I'm at my wits' end with my baby

[Limpshade]

Please help - DD2 is 8wo and just will not be put down. She pretty much slept only in her bassinet or a pram for the first 6 weeks of her life and now will not stay asleep longer than 10-15 minutes in either. I also have a 1yo who needs my attention too and I feel like I'm at the end of my tether with this.

So far I've tried getting her to sleep in my arms, then warming up the bassinet that has my t-shirt in with a heat pack, but she will still wake up after a short time. She hates the sling and front pack, and screams and wriggles until she's taken out (screaming on walks too until we get home), ditto the car seat and bouncer. Only my arms will do.

Please don't tell me to enjoy the cuddles with her: I spend plenty of time cuddling her when she's awake as she has reflux and colic (on medication for the reflux) that lasts long into the night. I just want to be able to cuddle or play with my other daughter who is still a baby herself.

Sleepyhead?

Back to the GP for a look at her colic medication. She needs to sleep for longer than short naps, and so do you.

There is nothing worse than sleep deprivation and an unsettled baby, especially late at night.

Do what you need to do to get to the morning, are you on your own or is there someone else who can take her for a bit?

Speak to GP or health visitor in the morning. You are right, this is not sustainable. You've done amazingly well to have coped for so long!

watching with interest as am in the same position with my 7 week old. So desperate. every day. You are not alone.

What kind of sling are you using?

Is a Sleepyhead the answer? I'm an expat and they don't sell those here so I'd need to have one shipped over from the UK. I have no qualms with throwing money at the situation to save my sanity - I've already ordered a Close Caboo for the same reason, thinking it's the style of sling/front pack I have that may be the problem.

DD1 also had reflux and was a horrendous sleeper, but when she did sleep at least it was on her own! I know with this stage a lot of it is riding out the storm (fourth trimester and all that), so I guess I am just looking for a bandaid fix until at least another month. I sleep-trained DD1 at 5 months and she transformed, but obviously DD2 is far too young for that (some would say 5 months is also way too young but quite frankly I think I'd suffered enough by that point!)

InNeed I have a crossbody sling I bought locally (sorry, no idea of the brand) and a BabyBjorn. DD1 didn't much like the BabyBjorn either but would go off to sleep in it 9 times out of 10 - it was a lifeline for me at this stage, but even that's failing me now!

RLOU88 Sorry to hear you're going through this too. It's really, really shit, isn't it. With DD1, family members who saw what she was like at this age told me "you only get one like her", but alas, now I have two. I am very grateful for both my girls but it's hard to keep remembering that when I feel like the living dead.

Sleepyhead was the answer for me anyway - I've an 8 week old and an 18 month old and sleepyhead has meant the teeny one will actually sleep in her cot in it at night. Naps are still hit and miss, although my lo does like the sling - I'm just not a huge fan of it (particularly in this heat!) and doesn't help when you have another baby that just wants close cuddles himself from his mammy! I'd say it is worth a try if you get it now...only lasted until about 6 months when I used it with my older one. Huge sympathies for you though, it's an amazing time but bloody tough!

Op wait for the close Caboo- it is a game changer!

A sleepyhead would help. You could "make" one by rolling a towel under the fitted sheet in a U shape, to try it out.

Good luck- it's soul destroying!!!

Oh gosh you poor thing, sleep deprivation along with feeling torn between giving both children attention is soo hard but you are not alone and sound like you are doing amazingly well to go on like that for this long! Does she like to be uptight on you or just in your arms? Have you tried swaddling her? Both my babies loved ti be swaddled.I know it's not recommended but some babies like to feel secure? We also invested in a sleepy head which again helps with the comfort/reassurance thing?!

Vivarium thanks, I'm not in the UK so we have a very expensive paediatrician we visit instead. I've been to see her four times in eight weeks and I've been told the medication she's on is "the best we can do". I can't change that unfortunately, but I had hoped someone out there had a "put down" trick I'd not heard of yet. I thought I knew them all having gone through this once already, but MNers are a surprising bunch!

The rolled-up towel trick is GENIUS, I will try that. Sleep deprivation is leaving me a bit foggy!

Yes I should have said that I've tried swaddling, but she hates it. With DD1 she didn't like having her arms bound so I'd do the "Angel" swaddle, but DD2 won't even tolerate that. I guess I need to keep remembering that they are not the same baby!

Should also have said that DD1 goes to nursery 9-3, 3 days a week so it's not like I'm juggling them both all the time. I've actually sent her in for an extra day today as I'm just struggling too much with them both at home, but now I'm sat here with DD2 on me feeling pretty guilty about that.

OK I am going to see if I can get a Sleephead ASAP.

OP my son also had reflux/colic - we got him an electric swing that moved (I'm explaining this terribly) and he slept there for 30/45min at least. Also yes to a Sleepyhead! Good luck, it's always easy to say it will pass but the days can feel like an eternity!

OP strangely enough I just tried the roll up towel trick this afternoon before ordering a sleepeyhead. It worked for an hour and half he slept in his cot .. maybe worth a try!
I hope it works out for all us struggling mums soon 💤 😴

OP neither of my babies slept on their own, it is not the biological norm. Safe co-sleeping is the way forward.

Also check out the Love 2 Dream Swaddle up. It allows their arms to remain in an upward "U" shape so it's good for comfort but not restricting their arms. For me, that plus the close caboo plus the sleepyhead were life saving. Xxx

Thanks Grumpasaurus, I have a few of those but no luck so far. I will try again though.

ShackUp I know cosleeping can be a good solution for some, but however safe it is made, I guarantee you I will not sleep a wink with worry about something happening. It's the one thing I refuse to try, but I honestly appreciate you taking the time to help.

I totally understand why, OP, the media reporting on it is very alarmist. Please consider reading up on it and finding out a bit more, the horror stories you read are about very unsafe co-sleeping practices e.g. sleeping on sofa, under influence of drugs.

Infant Sleep Source website: www.isisonline.org.uk

Have you considered food sensitivities? Are you bf or ff? My friends ds would cry and cry unless he was held and it turned out to be cows milk and soy sensitivity. It was the verticalness and warmth from being held that was the only thing that could comfort him

I’ve found a cocoonababy has been the amazing sleep solution with my ds. (Are they the same as sleepy heads?). Best bit of second hand kit we got.

Babacush? X

www.babocush.com

It's so unbelievably tough having a baby who won't settle. Some things that helped me on difficult days were having a bath together, this was soothing for both of us and seemed ro tire her for a little more sleep. Sling (noce stretchy one loke the kabop is perfect for the early days, having support with getting a deeper latch for feeding made her a lot more settled. It turned out my unhappy baby had a cows milk protein allergyand soya allergy . May be worth checking out xxx