC still at home.

I have three DCs and flexible hours. I work one full long day and four shorter days so I can do homework. I'm home at 2pm those days. My Mum was very enthusiastic about our education-my brother and I had fantastic opportunities as a result. I want my DCs to have the same.

On the other hand I am making sacrifices for this time with my children. My career is demanding and stressful so in practice I do 4-5 days work to keep up but only get paid for 3. I start work early and work evenings a lot to keep up. I am frequently unwell from tiredness. I work because I love my job. Its unlikely I'll be promoted while on a 3 day week. Full time colleagues/friends very obviously have more money than me. I won't have money for home improvements, kitchen renovations, extensions etc for many years.