6 week old baby questions

[Ellsiedodah]

Hi all,

Looking for some comfort! My gorgeous 6 week old son is crying rather a lot to the point if he goes off I find it hard to console him. I'm doing everything I can from singing songs, chatting him through the day, asking him questions to stroking, massaging, changing, burping him but I've developed a very unexpected anxiety that he's not smiling back properly yet, finding tummy time traumatic, only feeding to sleep, has colicy symptoms, basically not bonding with me because I don't seem able to understand what he's telling me to satisfy his needs. Today he's fed every half hour and I've been unable to get him to sleep in his basket for more than x1 35 min session so he's very overtired. To top it off my once beautiful relationship with my mum is ruined after years of misunderstandings as an adult and I'm feeling a sense of loss that I don't properly have a mum to share all this with. My NCT group are lovely but don't seem to be sharers (or are anxiety free!). If anyone has any words of comfort I'd be so grateful!

X

You're doing absolutely fine :-) sometimes babies just cry for no reason, is there a particular time that your baby cries? If he's crying whilst feeding etc he might be refluxy, my ds had silent reflux and would cry at certain angles being held , whilst feeding and would wriggle Alot, he also can't bring up wind very well and gets tummy ache, gripe water helps a treat! All babies are different, the mile stones are just a rough guide line, some smile as early as 4 weeks, others slightly later. Ds hated tummy time, again finding it traumatic, literally only managed a few mins a day. Do you get out much? I found just walks to the park or in to town a great help, laying ds in the shade and letting him take everything in, was good for both me and him. Do you go to many mummy groups? Again this is a great way to relate to people and realise that some of the things you're worried about are totally normal for a tiny baby :-) not sure if this is helpful, but I had Alot of anxiety during pregnancy, worrying about everything, from screening tests to what I was eating, funnily enough I do still get it from time to time, I panic that ds will just somehow suffocate himself in his moses basket, despite having no blankets or toys in there :S I fully understand these little people make us worry! Also in this heat my bub has been totally throw off with his feeding, normally lasting 3 hours and barely lasting to two now, wanting feeding all the time, he must need it though, hope you're okay x

Hi there,

I had DD1 nearly 17 weeks ago now and I struggled a lot in the first 6 weeks so I know how you feel (as I imagine a lot of mumsnetters would too). I developed PND and anxiety mostly related to DD crying a lot and seeming to be in discomfort. She is a sicky formula fed baby who has been on Colief since about a month old.

I too found it hard to settle her and resorted to holding her when she slept (9/10 times she was put in basket she would wake) and not going far in pram (didn’t like lying flat in carry cot).

However, between 8-10 weeks she became a lot more settled and I think just used to being out of the womb. I think all those weeks previously we were getting to know each other better ( I know that sounds cheesy but it felt true for me). She is now much better with tummy time and has just started rolling over.

My advice to you is don’t be so hard on your self. All babies develop at different rates and almost certainly a lot dont like tummy time to begin with! I started off with 30 secs to a minute a day and then gradually built it up where now she can tolerate 15 mins.

It’s definitely hard work getting to know your baby but you will learn his particular preferences for things as he gets older.
Overall, the best advice I can offer you is to take it easy, don’t expect too much from yourself and baby and most importantly talk to somebody. I’m sorry to hear you don’t have a good relationship with your Mum but hopefully there is somebody else close you could speak to?

Definitely approach somebody in your NCT group though as some mums do hide how they’re truly coping so you may be surprised at the support they can offer you. Finally, there is always your health visitor and GP - never be afraid to speak to somebody as they can help - it’s what worked for me.

Sorry about the long rambling post but wasn’t sure how to word it! Hope it helps you somewhat though x

Sorry OP newborn babies are so hard to understand and as a previous poster said sometimes they just cry and you don't know why. Don't beat yourself up about it or feel the baby is not bonding with you.

I gave both my daughters a dummy at three or four weeks to help smooth and calm them. Have you tried that?

Also don't worry about the smiling thing - it will happen and when it does it will melt your heart. Amazing.

Be kind to yourself and just take it easy - this phase passes so quickly I promise.

I hate to trot out an age old MN question, but have you tried a sling. At around that age, my SD was only content in my arms or feeding. It was exhausting. I got a NCT Caboo sling off eBay and it was a game changer. Hour long naps close to me and I could get on with chores (or food). Would recommend.

Don't beat yourself up about the rest; sounds completely normal!

Hope you’re feeling better OP. Bumping in case you need any more support/advice from other posters.

Thank you SO much all for your kind words. They really helped. He's had quite severe colic type symptoms this week which has been challenging to say the least but MIL spent the day with me showing me how to burp and wind him so at least I feel more confident there. He's also started smiling which is so gorgeous. Still feeding every half hour but now I know I'm not feeding on top of tons of trapped wind I don't question myself when I feed him yet again which I was doing. Plus my pup was small for his gestation so I guess he's playing catch up and my MIL thinks his stomach must be a bit more immature which is causing the trapped air. I am a bit fried but wanted to respond to each of you personally, forgive me for not doing so. Xx

Also re the sling yes I've just got a ringsling - though it's a mixed bag of when he's up for it!

Glad to hear you are doing so much better. The smiles from baby make all the hard work feel a lot easier!