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Kids quitting hobbies...

10 replies

Twotinydictators · 25/07/2018 15:58

Hi, I would really appreciate some advice. DD(6) started ballet lessons at 4 - she was extremely shy at this age, more often than not refused to leave my side and started telling me she didn't want to go. I didn't push her, she was only 4 and thought her confidence might improve with age. It has, and she does well at school, no problems attending and has lots of friends. 10 months ago I mentioned ballet again and she said she'd like to go. She was attending weekly, all was fine. I was then told she was going to be in their show at a theatre (one every two years) in 6 months time; she seemed really excited and not phased at all so I didn't make a big deal of it. A couple of months before the show she kept saying she didn't want to go anymore - its 'boring'. I said you have to keep practicing the same dance for the show - it'll be less boring when its over. I also told her it wasn't fair to let everyone down and she'd need to commit until the show was over. She begrudgingly continued to go - always comes skipping out of class though and seems really happy. She was really good in the show and absolutely beaming afterwards but went straight back to grumbling about going before every class! I think the issue is a bit of anxiety - she's not a naturally social person (like me unfortunately) and I think pushing out of her comfort zone seems like hard work and she'd rather stay at home. I think she won't get over anxiety like this without pushing herself. But - she's 6 years old, I'm not wholly sure I'm not projecting, on the other hand I also don't want to teach her to just quit when things are uncomfortable. Really finding it hard to make a decision here... any thoughts greatly appreciated. First time poster - be gentle!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
gemjon82 · 25/07/2018 16:27

I have a similar issue with my son, he's 10 and goes to karate lessons. He would rather stay home and play fortnite on the PS4 and moans about it every week. I remind him that if he quits he'll be wasting all the hard work and effort he's put into achieving his belts, he's an orange belt now. He complains every time but I make him go and he always comes home afterwards feeling happy that he went in the end. He tells me he's glad he hasn't quit. I think it's important to teach our children about making a commitment, and what they can achieve through making an effort, setting goals etc, it builds character, even at a young age. However, if I thought my son was genuinely unhappy going every week and was not enjoying his lessons I would let him give up- after having a chat about why of course. I've noticed he changes his mind sometimes after his friends make comments about him not being able to play on Tuesday evenings or if he's playing with friends online. I won't allow it to interfere with our weekly lesson though and my son goes anyway. Maybe your DD is finding it hard to make up her mind if she has friends that don't do the same thing and would rather do something else?
Or could she be finding it a bit hard and would just like to give up? Children can be hard work sometimes. Hope this helps

AdventuresRUs · 25/07/2018 16:29

If shes 6 and done of for 6 months and still isnt keen of course give it up!!!

At that age they can try a selection of things to see what "fits" them but theres no point spending time/energy/money on things they dont fancy!

AdventuresRUs · 25/07/2018 16:32

Maybe shed like swimming lessons or gym or craft ?

My eldest did gym for 2 years before realising it wasnt for her - but its done her in good stead for school sports.

My 6 year old doesnt really like coming home and having to go out again (except rainbows) so has chosen some that are straight after school and choir. But we review termly to check they're still enjoying them. We have sometimes said "give it another month/6 weeks to be sure ".

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Twotinydictators · 25/07/2018 16:46

She has been doing it for 10 months but only complaining for the last couple - a few weeks before the show and a few weeks after. She always skips out of class and has no complaints so I know its more the thought of going rather than the actual doing. I think she would like Gymnastics but don't to keep starting things and then her wanting to quit. Thanks for your responses Smile

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AdventuresRUs · 25/07/2018 16:51

10 months is a reasonable amount of time to try something though. When at junior school they tend to get more serious about their sports and commitment is important. At infant school I think they just need the chance to try things.

Lollyice · 25/07/2018 16:56

Dd was a bit fed up with ballet. She got a fancy tutu for Christmas, we watched the ballerina at the cinema (have since bought the DVD) She hasn't not wanted to go since.
Maybe a trip to a ballet in the holidays might renew her interest.

LadyPeacock · 25/07/2018 16:56

gemjon I occasionally have the same thing with my DS pulling a face about coming off his tablet to go out to his sport.

I make it very clear to him that if he chooses not to go he won't be allowed on his tablet (or any electronics) during that time period anyway.

He is almost always happy to go once he has been reminded of that.

museumum · 25/07/2018 16:59

I think I’d be having a chat each week after the class to really probe whether she enjoyed it and is glad she went.
I often cba to go running but am always glad after that I did. I think loads of kids are the same with going out to a class.

Twotinydictators · 25/07/2018 17:09

I do try and discuss with her but I just get one word answers and then if I give different scenarios in attempt to get to the bottom of it then I feel like Im just putting words in her mouth! Perhaps she is a little young for me to be worrying about giving up on things... I'll let her try gymnastics (if thats what she wants) and take it from there. Thanks all Smile

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gemjon82 · 25/07/2018 21:09

LadyPeacock that's I good tip! Thanks

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