Potty training hell! Totally reverting after 3 weeks. Please help

[WhyTheHeckMe]

Ds is 2 yrs 7 months. Just over 3 weeks ago we started potty training and within a week he was fab. No accidents apart from maybe 1 small wee a day. However the last 1.5 weeks it's all gone to shit. If we are out in a public space he is fine and will happily hold it and use the big toilets. However at home / nursery / anyone else's house he just does it in his pants. He can be stood next to the potty and he doesn't care! Last night he had just got out the bath and he got on the sofa to wee!
It's infuriating me and and I'm finding I'm starting to get snappy because he must know what he is doing because he had it cracked! We're still offering smarties but he doesn't seem bothered anymore.

I'm seriously ready to throw in the towel. Would you or should I persevere?

Is he wearing only pants? Does he have a nappy on at night? If so do you take the nappy off as soon as he wakes up? Perhaps try bare bottom for a few days at home to see if it improves it and try to minimise the time spent in a night nappy if he uses one? Also there is no point getting angry as it will likely make the behaviour worse.

Don't let him see you are annoyed. Just clear it up and don't make an issue out of it. But when he does use the potty/toilet do praise him verbally. 'Well done you used the potty. Mummy is really happy you used the potty.' Maybe clap if it is after a few accidents and smile. Sometimes the sweeties lose their appeal. It's more important he sees that you are happy and pleased with him. Also hugs are good .
If he is with you and you are with a friend or relative you can say so he can hear and understand. 'I am really happy , (insert his name) has used the potty this week and is doing really well.'
The other person of course might say about accidents but then you would need to say there have been a few but he is trying really hard and you are happy with him.

Thanks for responding both. To answer your questions:

Yes he is wearing a pampers pullup at night time. We put it on just before bed and take it off as soon as he wakes. It's usually quite heavy too.

I know what you mean about do not show my frustration but it's so hard.

However today we've gone back to basics completely. Rather than wait for him to tell me he needs the potty I've made him sit on it every 15 - 20 mins and he has been weeing on there without any accidents at all so far and it's 3.45pm.
We also went to soft play and I took him 3 times there too.
I've really praised him every time he's done a wee and given him smarties and he seems really happy with himself.

I think maybe I was expecting too much too soon. The fact that he had it cracked so fast may have meant we got complacent and just expected him to tell us when he needed to go which wasn't the case.
Guess we should persevere with getting him to try all the time for a few more weeks.

Thank you again for responding.

Glad you had a better day with it. Yes it is hard to be upbeat about it when he has accidents and you are tired or in the middle of cooking or whatever. 🤗

It will take time for him to ask to go every time he needs to. When they are playing they forget or put the need off and then leave it too late .

My childminder (trained gazillions of kids) was telling me just today (in response to my similar woe) that lots of kids do this. She thinks it sort of challenging boundaries behaviour and you just have to keep at it.