DD at a friends I don't know?

[Widget123]

So I'm just asking this one out of interest, my daughter is 4 she's just finished reception class for the summer. A week ago I asked one of her best friends mums if we could all get together over the summer so the girls could spend some time together, at the time I suggested a BBQ or something. So it's the last day today and the mum comes up to me, asks for my number and then says she will take my DD off somewhere for the day so 'I can have a break'.
I barely know their names let alone anything else, it's a nice gesture but is it ok that I don't feel comfortable with that at this stage? This is my first so what's the norm? When do you start letting them stay over friends and in what circumstances etc?

A great deal depends on your dd. Mine wouldn't go at that age but I know plenty of others that would. Follow your instinct and don't feel bad about what you chose.

My instinct is saying no she's too young, especially to spend the day with people I don't know. I'd want to get to know the parents first then leave her after a period of time if I felt comfortable

She would go to the moon if someone asked her, she's always been like that 😬

I wouldn’t. You don’t really know them. Personally I wouldn’t give my child to a random stranger for the day, and yes to me this is the same thing.
You don’t know who they know, or where they go. Your 4 year old is not old enough to be able to say NO to stuff. I think it’s a risk and something I wouldn’t do. Totally different if you are there hanging out and getting to know them. Always get to know the parents first. Seriously this is way too young.

I remember a similar situation. I said no because it didn't feel right. Dd is now Y6 and good friends with the girl. It's not been an issue subsequently.
As I said before, I know others who did.
I'm sure you can be "doing something else" at the time, if you want an excuse.

I think it's way too young. At that age mine was only ever looked after by family and a close friend. The other mum doesn't know your DD so I'd just say something along the lines of "thanks for the offer but she's not used to being places without me yet so why don't we just meet up with the kids instead?".

It is tough because people have very different ideas of what is 'normal'. But you must go with what feels comfortable for you OP regardless of what the other mum might think.

Mine had some hidden SNs too and would've actually been a nightmare out of her usual boundaries and routines. SNs that weren't patently obvious to the casual observer, so they didn't go places without me until quite a bit older.

Thank you I feel better about it now, I know I can be overprotective I just wanted to see what others did etc but this is exactly how I feel so that's good.

I have a really confident articulate 4 yr old and would say no to this but as I have no local family I would def say no very very nicely and make efforts to get to know the mum if she seemed like someone I would get on with. I have made some mum friends who I would trust to look after my 4 yr old and it's very useful having some people who could help out if necessary (wouldn't ask them for all day except in a dire emergency though - he's pretty boisterous so him plus friend is hard work....)