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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

Any mums of 3 out there?

10 replies

Annach85 · 22/07/2018 22:45

Hi,

I just need to vent a little and hopefully hear from some other mums a little further along in their journey of life with 3 kids!

We have recently had our 3rd daughter, she is 3 months old and younger sister to my 3 and 5 year old girls. She is an absolute delight and we of course all love her to bits. However I am really feeling the exhaustion now! We do-sleep and she also has all her naps on me in the sling - partly out of choice and partly because it’s difficult to get her to sleep anywhere else!

Our marriage is feeling rough right now, I feel guilty for not giving the other girls the attention I want and I am so so exhausted. Can anyone offer me some hope? I know it won’t last forever but have signed up now for a life of complete chaos and no sleep?! I’m also just missing the standard things to like being able to get out on an evening.

Thanks!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Sickoffamilydrama · 22/07/2018 22:57

I have 3 although not a close together as yours.

Honestly yes we have often said what were we thinking, we must have been drunk

Especially as thanks to DS I'm going to need surgery on a prolapse

Number 3 has made us better people, more kind and understanding, more loving as a family & better parents we are way more relaxed with all of them it's like we know what we are doing ....most of the time

And at least when there older one of them is bound to want to speak to us

Kimlek · 22/07/2018 23:01

My DDs are 9, 13 & almost 15. So my eldest two were 4 & 6 when 3rd born. She co-slept but didn’t sling sleep. My 2 were school age so during the day wasn’t too bad but It was a nightmare getting them to school. Having to bf on the way!! My husband was away a lot/long hours at the time & had zero help. Should have asked for some to be fair! Bizarrely it never entered my head. It got remarkably better quite quickly. However, I think 3 is tough. And even now one of them can feel left out. I often wonder if 4 may have been easier!! Get some help wherever you can especially for these early days.

Sickoffamilydrama · 22/07/2018 23:16

Not sure if my post was very helpful especially as I seem to have gone emoji mad....proof that 3 tip you over the edge!
Yes the early days are hectic but aren't they always?
Don't feel guilty it's not going to help anyone the older ones will be fine give them attention when you can. There needs are being met and they are loved that's more important than anything else.

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0-3 months old 3-6 months old 5 year olds Babies & sleep

FranticallyPeaceful · 23/07/2018 01:18

I have an 11, 7 and 2 month old and I understand how you’re feeling! It’s much harder than the leap from 1 to 2 isn’t it?! But these are early days. I know plenty of people with 3 or more and they say the early days are harder but it gets much easier once they become part of their sibling tribe. My eldest two are hardly getting any attention from me at the moment but they aren’t the only people in the world with a younger sibling and won’t be the last - they’ll survive some time with little to no attention! Don’t worry! It’s not forever. Just enjoy your baby - through all the tiredness!

DramaAlpaca · 23/07/2018 01:29

I remember that stage well. When DS3 was born my older two were almost four and 2.5, so I had a very small gap. It was really, really tough for a while. So hands on & so tiring. I thought I'd never sleep again. But we got through it & it's ended up being an absolute joy having three close in age like you OP. They are all in their early 20s now & still extremely close to each other & to DH & me. Yes, somehow our marriage survived!

OP it's OK, you've got this. You'll get through the early days & you'll be fine. Hang in there, it's worth it

HappyBumbleBee · 23/07/2018 01:29

My 3 are 25, 17 & 15 now. Trust me, you will get through it. You just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Try and get baby to start sleeping in either pram or bouncy chair - so you can have half hour with your other two, or try and get into routine where hubby takes baby so you can do bedtime stories with the other two.
Maybe one day a week have an ice cream date with all three DC. Baby in pushchair and giggles with other two.
Honestly little things with the older two will suffice for now....as youngest gets older it will get easier xxx

123bananas · 23/07/2018 01:31

My three are the same age gap, youngest is 4 now. It will get better. Sleep will come and in the mean time you will survive.

Call in all favours for help. Get your partner to take the baby for a walk in the sling to the shops so that you can spend time with the others briefly or take all three to the park so you can sleep.

The mum guilt that we put on ourselves is heavy, try instead to think about all the small things you have done rather than what you haven't.

Original poster

Annach85 · 24/07/2018 05:00

Thanks so much for your responses, so encouraging to read after I’ve been up for the last 2 hours with trapped wind issues (the baby, not me!) I think I’ll feel much better once I can start getting evenings back again, I keep hoping that will happen soon but she’s having lots of issues with trapped wind so it really difficult to put down after a feed.

I do probably need to get better at asking for help, I just hate it! Always feel like I should be able to do it myself I guess, don’t like to put people out and I guess a part of me feels like a bit of a failure for needing help. I know that’s all ridiculous really but they’re not always easy feelings to overcome!

Thanks again 😊

OP posts:

Harriedharriet · 24/07/2018 05:11

Very tough time op! We have 11, 10 and 7. It was, for me, extremely hard for about three 3 years when youngest was born. Now it is truly wonderful with three great personalities running around. I WISH I had asked for help. I really do. It is my biggest regret. I ran myself ragged. And find a sitter who can come e very so often in the day. You go for an early bite with dh, kids already in bed when you get home and a long evening child free. Very good investment! Good luck.

Lavenderdays · 24/07/2018 12:27

Another one here with 3 dc including a baby (4.5 months). Also don't like asking for help because it feels as if I am declaring that I can't cope (when actually dealing with sleeplessness etc is extremely hard in itself without two other dc to then be looking after).
We have absolutely no family support, so most of the time it feels like one hard slog (broken up with a few lovely, shiny moments). But as others have said, I can imagine how lovely it will be as dc's get older and you have those 3 personalities around. I find my 5 year old the hardest at the moment - not her fault she just has so much energy!

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